Cedar

"I mean, yeah I guess. But the people here acted like they worshiped her, so if that's not the top of the food chain I don't know what is." He said, smile lingering on his face. "Is there really any other reason to take astronomy? What else is there to even learn in astronomy?" He murmured though out loud, mostly to himself and just absentmindedly thinking outwardly. There was something so cute entertaining about Nico getting this mad. It wasn't an emotion that Cedar saw often, so whenever he saw the boy getting nippy, it amused him. Like when the tiniest little kitten hisses at you.

"I know your name." He said with an outward laugh. It was hard not to know who she was, he just knew there was no way in hell that she had any idea who he was. "Exactly, see I'm smarter than I look!" He said, smile beaming. He shifted his weight onto his heels and contemplated what the other was asking him, both felt like they could lead to a very entertaining night. "I think right now I'm leaning towards a massage, I just got done work after all." He smirked. "Though, I'd honestly take you up on both options." He murmured.

WHO: @cedarcarrington WHERE: The Kingsley Dining Hall WHEN: January 15

Cedar both found himself desperate to talk to Vanessa, to try to move past whatever awkward state is to come, while also desperately trying to stay busy enough to not cross paths with her since the party. He honestly had no idea where to even go from here.

Cedar perked up as his friend began to give his theories. "Oh, imagine that. They're trying to make us all not trust each other just for it to be them. That's sick." He spoke as he chewed his food. "I don't think there was evidence." The discussion went from casual to heavy quickly, Cedar almost felt drunk at the whirlwind of emotions that took over his nervous system. Cedar shook his head at the other, "Maybe not smart enough, but I do think they're jealous and bitter enough. Lizzie was like, top of the food chain." He huffed out, going to take another bite of his food but deciding it would probably be best to give it a second, let his body settle. "Ahhh... the bitchy sister- that is also a good guess. They walk around like they're gods gift to earth."

charlie nods solemnly, "of course she would have." the blonde allows a small smile to light up on her face for a moment. although, it would always make her feel uneasy hearing this perspective from one of her sister's loyal followers. followers whom only saw the side of lizzie that she'd carefully chosen, a different version of her for each circumstance. charlie's gifts from lizzie contained venom and blackmail, with a touch of sisterhood whenever she wanted something. charlie nods once, lips pursing together when the word taken falls from his lips. she looks away as he holds himself together, rocking back on her heels in brief discomfort. "were you at the party that night?" a hint of disbelief rolls off her tongue, although she's morbidly curious. in an exhale replying, "no," all by its lonesome in response to his question.

He felt his body tingling, a warmth trailing up him as Charlotte spoke. The thought of Lizzie actually enjoying his company was such an intoxicating thought. "I'm glad you think that, that's really comforting." He felt a sense of comfort in this conversation, he found himself letting his guard down and just really enjoying this conversation. Until the party was brought up. The hair on his skin stood up, and he could feel the goosebumps popping up beneath his clothing. "Oh, the party... yeah, I was." He had such weird feelings about the party in its entirety. He'd cheated on his girlfriend there after all, an issue that he found himself in purgatory on since he couldn't bring himself to bring it up to his girlfriend. "I think that party sucked. I don't even know why I went. I regret going." He said honestly. "You were there." He followed up. "I saw you, I remember, you looked nice."

"Yeah, like you hit the ball, there's math involved. The waiting for everyone else to hit their balls, you're standing in the sun. All that stuff takes patience." He knew he probably sounded like a babbling idiot. "No, actually. My dad wasn't into things like that. It just never really came up." He stood still as the other mentioning it to be a good way to get your head out of other things. As innocent as the phrase was, he found himself on edge ever since that blog came out. He suddenly felt as though he couldn't trust anyone and that everything had a deeper meaning. "Yeah, scholarship, obviously." He said with a playful smile. The girl Infront of him was beautiful, and her clothing screamed I have money and you don't. He knew that she had to know that he was beneath her in some regard. "Wait, for real? Or are you playing around?" He asked, honestly taken aback at the niceness the other was showing him. "That's like really kind of you. That would be really cool actually." He realized at this point he hadn't introduced himself or anything. "I'm Cedar by the way."

