[continued from x.] | @kingcenred
Lilé inhaled as Cenred advanced, and each question felt like a fresh wound to a ragged scar. He had always been able to cut straight to the bone. That, she now understood, had not changed.
“You know the answers to that, so why ask?” she said softly. The intensity of his gaze seemed to burn away all her defences, and she glanced away, unable to stand it. “We all do what we must, Cenred. Even you. You cannot believe you will be immune to a political match. Nobody is.”
She had put out a hand to halt his progress towards her, but ended up with her palm against his chest. Her cheeks pinked.
“We cannot continue this. I cannot let you risk your life or even war. Not for me. There is so much more at stake than whatever this between us is.”
Unwilling to name it. Unwilling to give power to it. It was too dangerous, in her eyes.
"I would respect your engagement, if it had been your choice," he assured. He would have stopped pursuing Lilé long ago, particularly considering the dangers they faced by even being seen in each other's company for longer than a few moments, if he truly believed that was what Lilé desired.
Her words were logical, he knew, and he would not be able to ignore his fate forever...but the king did not want to hear that. The hand on his chest seemed to burn, and he raised his own to cover it - his fingers squeezing gently around hers.
"My life is at risk everyday. And yet, what is the point of living, if there is no joy?" His voice had turned tender, and he dared to lean his forehead against hers.
"I am never happier than when I am with you. Tell me you no longer want me, that you no longer care for me, truly...then I will stop."
The moment their foreheads met was the moment her resolve began to crack. His words only worsened the chink in her armour, and Lilé bit her lip, closing her eyes. Gods, she loved him. Truly. But they could not be selfish. Not when so much hung in the balance.
And he wanted her to not say it. He wanted her to be vulnerable. Even though he knew the answer. Lilé trembled, yet made no move to walk away.
“You know I cannot do that,” she whispered. “Just as you cannot deny your own feelings. But we do not have the luxury of choice, of love. Surely you must understand that. You will have to make your own match one day.”
Her hand still rested upon Cenred’s chest; Lilé could feel the beating of his heart, and it was intoxicating amidst her maelstrom of emotions. Walking away was the wiser decision. That was so obvious it might as well be blaring across the realm.
So why was it so difficult?
"I cannot stop fighting for us," he insisted, as he kept their foreheads pressed softly together. He simply did not believe there was no choice; he was a king, after all. There must be a way.
He covered Lilé's hand on his chest with his own, pulling back just far enough so that he could raise her fingertips to his lips. "Marry me instead," he insisted, his dark eyes strikingly intense as he met Lilé's gaze.
"I am the better match, am I not? And with our kingdoms united by a common enemy, a lasting alliance would surely be beneficial for us both," he implored, insistently.
He could not give Lilé up - not to a man she did not care for, not even for the sake of Essetir. He could not.
Hadn’t she always hoped that Cenred would utter those words? Hadn’t she prayed that he would intervene in the nonsense that had befallen her?
The princess had never expected love to find her - Lilé was practical, she knew whatever match was made would be political. But that had not stopped her from falling into Cenred’s bed a dozen times - more - over their years of friendship. But their realms had never been allies. Even their early dalliance had been careful, cautious. Only when the situation worsened had they been forced to cut their encounters entirely.
And now he wanted to marry her.
“It is too late, Cenred,” she whispered against his mouth. “I cannot break this match any more than you could break it yourself. You know damn well my uncle would not accept you as a husband for me. Not after all the political manoeuvring to secure my current engagement. He would consider this an outrage.”
Lilé made to break away from Cenred, struggling with the sudden urge to kiss him, to fuck him, no matter who might see. He was dangerous like that. One look, one moment of his voice, and she could be on her knees for him. Yet everything balanced on a knife edge. Deorsa had known of her past romance with Cenred, and had turned a blind eye as long as no child took root in her womb. But if he knew that their tryst had revived… He might genuinely kill the younger king.
