parasociality fandom

one of the biggest reasons why i support wilbur is because i believe that looking at the communities influencers have fostered is a very good luck at what kind of person the influencer is. if someones community is extremely toxic, theres probably a good reason for that, same if someones community is very kind.

ive been in sss and wss at several different points in the past, but the sss community has always felt very mean and toxic. constantly harassing and "exposing" anyone they disagree with, forcing people out of their community for making any slight mistakes, immediately jumping to violently shaming peoples appearances and (often visibly neurodivergent) mannerisms instead of any genuine criticisms... when i was in the sss community, i had a constant fear that if i did or said anything slightly wrong then i would be cut off by all the people who claimed to be my friends.

this even extended to things outside of just wilbur soot discourse - i watched someone get harassed and sent death threats because they had a cdream fictive in their system and the person they were dating had a ctommy fictive. the wss community, however, is much kinder and more respectful about everything. in the sss community i found myself looking around and wondering why everyone was so horrible. it isnt just a coincidence that the sss community is far more violent and horrible to people - when the person youre blindly supporting encourages (or at the very least refuses to stop) harassment, its going to lead to everyone in your community encouraging and glorifying it too.

another thing is that when i was in the sss community, even then there was just... barely any proof? it was all just "believe women", "listen to victims", "guilty until proven innocent", etc. because of her status as a white cis woman, shes perceived as the ultimate victim who could never do anything wrong and must always be the one getting hurt. it really reminds me of women ive known in the past, primarily radical feminists - not saying shes a radfem, of course, but the idea of cis white women always being victims in every situation and being the only ones capable of being victims comes from those kinds of ideologies. shes using her perceived status as a weak, innocent woman who cant handle herself and needs to be protected at all costs in order to incite harassment against everyone who disagrees with her. its the same thing as white cis women weaponizing their upsetness against any other vulnerable minority (yes, wilbur is a minority, look me in the eyes when i tell you he is suffering from a hell of a lot of mental illness).

and there isnt really much proof to go off of besides her word, and other seemingly trustworthy people saying "yes she must be correct". multiple people saying "i support her" does not count as evidence, nor does saying "this happened just trust me". shes stated before that she doesnt have any evidence for a lot of the claims shes made (the reasoning they give for this has changed a lot from what i can tell, which is... odd in its own right). yes of course listen to people and take what they say into account, but also if someone has no evidence for what they say then dont just believe them because everyone else does?

when i was in the sss community it was said over and over that theres "so much evidence" of all of shelbys claims. people mentioned that there are pictures proving it, screenshots from videos and conversations and selfies. none of this was ever shown to me even when i asked - and i would always have to disguise my requests for evidence behind "needing to send wilbur supporters evidence" so people wouldnt attack me over it, which did happen a couple times. i would always get the same exact response: its easy to find, theres evidence everywhere, just look it up. when i looked it up, and still whenever i look it up, the evidence is spotty at best and nonexistent at worst. not only is there barely any evidence, but pictures of bite marks or bruises just... doesnt prove anything wilbur hasnt confirmed himself? he said he bit her but thought it was consensual, and shelby has gone back and forth on whether or not it was consensual or not. bruises also dont automatically mean someone is abusing you. i dont know, them having a bruise could just mean they tripped and fell or something. it doesnt usually mean something horrendous is happening - and without evidence of anything bad actually happening besides her word on it, then i will assume it really wasnt that bad.

to finally wrap this up, do i think wilbur has made mistakes? yes absolutely. everyone has made mistakes. weve all fucked up and hurt people before - dont try to say youve never accidentally hurt anyone in your entire life. let he who is without sin cast the first stone etc etc. but everyone is capable of growing and changing from mistakes theyve made. wilbur is doing his best to recover from an absolutely awful time in his life, and harassing him and constantly making vile and ableist remarks is not going to help anything. especially when most of the accusations made against him have no proof at all.