A Beauty With An Empty Soul

Shane Hollander is GAY. He does not like you, does not want you, and never fucking would because sexuality isn't something you can control. You straight people just love to fetishize us and ignore significant parts of us just because you get hot and bothered by our looks. That's all it is. You're sexually attracted to us but we aren't sexually attracted to you and you guys need to accept that. And no this isn't "just fiction" I'm talking about in real life too and mainly real life because it's very prominent in the real world too where men think they can turn lesbians straight or women think they can turn a gay man straight. YOU CAN'T. YOURE ALL FUCKING DISGUSTING. WE AREN'T OBJECTS, WE'RE PEOPLE.

Reminder that's it's so easy to respect queer spaces and not erase queer rep for your hetero entertainment. I understand that straight people can find gay people, specifically gay men, physically appealing and attractive, but if you know they're gay then it should just stop at that. I'm someone who connects with all genders, I'm AFAB but am comfortable with being called a man as I do connect with it and on some days wake up feeling more masculine and manly, so on those days I like to read fics of male!readers to embrace that part of me, issue comes in when it's a gay, not bi or pan, fully gay character and I see a swarm of fem!readers... Like if you're attracted to a fully gay character (not as an umbrella term but referring to lesbians and gays) then read fics of readers with the gender they're attracted to. There's no reason to invade and disrupt a long with disrespect the queer community.

I'm a vampire goth with red/ginger hair, I don't heavily tease it nor am I witchy or wear frilly dresses, NOTHING WRONG WITH PEOPLE THAT DO, LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!! Issue is it's just stereotyping that every goth is trad goth because you're not saying "the person didn't specify so I chose trad goth!" Or even trying to make it all goth inclusive. Most goth sub cultures have multiple things in common, it's tough but if you can't do it THEN SAY THAT. I'm tired of the stereotypes. "Black hair, black lipstick" okay the lipstick isn't that bad, but the black hair is annoying.

Again this is an OPINION. A PERSONAL PICK. I am not directly attacking anyone or gonna act like the world is gonna end over something as stupid as this, it is simply irritating. I am not losing sleep over it 😭 I understand it's not a big deal at all. Just annoying. But the main thing is Goth is about political views and music genres, the most common makeup part is white foundation or face paint, but every subculture under Goth does their makeup different and some goths don't wear any makeup or paint their face white.

I understand it's hard making up a goth character that can be inclusive for all, but you guys can at least try or specify the specific type you ended up writing if you couldn't make it all inclusive 💔 also stop with the button nose shit im gonna throw my crooked nose with a bridge bump at you

I've always been TERRIFIED of anything entering my vagina because I know the first time or first few times you put something in it it'll hurt, and my brain matches that pain with like a burning sensation, and connected anything entering the vagina with pain is usually the cause of vaginismus because even subconscious fear that you aren't registering out loud in your head can cause your vaginal muscles to tense up REALLY tight. You won't feel them tense, but you'll know they are when nothing can get past without pain.

I tried a Tampax light tampon, REALLY SMALL for a first time thing because I was on my period and applied way too late for a lifeguard job and SOMEHOW GOT IT, but obviously I can't be in the water with a pad, liner, or if I'm bleeding in general without a tampon, and I really wanted this job...but had to bail because I could possibly have vaginismus. I was actually sobbing when I couldn't get the tampon in, and it wasn't even because I was scared, it was just because I lost the job I've been wanting for a year and was finally old enough to get, so now I gotta wait til next year just because of my period since I couldn't afford birth control two weeks ago when I was supposed to get a new pack so I wouldn't have to take the white pills so I skip my period.

Right now I'm not worried about it since I'm a virgin meaning I'm not sexually active, nor am I in a relationship, but I am gonna have to settle with the fact relationships are gonna be difficult. Most people want sex in a relationship which is understandable, I can go without sex in a relationship or for the rest of my life if needed, I have other ways to take care of myself that doesn't need a partner, but finding someone who thinks the same as me will be difficult...especially as a young adult where most people want to be sexually active with their partner and everyone makes it seem like you have to have sex with them in a short period of time and ignore the fact everyone has different preferences.

