I MISS FLUFFY FICS EVERYTHINGS SMUT NOW💔

#extradirty
todays bird
Xuebing Du
Sade Olutola
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Cosmic Funnies

Andulka
Sweet Seals For You, Always
occasionally subtle
dirt enthusiast

roma★
almost home
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
trying on a metaphor

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Today's Document
DEAR READER
Misplaced Lens Cap
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@charmmyhellokitty
I MISS FLUFFY FICS EVERYTHINGS SMUT NOW💔

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Thinking about a 27dresses!au with reporter!ellie x bridesmaid!reader.
"What was the theme? Humiliation?"
ᝰ.ᐟ Despite being the top writer for the celebrity marriages portion of the magazine she works for, Ellie was far from a believer in the concept of marriage or love in general.
That's why she finds you so interesting. You who was a bridesmaid for two weddings at once, running back and forth from the two receptions and thinking that no one would notice, but she did. Really, she didn't get why you would go to great lengths for weddings that weren't even yours. In her point of view it was just... stupid, and yet somehow, endearing.
Considering she had a deadline to uphear to, (and not because she had any sort of 'love at first sight' feelings) she strikes up a conversation with you, playful banter, and her flirty charm, as she decides to base her next piece about the pretentious yet charming bridesmaid she just so happened to encounter.
── TLDR: I just want to write the dresses scene with Ellie realizes she might be falling for the hopless romantic who is her complete opposite as she photographs each and every one of the 27 dresses on you and listens to the story behind them all. ♡ (pls let me know if this sounds interesting. I can't stop thinking about this)
Plzplzplzplzplzplz 27 dresses is my fav romcom and I now have a newfound NEED for an Ellie au 😓
best friend!ellie who is actually in love with you and hates every person you bring home
you do not have the best track record with relationships
in fact literally every person you date turns out to be a major scumbag
and ellie knows this
because more often than not she's the one picking up the pieces and consoling you
when really all she wants is to tell you to leave those idiots and be with her
“look,” she says to you one day, as you're about to embark on another date
"just don’t… don’t go with him, okay?”
"i'm gonna be fine. he’s not like the others, he’s - he’s really nice, els. and sweet. i think you’d really like him.”
ellie scoffs at this, jaw clenching
“and I really appreciate how much you care. i do. you’re - you’re an amazing friend-”
that's what did it
ellie's gaze flickers back to you, all ice
any evidence of her previously gentle demeanour has completely vanished
"i’m not gonna like him,” she snaps. "as a matter of fact, i’m not even gonna try. you know why?”
she takes a step forward and presses her finger against your chest, hard
"because they're all nice," she continues. "jake was nice. alex was nice. hell, even brady was nice to you at first, but that got pretty overshadowed by the other girlfriend he had the entire time, huh?”
she jabs her finger at you to enunciate every point
“Face it,” Ellie huffs. “None of these guys are good enough for you. They’re all just gonna hurt you, lie to you, cheat on you, whatever. And if you keep going along this road, someday you’re gonna end up married to some deadbeat that treats you like shit and screws his secretary, all because he was nice.”
at this point ellie has you backed up against the wall, the distance between you so little than you can feel her laboured breaths against your lips
at her words, something inside you twists, and a shot of laughter bubbles up your throat
“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think that this is embarrassing enough for me as it is?”
“Don’t you think,” you spit, “that I feel like an absolute idiot every time I find out you’re right about the guy I’m seeing? That he doesn’t actually love me, that he’s just like the rest?”
“Because I do, okay? And the first thing I think of when one of these douchebags cheats on me or yells at me or lies to me isn’t even about how I’m feeling. It’s you!”
Ellie is taken aback by this, like a lot
"Me?"
“Yes, Ellie, you. I think of how your face gets all scrunched up, like - like this! Oh my god, you’re doing it right now.”
you grab her face with both hands as if to solidify your point
“I think about how you look at me like this, feeling all sorry for me and concerned and pitiful and I just…” your breath catches , a sob building in your throat
“I hate what comes after that, too. How angry you get, frustrated because you have to deal with this again and again and again.”
at this point ellie has to grab your wrist to stop you from jabbing the heel of your hand against your forehead repeatedly
she takes your wrists in her hands, concern etched into her features