Cedar let off a little giggle towards his friend. "I'm not teasing you!" His heart thumped harder than usual and he couldn't seem to figure out what that could be. Something about Nico always brought out this fun, playful side of Cedar that always seemed to be nonexistent otherwise.

estela  laughed  at  that,  her  shoulders  even  bouncing  a  little.  “wise?  don’t  gas  me  up  like  that,  cedar,  i’m  already  insufferable.”  she  tucked  the  camera  into  her  jacket,  careful  with  it  like  it  was  something  fragile,  even  though  it  had  clearly  been  through  hell.  “honestly,  though?  i  think  you’re  giving  me  too  much  credit.  i  just  talk  a  lot  and  hope  something  profound  slips  out  by  accident.”  she  nudged  him  with  her  elbow,  gently.  playful.  “but  hey,  thanks  for  not,  like,  doing  the  whole  ‘she’s  in  a  better  place’  speech.  if  one  more  person  tells  me  she’s  watching  over  us,  i’m  gonna  throw  myself  into  the  fountain.”

He smiled and shook his head. "Far from insufferable." He found it so funny how someone that seemed so intelligent and amusing could also be as humble as Estela was coming across. "Well, I think everything I've heard you say has landed, so in my eyes you're profound and smart." He nudged her back and flashed a quick smile before shaking his head at her next comment. "Nah, I think that shit's lame. Lizzie had a good life. She had good friends. Better place would still be here with us, being her beautiful happy self, y'know?" He let out a soft chuckle at the thought of the other jumping into the fountain. "I could toss ya in there now, save you the time." He offered with a cheeky smile.

Cedar unconsciously touched his eyebrows as if to verify what she was talking about. He tried to relax his face and put on a smile as if that would wash everything away. He let off a genuine smirk as she pretended to fan the steam. "I do need a break." He said honestly. The question of the talk made him shift uncomfortably in his seat. He knew what she was probing at, but that didn't mean he couldn't play dumb just a little while longer. "Yeah, did you see that blog post?" He asked, shifting the attention to Lizzie instead. "Someone thinks someone at that party had something to do with her death." He rubbed his knuckles before facetiously smiling. "At least we know that we're clear. Since... y'know...." He raised his eyebrows playfully, yet awkwardly, finally giving into the conversation the other wanted to have.

"Long life, brother." He said back with an exhausted laugh. "Alright, it's on me this time." He spoke with a smile. He walked beside his best friend as they rounded towards the cafeteria. "Your hair looks magical today." He said with a smirk gesturing to the other. "I wish I had curls like that." He said, reaching out and lightly touching the other's hair. There was something so effortlessly beautiful about Nico and Cedar knew it. Despite being...straight...probably...Cedar found nothing wrong with acknowledging how pretty the other was, and giving him compliments. After all, boys hype each other up. Cedar ordered the food for them, and found a table. He plopped himself down before getting into the awkward of it all. "Did you see that blog? They're insinuating that one of us... y'know. Hurt Lizzie..." The words felt like razorblades in his mouth. "Or at least knows something about it."

"Oh- Cedar hesitated awkwardly. He wasn't sure if the girl was going to be offended. "Just like, the dudes in the polos and the patience... not me." He laughed awkwardly, hoping to fill the space of the awkward silence. "I was working. I was gonna head back to my dorm, but I haven't got anything else to do for the rest of the day really." He said with a shrug. A plan was something Cedar almost never had.

charlotte nods her head, slowly and subtly as she rolls the joint between her fingers. her gaze is fixed on him in quiet observation before speaking and it takes all of her self control in order to not laugh out loud when he calls lizzie damn near perfect. of course it's exactly the image lizzie had coined for herself. and it only proved to her that there was no way in hell lizzie knew who he was - as he had told her himself. "well, i am glad to hear you thought so highly of her," her voice is smooth. betraying none of the amusement just below the surface. "it's really too bad she didn't get a chance to get to know you. i think she would have loved you," she offers a polite smile as she makes her play. "that's very kind of you, cedar.. is this your first loss?"

