CHARMINGLY.

L is for the way you look at me

O is for the only one I see

V is very very extraordinary

Egg

man if I had a sword I wouldn’t be worried about shit

I have some good news for you

what is it

A horse’s teeth take up more space in their head than their brain

awwsome I don’t like horses

i am terrified

baby girl you haven’t been smiling in your picrews lately.... is something wrong?

ur mom hands u a glass of orange juice. u take a sip. its not orange juice. its stirred egg yolks. u spit them all out. u ask ur mom why. she turns around. its not ur mom. its me. ur mom is gone. im ur mother now

these old spice commercials have been getting really crazy lately 

I’ve never seen a post about it so I need to make everyone aware that Gaston Leroux had a tradition of running out onto his balcony and firing a pistol in the air when he finished a book, as a signal for his family to come into the kitchen and bang pots and pans together and smash dishes in celebration

me when i write one word

no…. one…. shoots like gaston

writes a book like gaston

I’ll cry at my wedding because it’s a miracle it’s happening