AND REMEMBER CHANEL OBERLIN IS ABOVE THE LAW.

      “ have you, heather? have you seen and worn better? because judging by that outfit you so BLINDLY put on this morning, i’m starting to believe that your version of BETTER is code word for geriatric apocalypse. as in you shop in a world where sixty year old fat ladies own each and every store.    &&    yes, i’m including your smell. ”

         “ duh, whiny wendy, that’s exactly what it means. ”   hopefully the weirdo laying on the floor wasn’t expecting a SERIOUS ANSWER. wasn’t expecting someone to spew words of wisdom or be of some support because that wasn’t, in the least bit, chanel oberlin. her heels clack around the one sprawled out on the floor, pacing back and forth as arms are folded over her chest.   “ if people are constantly leaving you, and whatever daddy-nicholas-sparks issue you are having then maybe it is your fault? like, NO OFFENSE but maybe you’re just boring, and gross, and smell like a mouth a gauze sitting in the sun for three months ”   she’s kneeling next to the stranger now.     “ news flash, cow, if you were hot or worthy of anyone’s time you wouldn’t be feeling just as useless as we all know you are. ”

there was a reason she was drawn to tate. his honesty, probably. unlike the rest of the slobs she’s around he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. BUT she still didn’t plan on paying the ticket. “ think like a killer, TJ LANE? just how am i expected  to do that? hmm? ” she’s pacing back in forth now.  “ watch a crap ton of horribly directed michael myers movies? rub one out to a freddy kreuger mask? SERIOUS SUGGESTIONS only please!! ” she had no chanels around. she needed someone to take her built up frustration out on.

   “ um, ‘scuse me, REJECTED BRAVE character? do you mind shutting the hell up for about ever? some of us would rather not listen to a cliche redhead hum their national anthem. ”

    “ not used to seeing shoes this expensive worn by someone other than the randos in your vintage SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE, heather? ”

    “ thank you so much for wasting about five minutes of my day droning on and on about children’s teeth, jerry sandusky with the opposite genitalia. ”

       “ clearly this is A CRIME within itself!! ” she’s been ranting to him for the past ten minutes -- maybe longer. hands flying in fits of passion, her timbre in all sorts of volumes. “ i am a hot twenty-something, kind-of-not-really rich woman, whose fiancee just died in a mysterious murder  &&  this police officer has the audacity to give me a ticket because i parked in a handicapped spot? ” her complaints are in a whining tone. “ like, seriously? WHO CARES, that this woman in a wheel chair had to roll her ass all the way over to the mall doors??  i am in MOURNING! ”

        “ how stupid are you? are you the product of backward, country-bumpkin siblings? because the only way i’d be tempted to eat burnt carbs, is if i planned on swallowing it down with a BOTTLE OF BLEACH. ”

     “ YOU? what the hell is going on with YOU? it is unfathomable that you can make this moment about you and your witch powers when i am blue for-freaking-ever!!  our very own JC did not die on the cross so that some obnoxious cockney redhead can be amazed with her boring life because she can hover. ”

       “ oh, with your face?? lack of proper skin care. obvs. ”

        the only thing she saw when walking into the room was water coming towards her, splashing swiftly on her attire.  “ and what ability is that, daftniss everdeen? the ability to be a complete and utter idiot? the ability to ruin a hot, kind-of-not-really rich, 20 something year old’s outfit? or is it simply your AMAZING ABILITY to look like bambi on LSD? ”

    “ holy crap you’re such a FLIPPING cliche.  ”