Minotaurvent

Tonight I finally had to face the reality of what someone (let's call him Paul) did to me. On our first date, he got on top of me and grinded on me without my consent, and on the next two dates, he raped me.

Tonight, I finally stood my ground, called him gross, and told him to leave me alone. He completely panicked because he lost control of the situation and couldn't handle his ego being crushed, so he unadded and blocked me to pretend he was the one making the choice.

The hardest part right now is the mental fog and the trauma. I’m sitting here beating myself up because my reaction wasn't a straight line. I unadded him, then my anxiety made me add him back just to check the radar because I was terrified, then I froze him out and acted like I didn't know him. Now I'm spiral-thinking that I'm somehow the weird or creepy one.

I know deep down it's just reactive confusion and shock. He violated me, but he twisted reality so badly that I’m sitting here carrying the guilt for his crimes. I wanted a real apology, but I know a predator will never give you one.

I’ve officially blocked him on everything now (TikTok, Snapchat, etc.). He has zero access to my life or my space anymore. I took my power back, but the adrenaline and anxiety are still making the room feel incredibly heavy. Just needed to vent this into the void so I can try to get some sleep. Thanks for reading.