cdc

its been a long time since i wrote on here. i hope you see this one day. I love you and ill always be here when you need me but id like to move on. sorry if I seem cold and distant but its just a part of moving on with my life. I've compared everyone i met with you and you'd always come on top thats why i can't find  a way to be happy. but its time for me to stop and learn to love someone else. I've waited many years for your acceptance again and now all i can do in this relationship is to leave it in the past. i love you glow and ill miss everything that we had

Fuck man I want to be with you hut everything's so fucked up now. It makes me so sad that all I want to do is talk to you or call you but I have to tell myself that I can't. If your with someone now cool I get it just tell me if you like him and I'll understand. But fuck why does it have to be like this.

You really did ruin me. Im to scarred to fall in love.

i love seeing you randomly. i love just turning around and there you are. seeing your unexpected smile, hearing your high pitched voice and seeing you go about your business. i love seeing us move on from each other. it brings warmth to my heart to see us being so kind and not always fighting. i love the way we are. i love that theres no more tension no more chains no more hate. 

I guess you can say I've moved on. Feels good not to wonder what she's doing all the time or check my phone for anything new. I finally feel like I let go. Something tells me this time, I'll be happy. This summer will be a fun one.

I don't need you to be all dressed up or have make up on to make me think you're beautiful. I think I'm so reluctant to let go is because I'm afraid that a good thing like you only comes once in a life time.

everytime we fight i feel like we’ve broken up all over again. we fight about the same things we fought about a year ago. we have a tendency to forgive eachother but what the good of that if next week we fight all over again. it saddens me that we’ve got here. i wish we can finally just make up and stay that way without ignoring eachother. i love you and all i want is the best for you. but our relationship is sickening and ruins us.

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your big, dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

but she will always have my heart. no matter what no matter how long, you will always have a place in my heart.

I want a fresh new start. I want one more chance and a better relationship. It's time for me to start loving again. Its time for me to be a better man.

i can never forget what my mom taught me. she noticed me crying in my room and she asked me "would life be the same without her" 'no' she replied "so stop crying, if she feels the same way; she'll come back" no one could have said it any better. 

bye