Once upon a time there was a guy. His name was.... Fartieous McSquartious. He once sat regally upon his shining throne. A toilet they called it.... or the John... the crapper..... it had many names. Farteous McSquartious treasured his porcelain chair, for it was the most beautiful thing he owned. He sat upon it day and night, insuring nobody would steal it.
Until one day... he got up. Farteous McSquartious thought surely his beloved toilet would be there in the few minutes he took to fart as loud as he could in the public square... for farting is a sacred art. One must fart so loud it shakes the very foundations for which the world was built upon to let it be known.... one is not to be trifled with.
Farteous McSquartious farted his loudest fart yet, sending the other farters scurrying back from which they came. Satisfied, he strutted back to his beloved throne only to find... Bootyes McScootieus had parked his horrid posterior on its cold white seat.
"How DARE you! Remove thyself at once ....younger brother." Farteous McSquartious said venomously.
But Bootyieus McScootieus only shook his head and farted so loud, Farteous McSquartious was thrown backward.
"That is it! I challenge you .... to a fart off." Farteous announced as he got back to his feet.
Bootyieus Mcscootieus rose from the toilet, straightening to his full height. He was much taller than his older brother. But Farteous McSquartious wasn't afraid. He loved his toilet too much.
They faced stared each other down. Then in one swift movement, they turned and began farting. Debris were thrown about by the sheer force of their farts. It was so loud and stinky that everyone in the area died. The end.
U see what I have been dealing with for 6 years now…GO DO SOMETHING 😭
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