* SHINE / BRIGHT.

❛  STARS ,  BLUE ..  what  have  we ..  what  have  i  been  doing  all  these  years ?  have ..   have  ALL  of  you  been  truly  suffering   because  of  ME ?  ❜

❛  SO -  what  kind  of  gem  ,  err ,  are  you  ?  ❜  she  had  taken  her  first  steps .  change  was  scary  to  her ,  at  first .  she  was  unsure  if  she  should  act  DISGUSTED ,   but  the  more  she  glanced  around  her ,  the  more  happier  everyone ..  seemed  to  be .  it  was  so  confusing ,  and  she  wasn’t  sure  how  to  react  at  first .  however ,  if  her  sisters ..  her  fellow  diamonds  could  do  the  same ,  then  so  could  she  move  on  and  at  least  try  and  adjust  to  this  new  life .

she’d  never  really  spoken  to  anyone  for  almost thousands of years .  so  the  lack  of  social skills  really  showed .

It’s clear that she, before she redeemed herself, was borderline extremely narcissistic, believing herself to be above everyone else. She had a fear of flaws. She was scared to be imperfect. She was SCARED of imperfection itself. She didn’t understand what flaws meant. She didn’t understand that flaws were okay to have. She thought that to be imperfection was a terrible thing to have. 

Which is why I believe that something must have happened to her to have her lead to this belief. And this is what I think happened: When Pink Diamond was born, she was afraid of her. Scared of her. Because she was different from the diamonds. And if she was different, what would that mean for Homeworld? White Diamond didn’t like the idea of change.

That is why she made sure that, although she would love her, she would ensure that she would never be the same or as equal as they were. She WANTED Pink Diamond to feel powerless, to doubt herself, to feel insecure. 

However, I don’t think she could have predicted how the Earth would have changed her. My guess is the White Diamond we knew in the episode eventually was drawn to this conclusion: