CerlsWaj

I kind of hate that it keeps happening but yea, getting let go thru a loophole.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the problem and if the problem with me is that when someone talks down to me I talk down back... I’m ok with it.

If someone tries to shove me around, I stop them.... I’m ok with it.

If it’s a choice between money and honor, I’m picking honor... I’m ok with it.

So below is the Email I had to send out yesterday, I’d like to say it’s the first time or the last time but with how the owner reacted hearing his side

NOTHING I HAD TO SAY MATTERED

It’s a long story that starts from where I’m currently Living in Austin, Tx and stretches all the way to Chicago, Il & Detroit, Mi. I tried to make it back North to see my family one last time but the assumptions got in the way. I made it as far as St Louie, Mo before I realized it’s no point. The trip back from there I’m currently trying to 1) Sort out in my head & 2) Write down as accurately as possible. More people have the missing pieces than I do and right now it’s apparent that I’m not going to be able to go West as soon as I’d like.

Although it was fun to have people tell me I was a Crack Smoking, Homeless, Post-Op Transgendered Woman...

Food for Thought and I just got an appetite back.

Small steps but I have more than just myself to consider.

I’m still here, when I can get Enough time to be able to work on things again. I’ll send an Update.

It’s been longer than I care to admit since I’ve made a semi-public post. Mostly because I wanted to learn more about more before speaking up or out about anything.

That still hasn’t changed, I have a near unfathomable amount to still learn but I have noticed that the people judging me aren’t. Recently I shared this page and my old original posts with people, they shared it with other people and for a lot they took my writing literally or as present day me.

Which it is not, I still love all the same things that I had in the past. Still feel as passionate about fictional characters, if not more, than real people. Not to say I have a loose grip on reality(which is the current theory). I am just apart of the fandom.

Fandom-  the state or condition of being a fan of someone or something, the fans of a particular person, team, fictional series, etc., regarded collectively as a community or subculture.

** literally picked up over a week later.

Most people won’t understand what that means. Speaking with a friend the other night I realized something I’ve been kicking around for a while.

Those that aren’t tied to fiction are typically people that have an easy time assimilating with reality.

Those that are tied to fiction tend to be people that have no connection to what “Reality” is not for a childish reason but for a more profound one. They see the flaws. Realize they have no way to fix them and instead of sinking into despair, find an escape.

Which is the moral of my story.

One of the smartest people I’ve ever known once pointed out my realest moment.

My senior year of high school I took psychology. First assignment we were given was to pick a song that describes us. I picked Cartel’s Runaway. Which is what I was. I ran when things got hard and started over. People pushed me out by making me feel like I was a freak, granted I am. But for the first time in a very long time I’m actually trying to work it out.

So working on getting my real life stable and then I’ll be back. Hopefully the writers block I’ve been suffering goes away and I can finish something.