𝓈𝓊𝑔𝒶𝓇 𝓅𝒾𝓃𝓀

     for @rksxngyeol. ✨

“i’m curious --” chaewon admits, resting her chin on the heel of her palm. she studies sungyeol’s face as closely as she can as she speaks, not bothering to be subtle about it. “and you don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, but i’m wondering, after your mga experience, would you ever do a survival show again?” ever since hearing that wendy sometimes wished she could’ve been signed privately, chaewon’s been reconsidering her stance on survival shows. is chaewon better off this way in the long run? or will she end up being overshadowed by members who had more pre-debut exposure? then, she wonders if that shit even matters in the end? or if she’s placing too much weight on something purely because it’s unattainable to her, but she wants it regardless? “like, if nova ever did something like the supernova project again, y’know?” the obvious answer for her, and for most trainees she assumes, would be yes. but for some, who have had to go through it all already, wouldn’t it be tiring? 

    for @rksora. ✨

spying sora from across the lobby at nova entertainment, chaewon is suddenly struck by the realisation that, if she ever debuts at all, she might not even debut under nova. what company was sora under before she joined and*roma? chaewon doesn’t even know. she tries not to make it too obvious that she’s staring, but she can’t help it either -- thought crisis inspired by her aside, sora is still an and*roma member. chaewon isn’t the embarrassed, flustered thing that she was back when she met darae for the first time, but her heart beats a little faster nonetheless as she crosses the room to make her introduction. 

“excuse me, um, hi,” hands fiddling behind her back, chaewon forces herself to make eye contact with sora, no matter how much she wants to look away. why is she so nervous? sora is younger than her, isn’t she? “i know you’re, like, a member of and*roma and i’m ...” pause. chaewon clears her throat and wills herself to be confident. “let me start again, please. i’d like to introduce myself! i’m park chaewon. we’re both kind of new around here, in different ways, of course, but i’d still like to say hi. i’m a big fan of and*roma.” 

         ▶ performing zimzalabim by red velvet fondant fancy!              ( performing joy’s parts )

          ▶ preparing zimzalabim by red velvet fondant fancy!               ( performing joy’s parts )

  for @rkxskm. ✨

chaewon’s been pretty wary of any of the guys around the place ever since her mess up with the per_se member a couple of weeks back. even if she completely knows a guy’s face to see from her classes, she’s convinced that they’re going to turn around and tell her they’re a member of per_se. she knows they won’t though -- after her stupid mistake, chaewon made a special effort to actually learn about her other company seniors.

as dance practice breaks and everyone starts to shuffle out in search of dinner, chaewon falls into step with one guy in particular. it takes considerable effort to do so, considering the length of his legs in comparison to hers. 

rkwendy​:

Wendy nods as she watches Chaewon get settled across her. She rarely gets to meet the newer trainees, much less those who have been her students. The last time she met a trainee, he had scolded her to cockblocking his meeting with Luxe. He was lucky Wendy had been amused. She nods as she pays attention to Chaewon’s audition story. At least it hadn’t been as public in nature as the MGAs. “I’m glad you impressed them enough to see something in you,” Wendy says with a smile. “Those casting directors are hard to please.” 

“Sometimes I envy those who got scouted privately,” she says with a laugh. “At least there aren’t expectations or presumptions of your character.” Honestly, she was lucky that she had only been edited badly for a short while not to affect her votes in the MGAs or her place in SN Project. Though she was amused at her editing in MGA5, which she supposes was warranted. “How has training been for you so far?” Wendy asks, redirecting the attention to Chaewon. “I get that everything can get overwhelming, but you’ll eventually get used to it.” 

chaewon bristles with pride, smiling more to herself than at wendy. even if it’s not a direct compliment about her skill, it’s close enough for chaewon. “thank you,” she sing songs, momentarily hiding behind her hands to conceal her blush. “i didn’t think i was going to pass, to be honest. i only signed up because my roommate dragged me along, so i didn’t exactly have high expectations for myself. it was nice to be proven wrong.”