Cedar was never good at reading people, it was something he struggled substantially with- so standing here in front of Charlotte, he couldn't help but wonder if she enjoyed his company or if she was just entertaining his condolences. "I did. I thought really highly of her." He nodded quietly. It took everything in him to mask the fact that his face wanted to light up at the other's comments. She would've loved me? The thought made him feel warm and buzzy. "Do you really think that?" The idea that she might've liked him too gave him comfort. "Yeah. I mean, we lost the odd family pet growing up, and I lost my grandpa to cancer, but I was like three, I don't really remember it." He hesitated before continuing to speak. "No one's ever been... taken." He couldn't bring himself to say the word. "Is..." He hesitated again, this time choking back the tears that were sitting at the surface, begging to be let out. "Is it your first loss?" He wiped at his nose with his sleeve.

it was amusing to charlie, thinking that someone could put her sister on such a high pedestal. admiration, which was really just delusion in disguise. and he didn't need to know that but she couldn't help the sly smirk that coated her lips. she inhales the joint as a weak attempt to hide it. "did she put you on retainer for all this praise, or are you being sarcastic with me now?" her tone is mostly playful, albeit slightly snarky - her goal was not to offend the man but she wouldn't go out of her way not to. charlie pours grief into her answer on purpose, "we were like peas in a pod, inseparable. there wasn't anyone who knew me better than her."

Cedar's face turned slightly into that of confusion. "Me?" He asked with a bit of a emotionless chuckle. "Nah, she knew nothing about me. No retainer. I don't think she even cared about my existence." He let out another chuckle, this one even drier than the prior. "No sarcasm ma'am." He smirked. "Again, I just thought she was really cool. I don't think there's such thing as a perfect person, but she had to have been close, y'know?" He nodded with a sympathetic smile as the girl explained her relationship with Lizzie. "I'm so sorry man. It's gotta be so hard." He hesitated looking for the right words, knowing that he'd realistically never find them. "Do you have a lot of support? I'm sure you're overflowing with friends, but I'm always here. If you need."

estela  let  out  a  soft  snort  at  his  question,  but  she  didn’t  answer  it.  not  directly,  anyway.  what  was  there  to  say?  the  complicated  truth  that  lizzie  was  loved  and  hated  by  almost  everyone  she  knew.  “barely  knowing  someone  doesn’t  mean  it  doesn’t  hit,”  she  said  instead,  voice  quieter  now.  “grief’s  weird  like  that.  doesn’t  really  ask  for  permission.”  she  scrolled  past  another  clip,  thumb  hovering  over  the  delete  button,  then  pulling  back.  not  yet.  “i’m…”  estela  started,  then  shrugged,  “functional,  i  guess.  not  really  sure  what  else  we’re  supposed  to  be  right  now.”

Cedar offered a genuine smile at the girl's statement. He'd honestly never even considered that. "Wow." He hesitated and nodded. "You're wise." He watched as the girl went to delete things off her phone and offered a quizzical look. He didn't outright ask why she was getting rid of things, but his face definitely did. "Yeah, that's fair. If functional is all you can manage, then be functional. I don't think anyone can expect you to be okay, or happy.

♡ ˚ ﹔ closed starter ; @cedarcarrington ♡ ˚ ﹔ location ; anywhere.

Cedar turned towards the familiar voice, looking up from his textbook, coffee in hand. "Hmm?" He asked, blinking away the fuzziness in his head. "I'm alright." He said once he processed what Juliana had asked. That was a blatant lie, but it felt better than deep diving into all the crazy things that seemingly continue to happen in this life. "Oh, you know me that well, huh?" he asked, unable to stop himself from the genuine smile that began to creep across his face. "I am thinking too hard. There must be steam coming out of my ears, no?" He pretended to wave away the steam in the air. "I'm just deep into work." He said facetiously pointing to the books on the table. "Why, you got something you wanna talk about?" He pressed, knowing there definitely was things the two should be talking about, patting the chair beside him, motioning for her to sit down with him.