Parker Benton

Lyra looks how I feel during Mania week. Has anyone tried getting her to sleep?

I asked her if she slept at all in the last month and she went “WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ASKING IF I SLEPT 🫪”

Oh, then she REALLY needs some sleep.

My newest hobby has been imagining out loud what Mary Shelley's social media presence would be like and it has a 50% chance of pissing Parker off.

She would not have used hashtags!

Rebecca.

Olivia.

REBECCA

Rebecca.

Olivia.

God. Dammit.

God. Dammit.

The little brother’s insecurities are so obvious, a blind man can see them.

You do not have to bait him like that.

It’s far too easy when he has tissue paper for skin.

Be that as it may, you two bring out the worst in each other.

The little brother’s insecurities are so obvious, a blind man can see them.

You do not have to bait him like that.

Oh sure, Punk lets his hair grow out and everyone’s happy but when I do, everyone thinks I’m going through it and suddenly need an intervention.

I need him to give me barbecue tips, though. That’s a necessity.

IF HE IS SO GREAT THEN WHY IS HE BALD?!??

….fair. Which means I’m great cause I’ve got a full head of perfect, pullable, luxurious hair.

Nope.