Celest

Lars’ walk to his desk is probably one of the furthest in the office, having the table towards the back corner. But he enjoys the people watching he gets to do discretely as he marks down what everyone’s up to, and is another way he gets to know anyone new. Not that he’d ever actually start a conversation with the newcomers, but just in case. Office parties and whatnot where he had to engage in conversation.

You’re one of the said newcomers, he’s noticed your desk a few times now, from plain and empty to colorful and decorated within the day of you moving into your desk. Not unlike his desk mate’s, decked out in action figures, yours had little trinkets and mini plushes lining the shelves where it wouldn’t block the use of them. He had grown quite fond of the pop of soft colors within the office. He kept track of how the plushies would move with time (and you no doubt knocking them over once in a while,) or any new additions to the collection. From the way you held onto a teddy bear, squished between you and the desk when you worked. How you would place it gently on the cushion that you added to the seat, against the frilly back cushion carefully, making sure it didn’t tip. And how it snuggled into the softness of the sweaters you wore, pushing back into you away from the hard desktop. He tried not to think about how the pink sweaters reminded him of Bianca. Actually, he tried not to think about how you reminded him of Bianca in general. He’s talked to you once or twice, you’ve offered a hello when you first came into the company, and another time while you were both in the break room getting coffee. Your demeanour, your softness, your smile, all reminded him of Bianca. Which is a stupid thought; he squeezed his eyes tightly together and banished the thought.

He comes back to the office after eating lunch with Karen at the diner beside his work - Karen insisted this morning that they needed to catch up, and how could he deny his sister-in-law? He greets the receptionist with a tight smile and a nod before heading in, taking a bit of a longer path than needed to take a glimpse at your desk. At your desk! Because he likes the color in the gray office, no other reason. You weren’t at your desk, maybe out on a lunch trip of your own, or to get water, so he stopped for a moment to take a real good look at everything, taking note of the tiny print that you added to the collection, pinned to the backing of the desk. And the bear was gone. Hmm. Maybe it went home for a wash?

He turned to go when he saw something hanging from the cubical wall.

Not very hard to notice your favourite teddy gone, and even harder to notice it hanging by a noose, fashioned out of a phone charger, hanging on the wall.

Lars yelped. Like seriously, out loud, yelped.

“Lars?” He hears your voice behind him, and turns immediately to look at you, failing to cover your view of the bear hanging by a cord.

You notice immediately, pushing Lars to step aside softly with a touch on his shoulder as you come closer to see, brows already tightly knit together.

“I-“ Lars begin to start but you’re quicker to cut him off, turning quickly to face him with an accusatory look.

“So you’re the one moving my shit.”

“Sorry- what?” Lars splutters, hands moving to the bear to unhook it from the edge of the wall, but you slap his hands away, doing it yourself. “Moving your stuff..?”

“Don’t think I don’t notice the way you’re moving my plushies into inappropriate positions and shit!” You’re holding the bear by the noose but you’re too irritated to notice, and Lars reaches a hand, floating around the swinging bear as you continue on your rant, the Teddy moving away from Lars’ paws. “I’ve had to move these two three times in the past week! And my-“ you reach up above the shelving unit on your tippy toes and pats around until you find a pocket watch that usually is on display around the desk, Lars remembers you fiddling with it a while back. “Why is this always up there? Hmm?” You question, holding it up to his face. “Your desk isn’t even this way!-“ uh oh, busted “-the only reason for you to walk this way, all the way here, is to hang my fucking teddy bear?! You sick fuck!” Past the pocket watch, he thinks he can see a glint of a tear welling up in your eyes.

He’s never heard you swear, not really, and especially not this much.

Oh you’re pissed off. And he doesn’t know what to do.

Lars waves his hands away a little, then a bit more wildly as he thinks of something to say, opens and closes his mouth around silent, half words for a moment before he reaches out again past the pocket watch to the bear again. Your hand flinches back a bit, but lets him take the bear anyways. “It wasn’t me…” he manages quietly, slowly moving to release the noose and smoothing down the way it made its fur ruffle.

At the exact same moment, Lars’ asshole desk mate decided to show his face. “Oh!” He exclaimed, with a wide smile. “Oh my god, you’re actually upset?”

You look between him and Lars, as he starts laughing his ass off, “oh my god I wish you could see your face right now,” he continues on, “you’re crying over this?” he laughs harder, and staggers away holding his stomach, his laughter hanging in the air as it fades away into the distance.

Lars stays frozen, bear halfway out of the noose. You still beside him, and he’s scared to look over.

After a good half minute, he musters the strength to turn, and is even more frightened of what he found.

Tears streaming down your face, as you clutch the watch still in your hands between that and yours sweater, scrunching up under your grasp. You choke back a tear and when you notice Lars’ look, turns away to sniffle. Unsure what to do, Lars removes the bear from the cord and turns to the desk, putting both objects down. He stares at the bear, then looks at you, then looks back to the bear.

What would… someone do…

Silently, he pushes four fingers on the bear’s chest. Not his whole palm, that would kill the bear in another way.

You sniffle again behind him, and he feels his heart break a little for you.

He continues the CPR, unsure if you’re watching.

You’re not, but eventually you do.

He continues still, until a giggle bubbles from your throat, through the tears.

He flinches just a little, looking up to meet your eyes, and continues the CPR, unsure what to do with himself.

what happens during CPR… right… breaths.

He listens, and deems the teddy in need of more, giving it a few breaths before continuing the compressions.

Your sobs die down, leaving a melody of little giggles, meshed with a few sniffles as you drag the office chair to sit on, watching as Lars continues the bit. “Sorry, Lars.”

“It’s okay.” He answers immediately, almost in a way that cuts off your words. You don’t mind.

“I was frustrated.”

“That’s okay.”

Silence stretches over the two of you for a moment, before he sits the bear up, and makes it cough a few times, the sound effect coming softly and most of all, adorably from him.

“I’m sorry for crying, that’s so stupid.” You watch with a hand twitching to come up to pick up the bear as he brings it up to smooth the fingerprints off its chest.

“It’s…” he realized that he’s said okay too many times, but he can’t find an alternative. “…okay.” He trails off and shoots an apologetic smile at you. That rips another giggle from you, hands going back to your legs as you bend over, choking out another sob, for some reason. That shouldn’t have made you emotional, but him being so gentle with the bear did. He calls out your name quietly, and you look up to his hands hovering shakily and uncertainly over your shoulder.

“Sorry, I cared a lot about this bear.” You finally, certainly, reach out for your bear, and Lars lets it go into your hands soundly. “I get a bit… lonely. In this town. Since I just moved.”

Lars watches as you lean back into the cushions of the chair, hugging the teddy close. “I get lonely.” You echo yourself quietly under your breath, a sort of realization.

He takes in a deep breath, you watch as his chest heaves, his eyes close tightly in a long blink and his lips draw into a tight line.

Oh no, you’ve overshared, and you’ve both offended him by accusing him of murdering your teddy and oversharing. Fuck.

“Do you-“ he starts, his voice immediately cracking and he takes another eyes closed-lips tight-heavy breath in. You sink further into your chair, fearing the worse. “Maybe want to get coffee, then?” Karen tells him to get out more anyways.

You take a deep breath yourself.

Oh.

“Or not-“ He immediately backtracks, his shoulders shooting up and he moves to turn away, “-I just-“

“-yeah!” You shoot up to place a hand around his wrist. He flinches like it burns but immediately relaxes into it, looking back at you. “I… I’d love that!”

“Oh.. okay!” He blinks hard again, before drawing an adorably tight lipped smile. “Okay!” He echoes, more sure of himself. “Okay.”