rkxlia​:

lia’s eyes widen in pleasant surprise, a slow grin blossoming across her lips. when she had asked that question, she didn’t really expect to be met with an affirming answer. it was just a throwaway so as not make things awkward. after all, not everyone knows how to play an instrument even if an acoustic guitar is common. nevertheless, she’s happy with the response.

based on experience, she’d always had good memories with people who play the same instrument. she remembers sessions where they would all just play their guitar to whatever tune comes to mind, then someone who can sing would jump in to do so. it was such an uplifting way to pass the time. by the end of it, they would all leave in good spirits and a stronger friendship. while the same situation cannot be guaranteed here, the other’s welcoming reply was a good indication that they were off to a nice start.

“thank you.” she bows her head slightly as she humbly accepts the compliment. “how long have you been playing?” she asks curiously. “i feel you, though. it’s actually been awhile since i last picked up this thing. i’m happy to hear i haven’t lost the skill yet.” pausing, she offers the guitar. “would you like to play?”

chaewon steps a little closer, but she doesn’t sit down yet. it’s too presumptuous ... plus, chaewon doesn’t want to get her clothes dirty. even worse, if she sits down, then she’s committing to the conversation, and to giving this stranger at least ten more minutes of her life. she seems nice and normal now, the picture of innocence sitting in the park with her guitar, but so would chaewon. not that chaewon finds herself unbearable or anything, however she is well aware that she can be on the abrasive side. 

so really, this girl could turn out to be anyone, but chaewon is too curious not to take the chance and see.

“since i was around ...” chaewon counts the years back on her fingers. “i must’ve been around nine? i wanted to learn how to play some taylor swift.” 

rkxric​:

eric snorts, “you’d be surprised how often it comes up when people are drunk at parties.” there’s been quite a few times at parties where the topic of first kisses has come up and eric’s had to admit he’s never had his first kiss. people usually don’t believe him, or call him cute and coo at him like he’s a baby (not that he really minds being babied, in all honesty). “i feel like i’d rather have a bad first kiss than no first kiss.” he says with a pout. 

he’s about to ask if chaewon thinks he’s unattractive, but closes his mouth, a flush spreading over his cheek as she says that isn’t his problem. something about her thinking he’s not unattractive makes his stomach do nervous flips. however, when she says his problem is obliviousness, he frowns. does she mean that.. he’s had the chance and completely not noticed it, or something else? because that sounds rather far fetched to her. “left hanging..?” he murmurs in confusion, before it slowly dawns on him what she could be saying. as she confirms his suspicions his lips part in a surprised ‘o’. 

she’s trying to kiss him? the blush on his cheeks spreads right to the tips of his ears and his eyes widen, before a nervous giggle escapes him and he bites back a grin. “really? you’d kiss me?” it sounds crazy, someone as beautiful as chaewon being down to kiss him. but, since it was so blatantly said, he assumes she’s not joking around, so he nods eagerly. “yes. i definitely want.”

she rolls her eyes at him again. “you’re so dramatic.” chaewon’s surprised that it matters so much to him, but she supposes it might’ve done to her to if she was in that situation. she has enough insecurities of her own already though, she doesn’t want to waste any time dwelling on imaginary ones. and, she supposes, she doesn’t mind ridding eric of one of his.

“oh my god,” she laughs, as she reaches out and puts her hand on his shoulder, using it to scoot right up close to him. “don’t say it like that. it doesn’t matter how desperate you are,” chaewon explains, clicking her tongue at the same moment that she jabs her index finger into his chest, physically punctuating her point. “it’s a total turn off to actually show it.” in her opinion, anyways. she’s sure there are exceptions to chaewon’s rule, but for a moment she was tempted to pull back -- not because she didn’t want to kiss him, but because of her old habits and instincts slipping back in, just for an instant. the newer, nicer version of chaewon stays put where she is.

rkwendy​:

Rest is welcome to Wendy, especially now that her final semester in university is starting. It’s almost weird to be thinking of today as her “last first day of school” in a long time. She never thought this day would come, but here it is. It’s going to be sad to say goodbye, but she’ll cross that bridge when she gets there. She finally gets back to Nova Entertainment, and the first thing she does is head to the cafeteria. She has not eaten since breakfast, so Manager Siwan will have to stop judging her for today.