There's nothing wrong with wanting sex early into a relationship or even without one, and there's nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex or waiting to have sex. I personally want to wait a year at least to even just be naked in front of my partner because it takes a LONG time for me to trust someone to be that vulnerable, like when you're naked you're at your MOST vulnerable, especially during sex, and I just feel like the odd one out. I don't care about waiting til marriage, I couldn't care less especially since I don't care for marriage unless it's for insurance or security reasons, I'm just so scared of being hurt and used for sex, I actually couldn't imagine getting past my fear for someone and then they just leave me. I'm so scared I'm gonna be rejected just because I'll refuse to have sex, and that will happen, and it'll happen a lot. I just wish I had someone I didn't have to wait to find when im a grown adult and not surrounded by people my age that are hormonal crazed. Like you do you, but I wish there was someone for me in that crowd.

I spent weeks looking for an affordable board that'll just get me around AKA a cruiser since I don't plan on doing stunts and then I looked for wheels made specifically for roads like mine but no, I'm a fucking moron and I'm gonna crack my head open. She said I should return it and let her take me board shopping at Zumiez and honestly I don't fucking want to. I didn't say that of course, I just shrugged and said I'd think about it and pretended like I was fine with her treating me like an idiot when I actually wanted to scream at her to leave me alone BECAUSE I HAVENT EVEN TESTED MY BOARD YET SO HOW ARE EITHER OF US SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF ITS BAD OR NOT?? LIKE GET OFF MY ASS AND STOP SHOVING YOURSELF INTO MY LIFE RANDOMLY AS IF YOU DONT WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

"I just wanna be a good big sister!" No you just want to prove you're better than me and know everything about skateboards when she knows what literally any other skateboarder knows. She only knows shit about her boards and has only road on zumiez boards and never even heard of CCS or touched one of their boards so she can't pretend like she knows everything when she doesn't. Let me ride the goddamn board first, shit.

Basically my idea of her story is it follows canon but she's more involved with Jon as a child during the times Robert would take her with him to winterfell when they visited and she and him got close since neither of them really had friends and we're shunned by their families, she falls in love with him, it's mutual, when they're teens he leaves for the wall and they have to say goodbye knowing they can't be together anymore because of the oath, heartbreak yatah yatah

And continues to follow canon up until Joffrey is named king and she hears he's a bastard and starts slowly hating Cersei with how she starts asking after Robert is dead and both her AND Oleanna poison the blonde bitch that is Joffrey and my OC (who forgot to say was named Amber) runs away the same night after Sansa does and then basically "teams" up with Stannis to later leave him for dead because he planned to kill her, and then builds her own army but goes alone to confront Danerys to become her "ally" but when she finds out her and Jon are romantically involved her whole plan goes to shit and she's pissed at Jon for not taking 1, but TWO women under his oath, and it's basically a major fuck you "in her eyes" because she loved him even while they were apart for YEARS and it seems like he moved on so quick

But basically she then gives up and just leaves winterfell and I can't decide if I want her to just drop dead in my OC universe or become part of the ending war and end up dying then...or switch her leaving winterfell to staying and becoming a real ally for Jon and Daenerys, and then calling it quits when Daenerys burns down the city and starts fighting with her but does eventually die knowing she never got to take her throne and everyone instead took everything from her her whole life...which I do like more, basically just everyone eventually hating her or not even bothering anymore

Side lore: I do know that my A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms OC is lyonel baratheons daughter and falls in love with Raymun Fossoway and Amber envies what her (great aunt?) had because she had a father that loved her and a loving partner and Amber gets NEITHER (Robert you can't suck as a person, partner, AND a dad, pick one)