what gibbering madness may look like

One person says that Steinbeck is one of their favourite authors for prose, and then they share an example of what they would consider purple prose. It is so violetly awful that I think the poster must have written it themselves as a kind of parody of purple prose. Other people assumed the same.

But as it turns out, they are quoting from a book written by a YouTuber whose channel ia dedicated to talking about writing (namely, their own writing, which is genius, but often not comprehensible to the drooling plebs).

Naturally, I read the free sample of their book in awe and horror, and I'd like to share some screenshots with you. If you also have trouble defining or understanding what purple prose is, it's this.

'Noctilucent orbs'. Even fanfic written by a 14-year-old wouldn't dare.

"The hat is customizable," he said, struggling with the velcro patch on the front. "If I need it, I have an ICE one too. I pick based off the business i walk into."

"Customizable is an important hat descriptor," I said. "what can I get you?"

"You wouldn't believe how offended people get these days," he said. "And I'm supposed to do something about it if you're offended? You chose to be offended!"

"We all have hundreds of thousands of decisions everyday," I said. I thickened my accent. "That's what my stepdad always said. But I can make one easier - we have a delicious Ethiopian roast available."

"Like if I told you you have a bull ring," he said, "because bulls have rings in their noses. Is that offensive?"

I laughed. "I've heard that before."

"It's a joke, but people get offended. Maybe you're offended."

I looked at him. I smiled. "You aren't trying to offend me though, right?"

Of course he was. I was being friendly and the friendlier I was, the faster he switched topics. He was saying anything inflammatory he could think of to see if I'd take the bait. After about 20 minutes of my redirecting and deescalating, he settled into a more normal interaction. He took up too much of my time showing me a product I'd feigned mild interest in to get him to stop talking about getting accused of inappropriate behavior at work. When we finally disengaged, he spent 10 minutes trying to catch my eye again. When he failed, he left.

There's this new breed of customer who insists on trying to incite political conversation through their clothing and, when that doesnt work, their snide little comments. If I owned my own business, maybe I would have given the guy the fight he wanted. But I work for a corporation and I love paying my bills so I deescalated.

it's incomplete to identify this only as a problem of consent, though that is a very large factor. the downplaying and erasure of dysphoria and the negativity surrounding bottom surgery are very much components of the rape culture that harms a staggering proportion of trans women

this is a culture that ingrains in the minds of trans women that we must love topping, that all trans women love topping, that any negative feelings we may have about it are just regressive internalized transphobia. it is ingrained in our minds that our value comes from topping

You want it that bad, just be straight! Should be as easy as telling her to top.

wish it wasn’t real but this went on for 30+ min of us begging her to understand that’s not correct at all

Signed,

When I taught second grade, one of the options for students who had finished their work was to write a letter to the president. I would send all of the letters in a big envelope at the end of every month.

Watching my students get more and more frustrated with him (and concerned about his wellbeing) was not the result I'd hoped for when I came up with the idea, but it was kind of hilarious.

See, Obama had a standard packet with information and activities about his dog he'd send in response to letters from very young citizens...and of course his office sent one back to our class every single time we sent mail.

So eventually all of the letters looked something like this:

this will kill people and they know it, because they prefer us dead and out of sight. the government, the NHS and even the opposition have made this clear again and again. a twenty-five year old can have sex, get married have children, join the military, earn a living, be halfway up the corporate ladder or highly successful in their chosen career field by that age, but they can’t transition under NHS rules. this is a death sentence for trans teenagers and they are going ahead with it. it’s trans genocide, same as across the pond.

Well, shit, now I'm crying.

like, they're in Atlas and getting arrested, right? Weiss was sheltered as shit and never got arrested for the events of the show, Ruby maybe did a small misdemeanor but nothing super major, Yang definitely has a few charges for club fights or petty crimes, but Blake? MILE LONG CRIMINAL RECORD. Breaking and entering, theft, grand larceny, assault, destruction of property, trespassing, and that's just the first HALF.

I like to imagine that Blake has been arrested quite a few times in the past (and has a HUGE distrust of the authorities and Ironwood, but that's a different post), and we know the White Fang didn't really give a shit about their identities (Blake not wearing a mask, Adam's name being known on the news), so imagine the cops looking at their previous crimes. They expect a lot from the bombshell blonde, and definitely a few crimes from the redhead who is literally biting her handcuffs, but what they DONT expect is a PARAGRAPH from the black haired quiet one. And THEN they see her name, and they go "OH SHIT" because they just arrested THE DAUGHTER OF THE CHIEFTAIN OF MENAGERIE and ADAM TAURUS' RIGHT HAND.

okay now I know this wouldn't be really plausible, but for the funnies, imagine if the cop guys read their criminal records out.

Cop: "Yang Xiao Long, destruction of property, grievous bodily harm, violent disorder."

Yang: "Checks out."

Cop: "Ruby Rose, destruction of property."

Ruby: "THAT WAS ONE TIME."

Cop: "Blake Belladonna, breaking and entering, theft, grand larceny, assault, destruction of property, trespassing-"

*two minutes later*

Cop: "-and finally, hijacking."

Blake: "Yeah."

Everyone else: "......DAMN??"

Drawing a character for every day of Pride, 2026 edition

I didn't viciously argue for Miorine with the damn Guell shippers in between the halves of the show to see this.

Well.. Weiss tried her best