UltimateBitchChan

Mahito

TW: a little NSFW, yandere, dubcon/noncon, Mahito being a meanie

gn reader

Thinking about Mahito reading you his Complete Guide to Japanese Apparitions even though ghost stories terrify you :(

You’re curled sideways on his lap, head against his bicep – often twisting yourself into his chest to seek comfort, as though turning away from the pages will somehow make him stop reading. He doesn’t.

He just tips his head down and begins whispering the words instead – sweet and eerily. Nose rubbing your hairline while puffing the scary tales against your face where you try hiding, muffling out tiny whimpers with tiny fists clinging to his tunic.

He chuckles, peacefully flipping the page onto the next. “Shuten-dōji...” He purrs. “The dreaded king of the Oni. Six meters tall with a red face and short disheveled red hair, five horns, and fifteen eyes.” 

You squirm with a whimper, bowing your head and rubbing your face into his chest, and he licks his teeth with a laugh – feeling your tears soak through the fabric against his skin.

“Shuten Dōji and his gang rampaged through Kyoto a thousand years ago, capturing noble virgins, drinking their blood, and eating their organs raw after having their way with them-”

“Mahito~” You cry, pulling his shirt while begging. “Please read about the kinder ones…” Looking up at him with teary eyes and a quivering pout.

“Don’t be silly~ kind apparitions are boring.” He murmurs, amused by your tiny shivers, giving your hip a firm squeeze where he holds you snug against him. “Besides, Shuten Dōji only went for virgins, so you have nothing to worry about~” He dismissed.

and another one is like ”wait so you’re saying humans don’t have stripes.”

”actually they do, but the stripes are invisible. There’s genetic code that’d give them stripes but they’re just the same colour as the rest of the skin. So the visible stripes are not real stripes and the real stripes are invisible.”

I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THOUGHT PROCESS

BECAUSE WE DO APPARENTLY

SO ITS ACTUALLY A VERY DISTRESSED "MY CAT THINKS I KNOW I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!"

I remember reading somehwre the human eye can see more shades of green than any other colour. I just googled it and the human eye can see 10 Million different shades of green.

So human could see stripes and patterns on, say, a reptillian race who maybe can’t see as many colours as we do, and think they’re just one boring shade of green.

Human: We have stripes?! I wish I could see them. I hope they look like yours.

Reptile Alien: Wait, I HAVE STRIPES!

We aren't rising from the dead. We never laid to rest.

@miss-gardner​ and I made a little fan ‘game’ for Devil’s Candy.

I'm just gonna kick that fake-ass moral pedestal out from under you right now.

For someone who calls the ship 'disgusting', you sure have made it clear how much you actually enjoy my smut-laden Sebaciel stories.

You bookmarked AND gave me kudos on Butterfly with a Broken Wing, as well as a few other Sebaciel fics.

You don't get to come into this fandom and imply that the people who are the literal backbone of this place don't have the right to get angry when you try to bully us- especially when you're not-so-secretively consuming the very content that you pretend to abhor.

Also keep in mind that many of us who create Sebaciel content are the same ones who produce your favorite fics for rarepairs and the ships you DO like.

Like Sebastian x Bard?

Me, motherfucker.

Bard x Lau?

Also me.

Vincent x Diedrich?

Sebastian x Claude?

Sebastian x Wolfram?

And this is just to name a few.

Let me be the first to tell you that you DON'T have more of a right to be here than the rest of us. You're not fucking special. You're not some golden example of morality for shrieking into the void about how much you hate certain ships or the people who like those ships.

There is no right or wrong way to enjoy fictional content.

But there is a wrong way to behave in the fandom, and you are a glaring, grossly hypocritical example of it.

But yes, every anti who’s ever attacked me for the minimal sebaciel content I’ve written or that I refuse to back down on and join their bullshit loses access to the rarepair content that I write that I know they like.

It’s like every anti who changed their bios from “proship dni” to something else so their fave japanese artists wouldn’t block them.

Antis want to appear holy and moral and. Better but they don’t want to give up good content. Fucking hypocrites.

About half of the subs on my sebagni (which is fairly unproblematic) story on AO3 are hidden, and I suspect most of those are antis who are afraid their friends might see that they liked a story by a gross proshipper.

So 12-foot-tall Grandma was actually a star basketball player back in the 70s for a very brief period of time– her career as a professional athlete only lasted between October and December of 1972.

The reason for this was because John Basketball, the inventor of the sport, realized that the WNBA had not yet been established, so he asked her to please sit out until the Basketball Elders got a chance to make a space in the sport for women. Grandma thought this was pretty bullshit, but she decided to leave the NBA anyway because nobody could keep up with her balling, and the sport had lost its novelty.

After she settled down in her new-but-less-exciting career as an astronaut, she met Pop-pop on the moon. It turns out that he had been a big fan of her and had recorded all her matches on U-matic, and had fallen in love with the sport.

Anyway things happened, the two fell in love and got married, and Grandma and Pop-pop had a beautiful family together. She became especially close with one of her granddaughters, Ballin’ Jessie, who inherited her propensity for basketball. The two would often dunk hoops with each other, and developed trash-talk as their love language.

Pop-pop also had an interest in the sport, but his height had made it difficult for him to keep up with the others. In fact, he had actually lost about a foot in height as a result of being compressed by Earth’s stronger gravitational pull. Despite this, Pop-pop was never really bothered by this because of his exceptional love for Grandma, who was always more than happy to lend him a helping hand. 

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism