Cel

I'm non-binary so I go by they/them (or if you'd like he/him)

17 years old (April 2nd)

Ao3 = CelestialEmo, Pinterest = Celestialnightbleh, Magma = celestial-bitch-art, will add more as time goes on

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I post art but you'll see a lot of rambling (mostly rambling)

I am also autistic (undiagnosed), swear a lot, vent a bit, and have a tendency to draw interesting stuff so you've been warned

If you don't wanna see me vent just block the "celestial vents" tag

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Fandom list so y'know what you're getting into (blue is mains):

I just realized my depression was probably worse when Juno broke up with me

Not only was my usual new year depression coming around the corner like it has for three years but literally when it gets worse I get broken up so then I get suicidal and wanna kill myself but the most I do is cut myself (everyone be grateful I've got dull ass knives that can't even cut steak much less break skin)

The depression already would've had me grabbing a knife but then suddenly I get a text from him saying "hey" blah blah blah I'm not giving details, which funnily enough was on call with my friend so yeah sobbing my eyes out (like we were even together for that long bro omg)

Of course it probably would've been better if my Mom actually let me talk instead of just "hey honey wanna play some games" no. I wanted to talk to my fucking MOTHER about the fact I got broken up with but sure let's just distract me and let me keep my feelings bottled up so it gets worse

My aunt also didn't help "you're taking it a lot better than how I handled my first break up. I got suicidal"

All of this and I didn't want to tell my therapist cause how do I talk to someone about this when my own family made it clear they don't want to hear me talk about this after a couple days and my only way to process anything was to draw how I was feeling. Two whole vent drawings that will never see the light of day ever.

Eventually I did tell my therapist and there's the safety plan and we're doing better now blah blah blah that was 4 ish months ago

Anyway I should end this with I don't blame Juno for my suicidal thoughts, nor will I ever blame him for his reason for breaking up with me (even if my Mom has made it very clear she doesn't like him now...), at most I blame my depression and myself for thinking I should ever date someone and for ruining a really good friendship