Giving makes the world better

Sorry kiddo, you’re out of luck.

What do you mean ”out of luck?!”

As much as I hate to admit it, even the anons magic is more powerful than mine. Heck, the reason Stan wants to give us babies is because of an anon.

I don’t want this!

Cut it off? Touch it? I don’t know. Don’t care either.

I don't like how any of those sound.

But I don’t want to touch it, mate!

B-But Patience isn’t appealing to me, you are!

I'm not interested though--

Why must you torture me this way?

Because I don’t want to just let you in my pants?

What can I do for you to let me into your pants?

Nothing. You’re just not allowed in my pants.

You’re killing me…

You and I both know you can't die, mate.

What’s that like a band?

.. No--I'm actually a virtue.

… You know random boners aren’t exactly uncommon right?

Crikey.

Ok, I either need your name or I’m going to keep calling you dude.

I didn't introduce myself, did I? Sorry, mate. I'm Charity, one of the Heavenly virtues.

But I don’t want to touch it, mate!

[SOBS REALISTICALLY FAKE TEARS]

Are you okay?

[just gonna keep the act going]

I heard he's not a virgin--has a kid with Greed, I think.

Hey—it’s down!

 But blue balls suck, so that’s not always fun. *Shrugs.* 

Whatever. I’m just glad it’s over.

… You know random boners aren’t exactly uncommon right?

Crikey.

Why must you torture me this way?

Because I don’t want to just let you in my pants?

What can I do for you to let me into your pants?

Nothing. You're just not allowed in my pants.

Hey—it’s down!

 But blue balls suck, so that’s not always fun. *Shrugs.* 

Whatever. I'm just glad it's over.

Why must you torture me this way?

Because I don't want to just let you in my pants?

But I don’t want to touch it, mate!

[SOBS REALISTICALLY FAKE TEARS]

Are you okay?

Chaaaaaaaaarity~!

.. What—

Look at you! You’re a handsome man!!

Uh—thanks, I guess.

I wonder how big you are downstairs~!

Hey...! You won't be finding out anytime soon.

Really?

Pretty sure they don’t have an official name though.

Hey--it's down!

But I don’t want to touch it, mate!

And who cares? Except you—

I care a lot.

[THAT EXPLAINS A LITTLE BIT]

 Uh. Yeah? The loose ones with the dick hole in em so you can piss without taking them off? … …. *Wait, if Charity is wearing like girly silk undies this probably explains a lot. He still thinks jacking off is the best bet.*

What.

Really?

But I don’t want to touch it, mate!

I could help you touch it~

No thank you.

Why not?

You're the sin of Lust.

[THAT EXPLAINS A LITTLE BIT]

 Uh. Yeah? The loose ones with the dick hole in em so you can piss without taking them off? … …. *Wait, if Charity is wearing like girly silk undies this probably explains a lot. He still thinks jacking off is the best bet.*

What.