⅃ЯIᎮ ᗡAƎᗡ ᎮͶIVI⅃

her hands on his shoulders made him still with a focus. he felt the tremble in her fingers, the sharp breath she took through her teeth as she stepped free of the last layer. it took everything in him not to flinch at the state of her body. it wasn’t just the injuries, but the evidence of what had been done to her. the handprints, the teeth marks, things no human being should ever have to wear like a second skin. and then, her voice dry and almost teasing, like she was trying to shift the weight in the room. 'shouldn’t you undress, too?' johnnie blinked, his gaze lifted to meet hers. close, yes, closer than he’d meant to be - but still steady. still careful. a quiet beat passed before he let out the faintest huff of breath through his nose, more a sound of disbelief than amusement. “i don’t mind getting wet,” he said simply, and it was true. “but-” he shifted back just enough to remove his cardigan, careful not to brush against her. “this will likely become more of a nuisance than what it's worth.”

ㅤㅤtemporarily stripped of her characteristic confidence in the face of what she thought was johnie's pity, sasha found she was only able to hold his gaze for a couple of seconds before having to look away. his eyes felt too sad, too kind, for her to look into for too long. so she just watched his hands, her nose scrunching with pain as she huffed out a nasal laugh when he started to remove his cardigan before smiling, " mmhm, wouldn't want to get grandpa's cardigan wet. " the faint smile decorating swollen petals faltered when she saw his arms. or rather, when she saw the tattoos covering his arms. up close, she could see how muscular they were, and how broad he looked in just his tank. and now she was just plain staring. she figured he'd have a couple tattoos, but nothing to this extreme; he looked like a map she desperately wanted to learn to read. inky orbs finally lift from his body to shyly meet his own unreadable ones, a dry smile curling at her lips when he reiterated his innocent intentions. " right—so i'll just wait until i'm clean to try and fuck you then. got it. " she tried to joke, but she feared that it fell flat, so she quickly busied herself by accepting his outstretched hand and stepping back into the warm downpour of water with both a smile and a groan. hands littered with day-old cuts starting to heal over lift to push coal black hair out from her eyes, tipping her head back as much as the pain allowed.

on paper, sasha's reasoning holds weight. except — gunwoo's not sure it's supposed to be like this. if it's supposed to feel so oppressive and controlling. he huffs a laugh, a sneer on his face. "oh, so you went through my phone because you love me? even though you know what i do for work. okay," gunwoo nods, jaw tense and disbelieving as his gaze flits over sasha's face. he can feel his blood pressure spiking. he shoots her a quizzical look, frowning. "no, i wouldn't leave you if you promised me you wouldn't do it again, if you trusted me, and kept your word," gunwoo insists, gnawing at the inside of his cheek. he had trusted her — up until now, that is, and he feels stupid for doing as much. "stop talking out of both sides of your mouth, sasha, you know that shit doesn't work on me. i'm not seeing anyone else, not seeing other women." sasha could take it or leave it, as it was the truth.

ㅤㅤ" you're overreacting, " she started, her voice having abandoned its previous sweetness in favour of a firmer tone, noticeably growing more and more defensive at the mention of other women. " why would you assume i was looking on your phone for women? you sound guilty as fuck. besides, as your girlfriend i think i have a right to go on your phone if i want to. not to read your shit, before you start whining. what if my phone was dead, or broken, or lost, and i wanted to... i don't know, check the fucking weather? browse the internet? check the score? " but sasha doesn't care for, nor watch, sports. she'd been scrolling through contacts, texts, calls, unable to read, but still trying to find something she didn't want to see.

ㅤㅤand then it dawned on her: " i just told you that i love you, and you didn't say it back. why didn't you say it back? because there is another woman? you're just like every other fucking guy on the planet. "

"You don't get it do you..? I'm saying no to finding out. You're gonna fuck everything up for me." Milo's words were like venom. He had been cornered, and pushed to the breaking point. He always fell back into Sasha whether it was her sweet words, or her pretty face. Sure she sucked his cock nice, but was that really enough all the drama?

He hadn't looked at another girl for two seconds, just saying hi, and she had flipped her lid at him. Her meek voice as he turns on his heel, and she utters that he's his best friend- it was heart breaking, and the thing that stopped him in his tracks.

ㅤㅤyou're gonna fuck everything up for me. he may as well have struck her across the face, rendering her momentarily speechless whilst she quietly teetered on the edge of her own breaking point. the only thing that stopped her from tipping over it was the way he was looking over his shoulder at her, handsomely dishevelled under the flickering streetlight overhead. he looked like he might cave, so she opted to bottle the rest of her anger up for now — saving the hurtful comment to memory, just in case.

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s my body is a slaughterhouse.

"You're so full of it." Milo laughs at Sasha. He had known her long, and well enough that he knew she didn't know what love was. She wanted to keep him tied to her every move. To stop him from finding happiness before she does.

ㅤㅤher mouth twitched when milo laughed in her face, finding herself torn between telling him to fuck off, or begging him to stay. she knew which would be the easier of the two options, but sasha had a tendency to stray from ease, as evidenced by their rocky relationship. " but—but we're on right now, right? there's not a fucking off switch, or whatever. not for me, anyways. in my head, even when we fight, we're together. " maybe especially when they fight.