"hey, hey. i'm not mad at you. i'm never mad at you."
you whine like a little kid when you respond
"yeah, you are"
"'m never mad at you," ellie assures you, pulling you into a hug. "just hate seeing you get hurt. it fucks me up, seeing what those guys do to you. and yeah, it makes me fucking pissed."
you're still really upset, choking back sobs as ellie rubs your back
"i know you think i'm pathetic," you say softly
and ellie's like what?????
because she doesn't think that, ofc she doesn't
"said it yourself. 'm never gonna meet a guy that's good to me. why bother, right?"
"no, that's not what i--" ellie cuts off, struggling to find the right words. "i didn't mean it like that."
"what'd you mean then?"
ellie's in physical pain trying to find a way to say this
because tbh she's been avoiding it for a while now
"just meant that... like, these guys, they're... they're idiots, because you're absolutely gorgeous and they don't see that"
"you don't think that guys find me pretty?"
"what? no! of course they see it. they just don’t notice the little things, you know? like the look you get when you aced a test and you’re about to tell me about it, or how you refuse to wear anything but a skirt even when it’s freezing out-”
what ellie's really trying to say slowly dawns on you
"ellie-” you cut in
“I mean, not that I’m complaining or anything-”
“ellie.”
“I just mean that there’s a million little things that make you who you are that these guys just don’t get. And I could spell it out for them, hell, I could even put it on like, a huge billboard and they still wouldn’t get it. Because that’s just who they are. And it makes sense that you’re shocked by it every time, because it makes no sense-”
“Ellie.”
“Fuck it,” Ellie curses below her breath, before grabbing your face in her hands and meeting your lips with hers
and it was one thing for her to kiss you, but God, it was another thing completely for you to kiss her back
it's completely electric, and ellie can't even believe it's happening
you pull away first, breathless
"you gonna let me talk now?" you ask, your words coming out muffled because ellie's hands are still planted firmly on your cheeks
"no," ellie says, and then dives into you again
when she finally, reluctantly, pulls up for air, you try a second time
"ellie," you whine, and she laughs and kisses you again quickly
"okay," she breathes, "talk."
you're just trying to make sense of the situation right now because everything is happening so suddenly
"you like me," you say, looking for confirmation
"i love you," ellie corrects, "i love you, and i swear that if that airhead comes into this room in the next five minutes to pick you up for that date, i'm going to punch his lights out"
"hey," you pout, "michael is nice"
ellie rolls her eyes and says "there you go again with the nice"
"fine," you laugh, "no more nice guys. i don't like 'em anyway"
"well that's a surprise"
you hum against the crook of her neck, "don't like nice guys. love you, though"
"good," ellie murmurs against your hair, "'m sick of 'em. don't wanna see 'em around my girl again"
"no more nice guys," you solemnly agree, "just mean, scary ellie"
"that's right," ellie agrees, before leaning down to kiss you again and again and again :))
This is so cute I feel like puking 😸😼
The most humbling experience known to mankind 😓
Bathing with a sick Brahms Heelshire.
Slightly cynical Reader, mentions Brahms' childhood, and neglect.
About 1.5k words.

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I imagine creep yandere to be attractive, he’s just a pathetic guy that brings dead animals because he has no sense of what’s romantic, what do you mean a dead bird isn’t cute?
People that have no clue of his reputation are quick to hit on him, and then as soon as he starts talking about taking picture of skulls in forests and looking for dead animals to preserve, they immediately want to get up and stutter out a lame excuse to escape.
At least you don’t ignore him? Sure you treat him with disgust but it’s not enough to deter him, he’s just a pretty boy who’s just a little too dense to get that you don’t like it when he brings dead critters to your door.
When you finally knock it in his head, he’s a little defeated yes, but he gets it, and now he’s collecting flowers and gorgeous shells that he thinks you’d like.
Sure he has to change his gift habits but at least this means you let him into your house.
You’re actually talking to him too!
“So, did you make this yourself?” You say surprised, shifting the flower crown with three of your fingers to look at it from all sides.
“Um.. yes” The suspicious amount of hesitation in his meek voice is eyebrow raising but you don’t ask about it.
He actually just paid a kid to make it because he has no grasp on arts and crafts if it doesn’t involve dead things.
Just a very pretty and dumb guy
This is actually so cute! This simply solidifies the fact that I love losers !! 😻
So cuddly