Cerulean

[no] good grief is a participatory performance about grief.

An experiment for mourning in community, it is a plea to remind the audience that they need not grieve alone. Not all deaths are equal and not everyone gets the after-death process that they want or deserve. Cerulean steps into the shoes of the recently deceased, asking you to mourn them because, well, someone has to. Cerulean can't die without you. Or at least, they would prefer not to.

[no] good grief is Cerulean’s (not so) final Hurrah. It is a celebration, it is a party, it is a (Fun)eral. This show intends to explore the audience as a necessary participant in the very sad (we are all very sad to hear about the) passing of Cerulean and to test the limits of silence at a wake.

Part silly, part serious, this performance will stay with you long after it’s gone. Exploring themes of morality, Queerness and care from the perspective of a Trans, working class performer who is certain they will die (if not now then) soon.

Cerulean is an experimental performance artist, seeking to fill the space it inhabits. They cannot separate themself from their work, or the context it was made in.

Photos by Holly Revell

PERFORMANCES TOOK PLACE AT:

Blue Metaphore Presents: Beyond the Veil. Bristol. November 2025

Lambeth Fringe. Bread and Roses Theatre, London. October 2025

Evenload Festival. August 2025

Heavyload Festival. Hoxton Hall, London. June 2025

We cant do this without you. Camden Peoples Theater. April 2025

Eulogy Mad-Libs [Working title] is a short performance where cerulean creates a collaborative document that is later used as their own Eulogy. Using the word game, Mad-Libs as a base of creation, Cerulean asks the audience to offer nouns, verbs, and adjectives, which form the body of their text. This work then went on to inspire their [no] good grief project.

I implement a neurodivergent methodology that centers my access needs, but what does that look like?

Games: A type of access I weave into my work and life is to game-ify everything. In order to remain motivated, I need a sense of whimsy, silliness and novelty. My decisions are made through the roll of a dice, incorporating risk into my creative process. I make work that utilizes these games, such as my Eulogy Mad-Libs which later sparked the creation of [no] good grief.

Community I can't do this alone. And so I won't. In my process, I make sure to remain in contact with community. Staying in constant conversation with my friends, and collaborators stops me from isolating myself and hyper fixating on a project. For me, it is helpful for both my heath and my creativity to keep in contact with the world outside my work.

Asking for Help There is no shame in asking for help. For me, I find it difficult to network or engage in the more social aspects of freelance work. Luckily, I am able to collaborate with people who do not have such difficulties. In these cases, we can work together in a way where they take on the social labour and I can engage in other aspects of the work. I am aiming to become entwined in an Ecology of Care that equitably shares the labour of living, working and creating in this current climate.

Access Riders I ensure that myself and my collaborators have the opportunity to provide access riders and stay in constant conversation regarding our needs. I am hoping to one day build an access rider that accurately reflects the changing nature of my needs.

Non-Linear Approaches A chrononormative (Freeman, 2010), approach to work does not suit me. When studying I became intrigued by the idea of Temporal Accessibility, which was first introduced to me through engagement with Jerome Ellis. This is the idea that not everyone has the same access to time as neurotypical, non-disabled people. My relationship to time is one that goes against the restraints and expectations of capitalism. I work within my own capacity, at my own pace and incorporate rest into my process. I take an approach that allows me to "follow the dopamine" and maintain motivation through the joy I find in the work. This way of working in combination with my ability to game-ify the process allows me to work with my own neurodivergence to a deadline and within a timeframe without comprising my needs.

Saying No Sometimes I can't do things. This might be caused by a change in situation or capacity. Saying No allows me to avoid burnout, and avoid disappointing myself and my collaborators. I aim to take on only what I can handle.

the inevitable collaboration between Cerulean and Bug

Projects to date include but are not limited to:

SIPPY - Ongoing

The Sensory Library - Well Creative Festival - October 2024