MAN OF STEEL

       “ruthless. perhaps next time you’ll ask before attempting to help. just don’t get discouraged. i’d hate for some little old lady to be stuck on the side of the road because all the good people gave up after being whacked with a cane once upon a time.”

“Discouraged? No. Frightened? Maybe a little. Of course I won’t abandon all the little old ladies in need, but I do think it would be smart to develop an evacuation plan for next time, you know, to avoid the beatings.”

‘ maybe get out of my BUSINESS ? what are you going to do– spank me ? ‘

“It’s my business too when you’re wandering around in public complaining about the noise. And a spanking wasn’t exactly what I was going for... more of a slap on the wrist.”

“I can’t agree more with that. I guess you should take the hint and maybe be a little more selfish. Or she probably thought you were going to steal her purse.”

“Be more selfish? I’m not quite sure that was the lesson I was supposed to take out of it. Maybe just avoiding old women altogether unless absolutely necessary.”

Well, can’t you see? I don’t have faith in old people. They’re bad news.

And who are you to judge who is bad news and who isn’t?

               “ ha ha, ” connor laughed, his voice dripping with sarcasm.                                                                     “ did that old lady know you were the man of steel,                                                                 or did she think you were just some hick off the streets? ”

“Do I look like a hick to you? No. She probably just had a crippling fear of impeccably tall, good-looking men. That’s the only logical explanation.” 

“Haven’t you heard? Chaos City is filled with sadists and masochists galore. You and I are the odd ones out, apparently. Still, I’d take that over being a one woman show. Less pressure on me,” she stressed, the playful smile never fully falling from her face. “Don’t joke about medical conditions. I’m not fully equipped to handle these kind of situations. Tiny black dots in the corner of your vision? It sounds like you’ve got eye floaters.”

“I guess I didn’t get the memo, which is odd considering I work for the newspaper. Usually I’m the first to hear about these things. And please,” he joked, rolling his eyes, “how do you expect me not to discuss my medical conditions with you when a second later you diagnose me? I’ve never even heard of ‘eye floaters’ before.”

“Serves you right. You should know better than to mess with the elderly.”

“You’re right. What was I thinking? Helping an old lady? That has ‘danger’ written all over it.”

         “ hell? now don’t you be silly, the pain we endure definitely pays off from all the fun we have. i wouldn’t expect you to understand though, you look like the happy go lucky guy that will die at eighty after living a boring life. no offense, but your grandkids won’t be all that excited to listen stories about your life. — mmm, i’ll do just that, don’t worry. ”

“Look, unless you’re reading that out of a crystal ball or something, your predictions don’t really mean shit. Plus if I were to, hypothetically, take part in that oh-so-fun life you describe, I probably wouldn’t even live to see eighty. I’d be dead after my first crack high.”

‘ you deserve a reward for figuring out how to SHOUT. ‘

“If we’re playing on those terms, then you deserve a time-out for drinking more than you could handle. Maybe go a little easier on the liquor next time?” 

“C’mon man, the song is humiliating.”

“As humiliating as it is, I just paid to get my food delivered and I won’t be able to eat said food unless you sing the song. Plus, you remind me of my little brother and messing with you has already proven to be quite entertaining.” 

jinx: honestly considering the ppl i've had over in the past there's no way you're the worst

jinx: srry that sounds rlly sketchy but i'll buy you a soda too ;)

clark: ok ya the soda just sealed the deal. i'm coming over now no question