She looks up when she sees someone approach her. Wendy remembers Chaewon from both the speak up classes and their impromptu meetup. The last time they talked, Chaewon didn’t seem to be associated with the company. Perhaps it happened sometime after that? 

“Congratulations and welcome to Nova, Chaewon!” She says with a smile. “Come and sit with me, if you’re not busy doing anything else.” 

Wendy nods. “How did the audition go? Were they nice to you?” She asks. She’s genuinely curious how all the newcomers made it to the company. “What did you do?”  

“thank you so much!” chaewon’s cheeks immediately flush red when wendy invites her to actually sit with her. a meal with a member of her favourite girl group ... yeah, maybe getting into nova over royal or kt was fate. never one to turn down an opportunity, and feeling much more confident because of their former meetings and after meeting sunmi, chaewon slides into place opposite wendy. “ah, i’d love to, thank you.”

rktaeyang​:

taeyang arches a single brow above confident eyes, positive that she is fooling around—there is no hiding that he’s good looking but deep down, he actually thinks that chaewon is right. dating someone like him absolutely stains one’s reputation if they know about his past and what happens behind the scenes of his family, however, hardly anyone does. in fact, he can count on one hand how many who does.

  “hmm, i don’t know who made the worse call back then.” he says, purely to return the tease.

not to say that taeyang is a horrible person, though. sure, he has flaws as most humans does, but his own view of himself is rather poor—it’s well hidden, it always has been. anyway, at the end of the day, he can’t say anything but that he is happy to have met chaewon, and that she is still part of his life. as they step into the empty training room, he leads the way towards the sound system, motioning for her to set up.

“ah, you know~ it’s nothing to worry about, but i’m sure happy to hear you have a good year.” rather than explaining everything regarding his late parents, his possibly lost dream and the breakup with his girlfriend, taeyang refrains from opening the can of worms. “you should tell me more about it after you show me your audition routine!” so, he does what he does best, and that’s to shift the attention elsewhere.

“me. it was me. i made the worse call,” chaewon insists haughtily, though she doesn’t completely believe that either. she’s still a bitch a lot of the time today, but back when they first met she was probably much worse -- she didn’t have any friends, she was still dead set on returning to london, and she was still reeling from her parents’ accident. 

weirdly, that’s how she likes to remember herself back then anyways. chaewon doesn’t like to be reminded of the fact that her standoffish behaviour was a cover up for her shyness and anxiety, for her grief and her worry. taeyang totally got the short end of the stick, but she was glad that he’d taken it anyways.

“the worst best call,” she adds. if he’s been having a bad year, chaewon surely doesn’t want to make it worse. she’s a bitch, but she’s not evil. she looks out for her friends. “if you’re sure it’s nothing to worry about, then that’s okay. i’m not any good at giving advice anyways. but i’d still be ... fine with listening sometimes.” one. because she cares. two. because she’s nosey. 

rkxric​:

eric isn’t surprised chaewon’s kissed people, when she looks like that. it’s understandable to him that he’d have lived his life kissless when he’s so average looking, when there were people walking around blessed with good looks, like chaewon. why kiss an eric, when you could kiss a chaewon, right? “i dunno, it sounds awful but it’s the experience and being able to say you’ve done it that i guess i’ve missed out on.”

he knows he doesn’t have to like someone, or be liked, to be kissed, romantically that is, but he doesn’t think anyone has ever liked him enough visually to want to kiss him either. he wonders why though, when he realises guys who he really thinks were less attractive than him had had their first kisses. it’s not that he thinks he’s handsome, because he doesn’t, he’s just average. at least he’s got good personal hygiene and wears clean clothes - a scary number of guys his age don’t even do those things, yet still get kissed.

