Call me Berry

You’ve been trying to figure Lee Know out for eight months. Eight months of group dinners where he laughs until he cries at Hyunjin’s dumb impressions. Eight months of late-night convenience store runs where he teases Changbin about his protein shakes and ruffles Jeongin’s hair like a big brother. Eight months of him being warm and funny and normal with every single one of your friends… and ice-cold to you.

He doesn’t even look at you most days.

You’ll walk into the practice room and he’ll nod once, tight, polite, like you’re a staff member he barely knows, then turn back to whoever he was talking to. If you try to joke with him, he gives you the shortest answers possible. If you sit next to him on the couch during movie nights, he suddenly remembers he needs water and moves to the floor. Your friends have noticed. They tease you about it sometimes, but you always laugh it off.

Because the truth is too embarrassing.

You like him. A lot. More than you should, considering he treats you like you’re contagious.

You tell yourself it’s fine. You’re friends with half of Stray Kids; you’re used to the idol world’s weird boundaries. Maybe he just doesn’t like you. Maybe he thinks you’re annoying. You try to stop caring.

The charity gala is supposed to be low-pressure. Black tie, open bar, a bunch of idols and actors raising money for music education. Your best friend from another group, Niki from a newer boy group who’s been in your circle forever, asked if you’d go with him as a plus-one. “Platonic date,” he’d grinned. “I hate walking red carpets alone.” You said yes because the alternative was sitting at home replaying every cold shoulder Lee Know had ever given you.

You spot Stray Kids the second you step into the ballroom. They’re impossible to miss, loud, bright, taking up half a table near the stage. Lee Know is already there, sleeves rolled up, laughing at something a woman next to him is saying. She’s gorgeous, long dark hair, elegant hanbok-style dress, one of those rising actresses who just landed a big drama. Her hand brushes his arm when she talks. He doesn’t pull away. He leans in, actually smiles that soft, crooked smile he almost never lets the cameras catch, and says something that makes her throw her head back and laugh.

Your stomach twists so hard you feel sick.

Niki notices. “You good?”

“Yeah,” you lie, forcing a smile. “Just… thirsty.”

You last forty-three minutes.

Every time you glance over, Lee Know is still talking to her. Still relaxed. Still happy. The jealousy burns hotter than it has any right to, because he’s not yours. He’s never been yours. He’s barely even polite to you.

You tell Niki you’re not feeling well, hug him goodbye, and slip toward the side exit before anyone else can stop you. The hallway is quieter, but the second you push open the door to the back parking lot, cameras flash like fireworks.

Paparazzi. Of course. They always camp the side exits at these things.

“Over here!”

“Who are you with tonight?”

“Is it true you’re dating Niki?”

They surge forward, lenses inches from your face. You try to keep your head down, one hand shielding your eyes, the other clutching your dress so you don’t trip in your heels. Your heart is hammering. You just want to get to the car the venue promised would be waiting.

A firm hand grabs your elbow and yanks you sideways.

You stumble, but the grip is steady, guiding you through a narrow service door you hadn’t even noticed. The noise cuts off instantly. It’s a dimly lit stairwell, concrete and quiet.

You look up. Lee Know.

He’s breathing hard, like he ran after you. His tie is loosened, hair a little messy from the chaos outside. For the first time in months he’s looking straight at you, really looking, and his eyes are wide with something that looks like panic.

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice low. “They didn’t touch you, right?”

You yank your arm free.

The jealousy, the exhaustion, the eight months of silence, all of it explodes at once.

“No,” you snap. “I’m not okay. What the hell was that?”

He blinks. “I was trying to help..”

“Not that!” Your voice cracks. “All of it. You’ve spent months pretending I don’t exist. You talk to my friends like they’re family, you laugh with them, you joke with them, but me? I get one-word answers and you won’t even sit next to me on the damn couch. And tonight you’re in there flirting with some actress like it’s the easiest thing in the world while I’ve been over here feeling like I did something wrong just by existing near you!”

He opens his mouth, but you’re not done.

“I liked you, okay? I like you. And I know that’s stupid because clearly you can’t stand me, but I still liked you anyway. And seeing you with her tonight just… I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t sit there and watch you be warm and funny with everyone except me. So I tried to leave. And now you’re here playing hero like you give a shit. I don’t need it. I don’t need you.”

Your chest is heaving. Tears are burning behind your eyes but you refuse to let them fall.

“I never want to see you again,” you whisper. “Just… leave me alone.”

You shove past him, shoulder the door open, and disappear into the night before he can say a word.

It’s almost midnight the next night when your doorbell rings.

You’re in sweats, hair in a messy bun, eyes puffy from crying in the shower earlier. You almost don’t answer. But it rings again, three sharp times, and something in your gut tells you who it is.

Lee Know is standing on your doorstep in a black hoodie and sweats, hood up like he’s trying not to be recognized. His face is pale. He looks like he hasn’t slept.

You freeze.

He doesn’t wait for an invitation. He steps inside, closes the door behind him, and just… blurts it out.

“I like you.”

The words hang there, raw and clumsy.

You stare at him.

“I’ve liked you for months,” he continues, voice cracking a little. “Since that stupid barbecue at Chan’s place when you burned the pork belly and laughed about it like it was the funniest thing that had ever happened. I liked you so much it scared the shit out of me. And I knew if I let myself get close, if anyone saw how I looked at you, the rumors would start. Dating scandals. Dispatch. Your career, my group, everything could blow up. So I thought… if I stayed cold, if I kept distance, I could protect you. Protect us. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

He laughs, but it’s broken.

“Turns out I’m an idiot. I hurt you instead. Every time I ignored you it killed me. Every time I moved away on the couch I wanted to sit right next to you and never leave. And last night, seeing you walk out with Niki, then watching you try to leave because of me… I couldn’t breathe. When those cameras swarmed you I just… I ran. I didn’t think. I just needed you safe.”

He takes a shaky breath, eyes glassy.

“I can’t stand the thought of you never wanting to see me again. I can’t. So I’m here. Telling you everything. I like you. I’m sorry I was cold. I’m sorry I made you feel like you didn’t matter when you’re the only person who’s ever made me feel like this. If you want me to leave, I will. But please… don’t say you never want to see me again. I don’t think I can handle that.”

The hallway light buzzes softly above you. Your heart is pounding so hard you can hear it in your ears.

You swallow.

“You’re really stupid, you know that?”

He nods, small and miserable.

“Yeah. I know.”

You step forward and poke his chest, hard.

“Next time you like someone,” you say, voice wobbling, “just tell them. Don’t freeze them out for eight months, Lee Know.”

A tiny, relieved smile breaks across his face. His eyes are shining.

“Next time?” he echoes, hopeful.

You grab the front of his hoodie and pull him down until his forehead rests against yours.

“This time,” you whisper. “Don’t screw it up again.”

His hands come up to cradle your face like he’s afraid you’ll vanish. His thumbs brush your cheeks, gentle in a way you’ve never felt from him before.

“I won’t,” he breathes. “I promise.”