ADVISOR CHAS

  “SERIOUSLY THOUGH, OLD man, you need to stop.”

   “BECAUSE FOR A GIRL, you have incredibly thick eyebrows. For us men, having thick eyebrows is normal. For a girl, not so much.” Chas shrugged and smiled. “Was I not nice? I think I did ask you nicely.”

“It’s too late for that. Spill the beans.”

   “I SAID, BOTH your shirt and jeans are on backwards. How long have you been wearing it?”

   “GIRL, WOMAN, as long as you have genitals, it’s just the same.”

   “YOU GOT TO stop. You’re embarrassing to look at.”

          Ellery just STARED – “ What kind of question  is THAT. ”

   “IT MEANS THAT I’m avoiding what you really wanted to say by saying something I know you wouldn’t understand.”

   “IT’S NOT PROPER for a girl to drink that plenty anyway.”

“I have freckles almost exactly like that constellation, the one in the shape of a pan, on my thigh. Why?”

   “Nothing. Just asking. But wow, really, woman? That many freckles?”

   “YOU HEARD NOTHING.”

   “I HAVE NO clue either. But I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“What does that even mean.”

   “LIKE, WHAT’S YOUR biggest asset? Is it your eyes, lips, whatever?”

“Tell you…what now?”

   “IGNORE ME, PLEASE.”

“Why exactly do you need to know? I’m sure you can guess some.”

   “IT’S AWKWARD TO say since I’m a dude. But I’m guessing that it’s your muffin and your bum.”

   “WHAT I MEANT was, besides having that pretty eyebrows of yours, I guess you could share that ice cream?”

   “OH MY GOODNESS, MAN. I was trying to be nice but it seems like your mouth just keeps on annoying me to the point that it reminded me how much I really hate you. Jesus. What is with you?”

   “WHY? HAVE YOU been feeling sick lately? I’ve got to be honest though, I don’t know if that’s good or not since I haven’t really eaten it before. But it smells nice.”