Untitled

The first beast has a masters degree????

Boyfriend just said “you’re craving an Asian land journey’ to me???

He said he wanted Chinese takeaway and also Indian takeaway, it was a perfectly reasonable observation to make

Boyfriend cubebaited me about the nine inch nails concert (I genuinely believed pinhead would be there)

I shouldve gone with the other hint word I was considering which was Ka’bah

He just did this straight off the dome

Boyfriend (autistic about prehistoric animals), reading aloud from a passage of Cicero: “nor can creatures of the land have come out of salt pools” Hahaha! Sucks to suck dude

Simply take the L, Cicero

(Ignoring my boyfriends editorial) another danger of having a boyfriend of my archetype is that when Chelsea dagger comes on I do have a full burlesque routine planned and you will only be warned with “catch my gloves”

Genuinely terrifying and so, so well written