"it's just growing pains" -> "you're too young for that to hurt that bad" -> "you just need to get in better shape" -> "welcome to being old, everyone is in pain"

It's not like I like you or anything! P-Pendejo!

i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,

there's an old anne rice interview circulating on twitter rn that i remember reading ages ago where she makes a pretty salient point about how submissive men who have bdsm fantasies etc will go to a sex worker and basically order the ala carte version of their fantasy to be performed in real life but women don't really have that same option and certainly not at the same point of availability so they read her horny books instead. and honestly that argument has been in the back of my mind every time people get on their high horses about the popularity of booktok romantasy novels or heated rivalry or whatever the "women are horny and we're upset about that" cultural property du jour is ever since. women, especially straight women, have so few outlets for their sexual desires, especially if they have a partner who doesn't share them, and i will never understand why "someone ELSE'S private sexual fantasy makes me uncomfortable and therefore they should not be allowed to engage with it, even if i am in no way being affected by it or even aware of it at all" is such a popular party line among allegedly progressive young people.

Queer joy detected!

One time I was at the bookstore looking for some graphic novels for my kiddo and I couldn't find where in the darn place they'd hid them, so I politely asked an employee where to find them. Said employee had a buzz cut and "they/them" on their name tag. They escorted me to the graphic novels and started recommending some to me, and at one point asked me if the kid I was shopping for was a boy or a girl. I smiled and said they were nonbinary, and the employee's entire body lit up. I hope it made the employee's day as much as it made mine.

If you become friends with someone they might offer you shelter or sources of protein

no spoilers, but the new mandolin and grogu movie had both a wilheim scream and a power point ass screenwipe, so that's how we know it's a true Star Wars film