“i just… think no one’s ever found me attractive enough to warrant kissing.” he admits, his blush staying fixed on his cheeks. it’s strange, admitting it to chaewon, what if she thinks less of him now? something about the thought makes his stomach twist unpleasantly. she’s a good friend and he’d not want to ruin that by making her think he’s lame. however, her question shakes his from his thoughts and he emits a light laugh. “of course i do. i just don’t think anyone wants to kiss me.” he says, assuming she means in general (because surely that wasn’t an offer). 

chaewon shakes her head. “no way, plus, who’s even asking if you have or not?” she insists. “i mean, apart from this conversation, obviously. really, it just sucked. thinking about it makes me want to ...” she scrunches up her face in disgust and points a finger into her mouth. she holds herself back from making the noises to match. she’s playing it up a little. “very weird memories. but, i guess most people probably find it weird the first couple of times.” 

rkxlia​:

@chaewonrk

her acoustic guitar sat neglected in her bedroom for some days now, her easel and canvas getting more of her undivided attention. julia had always been a tad bit terrible when it comes to multitasking; opting to choose one over the other instead of cramming her entire day with both. seeing as she has just successfully wrapped up the art project she was diligently working on, she now has the freedom to pick up her guitar and focus on her music without guilt of having unfinished business. 

like always, she chooses to lug her instrument halfway across seoul to her favorite han river park for some peace and quiet. her sister was at home, studying for some medical exam and would have had a coronary if julia so much as makes a noise within her vicinity. this was her safe space. as she unpacks her guitar from its bag, it felt like homecoming.

she feels the strings for a moment, smiles happily at the familiar touch. after awhile, she starts playing a song―one so frequently played she could do it with her eyes closed. as soon as she opens her mouth to sing, she gets lost in it. failed to see the figure just off of her right. upon finishing the song, she finally sees her and breaks out into a polite smile. “do you play?” she asks in greeting like the somewhat unusual girl that she is.

meandering through the park isn’t something that chaewon does often, but when she does, she like to take her time. sometimes, usually after a long night of drinking or, more recently, after a particularly hard day’s practice, she craves the feeling of the air on her skin. it’s extra special during the cooler months, when the bite in the air forces her awake. 

sans airpods however, chaewon finds the ambient noises of the park more disconcerting than anything else. she kicks a stone aside, silently cursing herself for forgetting them, and for being too lazy to turn back around when she’d realized she didn’t have them. then, she hears a guitar. chaewon really doesn’t mean to act like a creep, to hang around and listen to the girl playing when she’s not even formally busking ... but she is playing in public. if she’s annoyed, chaewon’ll just tell her to go play inside if she doesn’t want people listening in. her voice is pretty too. 

rktaeyang​:

as chaewon confirms, taeyang nods in approvement whilst realising that they proceeded to attack the audition with the same tactics. “obviously, that was a good choice—otherwise, you wouldn’t be here right now—i did the same thing actually, went for one of the routines that i used to teach a while back at negative motion.” darn, how he misses it there.

although unexpected, he can only grin as excitement blooms. yes, he is absolutely eager to see what kind of routine landed chaewon a contract with nova entertainment, though perfectly aware that she deserves a spot here. with their history in mind, taeyang obviously cares about her, he wants to see her succeed. “sure thing! i think there should be…”

his sentence trails to a pause as he moves, then waves for her to follow his lead. “i’m pretty sure that one of these rooms are empty, they usually are.” when he opens the intended door, taeyang carefully checks it for people, remembering the time he barged in and disturbed seungah’s practice—with the coast clear, he shows her inside to the cool room.

turning to her, he nods, a small smile lingers. “yeah, i’m fine. twenty-twenty has been a lot, that’s all.”

