tongue-tied and oh so squeamish

And this, unrelated I think: I remember it was a campus break. Fall break? Everyone had gone back home. The dorms were quiet and campus was dark. The cafeteria wasn’t even running on normal hours, maybe they weren’t open at all. Jessica was gone for the holiday.

The room was dark, the sun was setting outside. I didn’t see anyone on our floor. I was rushing, for some reason - I went for my keys, but the door was already unlocked, the knob was broken and it hung open an inch. I stopped, then eased it open.

The only light was a slant in the diagonal shape of the window with its blinds half-drawn. It fell at an angle across the room, leaving Jessica’s side dark but illuminating my bed and desk. And he was sitting on my bed, like he belonged there. I felt my heart skid to a stop, my throat closing up. He said, “I knew I’d find you here.” I was thinking I wish I could say the same thing.

I knew something was going to be there but I didn’t think it would be him.

Is this real or was it a dream? It seems... I don’t know. So clear.

I wanted to bolt. Instead, we talked. My voice shook. I asked him things. He didn’t answer, really, just said dumb shit that didn’t make any sense. Then something happened. I moved, he jumped, there was a struggle. He took me from there.