Felix never bad

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no.

no.

no.

no way.

no fucking way.

you stared at the screen in front of you in horror, blood going cold as you tried to steady yourself and take deep breaths.

fuck.

panicking, you tapped random keys, hoping to undo the disastrous blunder you’d just committed. but it seemed like life had other plans as the familiar and annoying ting of the laptop protestsing against your actions with its inactions pegged your brain.

tears welled up in your eyes as you saw the empty file, go how could you be so stupid?

how could you fucking go ahead and delete the one song that chan has to present in days? the song that chan had worked days and nights for, the ones he’s worked his ass off for. surviving on energy bars and coffee and slaving away in his studio had resulted in the gorgeous masterpiece that your silly brain had just deleted.

your fingers moved over the smooth mouse pad, hovering over the recycling bin and you prayed your life for it to be there.

great fucking hell.

you’d deleted it permanently.

you groaned in anger, grief swallowing you and making your throat clench.

your hands ran through your hair, messing them up even more and you willed yourself to not cry.

there must be some way to get that file back.

you told yourself, you just had to.

you wiped your tears away, messing up your liner a bit but it’s okay, chans song was more important and he had to submit it soon.

as you felt tears run down your cheeks, hot against the january cold, you thought of all the different ways in which you could possibly save his song.

a creaking noise and the shuffle of keys, the sounds of a door opening and closing and then the muted footsteps of sock on wooden panels made you freeze in place.

“baby, i’m home!” chan’s soft voice rang around your home.

you felt your heart break further, his voice was tinged with exhaustion and you could feel his stress from the other room.

“baby?” he spoke again when you didn’t answer and slowly emerged through the door, finding your standing figure with your back facing him. “there you are! i thought you were asleep or something.”

you swallowed the guilty lump and stood immobile, thinking about how you could tell him the horrible news.

his footsteps neared you and large warm hands came across you, bringing you closer to his cozy figure.

“ahh, i couldn’t wait to hug you all day.” he breathed deeply, snuggling his nose into your neck.

as much as you wanted to enjoy his warmth, you couldn’t bring yourself to. you hated yourself in that moment, how could possibly feel comfortable in his arms when you’d destroyed something he’d loved?

“y/n?” and now his voice was laced with concern. the use of your name and not your nickname proved that he was worried and serious. “is something wrong?”

he slowly left you and walked to the front, worried eyes searching your face and his eyes widened. “you were crying?”

you blinked quickly, sniffing and hastily wiping your tears away.

“oh it’s it’s, its, uh, nothing, uh nothing nothing.” you stammered and chan knew something was horribly wrong.

“y/n, baby what’s wrong?” he softly mumbled, wiping your cheeks with his calloused hands and you felt your lower lip tremble.

the tremble reached your eyes and a fresh batch of tears rolled out, making chan gasp in panic and hold you closer. “baby please tell me what’s wrong? is..is, is something troubling you? is it, is, is it your result? do… do you, do , you have a lot of assignments and are stressed?” he rambled, trying to figure out the cause of your distress.

you closed your eyes, trying to level your breathing. “i-.” you began, then but your lip.

chan quietened down as soon as your lips let the words out. “yes what is it baby tell me? are you feeling sick? is it, is it, is-

“i deleted your song chan!” the words tumbled out with a painful force, like bricks falling down from a rooftop.

“oh-.” chan breathed. “i thought something serious had-.” he chuckled in relief, “you just deleted my song-.”

and that’s when it floated through chan, the meaning of your sentence.

“you what?” he whispered, hands now at his sides and the worry was nowhere to be found on his face. “you WHAT?” his voice rose, making you take a sharp inhale.

“i am so sorry, i was just looking for a file i’d mailed you to check how it looks on another device and i was gonna delete it but i accidentally-.” you mumbled, putting together a bunch or sentences trying to explain yourself.

chan raised his hands, trying to quote you down.

“shut up! shut the fuck up y/n!”

“chan i’m so sorry-.” you tried again, tears blurring your vision like rain on glass.

“fucking hell, just shut the fuck up for a goddamned minute y/n!” he yelled with rage in his eyes. the piercing gaze made you stop your words mid sentence and you blinked furiously.

“you knew how important that song was! you fucking know i have to present that song to superiors in a week!” he cried out, hands on his head in disbelief as he walked away from you.

his repeated swearing told you how made he actually was, he would refrain from swearing in front of you, well aware of your dislike towards swearing and curse words but the fact that he was using them repeatedly, you knew he was beyond mad. and you understood that. he had every right to be mad.

“i’m so sorry.” you whispered, once he’d calmed down a bit.

he was still breathing deeply, though the anger had died down a bit.

“what the hell y/n.” he mumbled, not looking you in the eye.

“chan-.” you spoke once more, not wanting to see him so dejected.

he put up his hand, gesturing you to stop.

“no y/n. don’t. i don’t want to speak to you right now. please, i can’t , i don’t… i can’t see you right now.”

your heart broke at his words, but you nodded. “i get it.” your lips moved slowly, like a muted background character in a movie.

“i, don’t want to look at you right now, i’m sorry.” he sighed softly, turning around.

you were the one in the wrong, yet he still apologised.

“i understand, i’ll, i’ll leave.” you whispered, woking with slow steps to the table to take your phone and walked back to the entrance. “take all the time chan, i’m so sorry.” you let out hopelessly before walking out in the cold night with no jacket.

chan didn’t stop you.

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