Piecing It Together
One
Soft belly and swollen eyes. He kissed the dimple in my left cheek, left me sitting on our bottom step. I reached for the laces on my shoes, pulled them until they became undone. I picked up a toy car, laying on itās side and pushed it into my pocket. My fingers stayed there until my fingertips became cold.Ā
Two
It was colder than we predicted but his smile kept my shivering on the inside, people mistook it for nervousness. I didnāt feel the ache in the arch of my feet until the evening but I stood beside him on marble steps and smiled into lenses. We sat at a table waiting for our dinner, music played, feet tapped, bodies swayed. He whispered into my ear and stole kisses while our parents chatted. He touched the lace of my dress, told me I looked beautiful.Ā
Three
I was making dinner, waiting for him to come home. Waiting for him toĀ dance in front of me, sing me a song about his day, wrap his arms around me, tell me that he was proud of me. But I cut my finger, saw blood and stopped breathing. He found me on the kitchen floor.Ā
Four
I sat on the bathroom floor staring at a stick that told us lies about our future. We didnāt know that then. I called him, my voice too high to hide my excitement. He stared at my hands, kneeled beside him and sobbed a little. He asked if it were true, I nodded and exhaled. We skipped dinner and climbed into bed, made plans, shared stories. We decided to tell his Mother first, tell my family later. It was three in the morning before sleep stole our voices. I tip toed to the kitchen, ate cold left overs straight from the fridge and grinned.Ā
Five
I walked to her office this time. He offered to drop me there but it reminded me of school, when my dad would open the car door and escort me to the playground. I sat in her office, looked at the paintings on her wall. She asked about my morning, she smiled at my need to come alone, think she congratulated me. I nodded and watched her pen dance on that page. She sat beside her desk, not behind it and I noticed her shoes, how clean they were. Howās things going now, she asked, fine I said and she believed me.Ā
Six
He said it was something I ate maybe but this pain was new. Maybe heās turning or something, he didnāt say that to my face, kept his eyes on the computer screen. My stomach ached, thought I needed to pee. I screamed from the bathroom, the pitch of my voice different this time. He came to the door, saw the colour of my hands. He ran for the phone ⦠no, no six months, nearly seven ⦠her first, this is our first ⦠number 47 ⦠a towel? Yes ⦠ok ⦠please hurry.Ā
Seven
The house was hot, it suffocated me, dishes sat in the sink, clothes on the bedroom floor. I walked past the bedroom, the spare one. A hurricane played in here, tore pictures from the wall, pulled the cot apart and made a hole, the size of his fist in the wall. I stepped on a stuffed toy but it didnāt make a sound. I sat on the carpet, held an empty album in my hand and understood the toy car that sat alone on the stairs.Ā
Eight
āGive me a son as smart as you and a daughter who looks just like you - thats all I ask for.ā
āYouāll have to marry me first.āĀ
āYou ready for that?ā I exhaled
āYes, I think I am.āĀ