“mhm, obviously. but i’ve never made a bad choice in my life, so is it really all that surprising?” chaewon’s ego is so easily inflated. her head is already a bit too big for her shoulders, but the growth isn’t showing any signs of stopping any time soon. “obviously my taste is good.” she tapped her chin thoughtfully, looking at taeyang playfully. “ah, but i dated you, didn’t i? that’s a stain on my reputation.”

that’s completely untrue. taeyang played a big role in chaewon’s first couple of years living in seoul. she’s happy to call him a friend. she strolls after him towards the practice rooms, fingers linked behind her back as she walks. “hopefully.” she sing-songs. it’s always so awkward to go into a room and then have to immediately dip back out. in that situation, it’s only polite to apologise, but chaewon hates having to.

     for @rkwendy. ✨

as intimidated as chaewon is by the and*roma members, she does want to see gyeoul again. chaewon doesn’t really believe in fate, but she doesn’t exactly think it’s totally bullshit either. she believes in luck, and she believes in paths. like, if chaewon’s parents were still around, she’d probably still be living in london. she might’ve gone onto a singing show like the x factor, or maybe the producers her mother knew would’ve gotten her a role on the west end. that’s one path. if she hadn’t made friends with naeun in high school, she might have given up on performing altogether. 

and, if she hadn’t gone to gyeoul’s singing class at the samsung speak up event, she might not have written down and*roma as one of her musical inspirations on her audition form. if she hadn’t, nova might not have taken a second look at her.

( unlikely, she knows, but she thinks that her listing and*roma on the form basically said that nova was her third choice of company, even if she didn’t realise it at the time. )

chaewon tentatively approaches wendy in the nova canteen, clutching her can of coffee in both hands.

      word count: 322. rkaug20eval.

maybe she should have gone to one of the other locations for the evaluation. not because she thinks any of the other concepts would suit her better ( they wouldn’t, the pink pool café is totally the best location for her look ), but because she hates all this waiting around. they’re meant to stick around for other people’s photos too, but chaewon is sure that she could’ve talked her way into getting to go home early. 

rklisa​:

she smiles, allowing the other girl to poke her cheek even if she normally hates it when people touch her face. for chaewon, she supposes she’ll allow it, given their history together. “they are, right?” her tone is light and half joking, because apparently it doesn’t take much for someone to boost her ego, and she knows chaewon wouldn’t lie to her about these things. as much as it seems everyone expects something a little more edgy from her, she thinks she can pull off cute just as well.

if nothing else she just likes to be able to prove people wrong, so maybe that’s why she’s here after all.

“clubbing isn’t fun as long as the company staff is there anyways.” or fellow trainees, for that matter. she can just imagine the annoying ones going and snitching on her for something stupid, and the thought makes her a little bit annoyed even if it’s entirely hypothetical. “i think you could make arcade lighting work though. or at least i feel like they would bring some lighting and those reflective things. you would look cute in an arcade, with a colorful outfit and everything.”

lisa sighs, following the girl’s gaze to the empty cafe shelves. “well, maybe we can go get something after. i’m starving.”

“absolutely!” chaewon sing-songs. encouraging her friends, even if it is by way of inflating their heads. she really does think that lisa has a cuter face than people give her credit for. she could pull off any concept, chaewon thinks. she’s lucky like that. as for chaewon, she’s too small, too princessy for most people to take her seriously when she does anything other than cute. it works to her advantage most of the time, but sometimes she’d like to be seen in a different light. 

chaewon plays with the ends of her hair. maybe the blonde hair is contributing to that image. she’s attached to it now though, she’s not ready to dye it back to black or any other darker colour just yet. 

“right? like that party they threw last month ... it was cute but, eh, it was kind of lame.” she rolls her eyes. even if it was a little on the lame side, she’s glad that she had such a sweet deal for her first trainee evaluation. “oh, maybe a look with a vintage feel? arcades are totally, like, 80s, aren’t they?”