Memory Graveyard

how do we move on? i take pictures of flowers, of ferns, of things i think you would like. i brush my teeth and braid my hair and sing badly and nothing echoes good inside of me. i write poems about birds and burns and bleach and they all reek with the absence of you because not-writing about you is still writing about you. in my favorite daydream i come home to you and just kiss you and hold a candle to the dry tinder and propane, call conflict seeing sparks. 

how do we move on? i guess. like this. i eat too many watermelon sourpatch candies because they’re my favorite. it makes my tongue bleed. i can’t taste anything for hours afterwards. i keep chewing long past the hurting. this is how next time i don’t say yes. this is how i light you out of me like a sunburn. this is how i chase out all this sharp white want. i say - okay. just this once. and then we need to walk away. 

They are thus liable to develop a pattern of compulsive caregiving in later life.

The result in adult life can be a personality devoid of fun,

and feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders. 

Depression and anxiety, 

as well as over-sensitivity to others 

and an inability to assert their own needs, are further identifiable characteristics. 

In addition, there may also be an underlying rage against a parent for not having provided love, and for exploiting the child for their own narcissistic needs.

While Atlas personalities may appear to function adequately as adults, 

they may be pervaded with a sense of emptiness and be lacking in vitality.