nothing but drama

I don’t want to assume yet because it still feels too early to be sure—but you know what, I hope it’s you. You're really my ideal type. You're the exact physical type I’ve always prayed for. But more than that, you’ve shown me your personality: you’re a true gentleman, kind, God-fearing, and family-oriented.

I believe in second chances, but I’m also scared. There are so many possible reasons why this might not work. We’re in a long-distance setup. Ang layo natin sa isa't isa, and you’re already processing your US visa, while I’m here, still loving my work in a government hospital. How will it work when our paths seem so different? We have completely different goals and we're in completely different places.

I’m scared for our future. I have these thoughts—what if you’re the one who leaves? What if maiwan nanaman kita? What if one of us ends up getting really hurt? These scenarios play in my head, even though we’re not even officially together yet. Reality seems so far from my dreams sometimes, and it makes me lose hope in love. But I put my trust in God. I hold on to Him, trusting Him and putting Him at the center of this relationship—even if it's were not yet together pa—because when He’s at the center, nawawala yung takot ko. 

Did you know that I already imagined you as my future? I saw myself walking down the aisle toward you, standing in front of the altar, while the song Synesthesia by Mayonnaise is playing. 

I'm really falling in love with you—deeper and deeper every day. This time, it’s different, hindi ganto yung nafeel ko nung college days natin. I’ve come to know you on a deeper level, and as I get to know you more, my feelings grow even stronger. You give me peace of mind. I know it might be too early again, but I’m not the type to rush into things. I’m letting destiny work its way, trusting in the perfect timing.

I’m willing to wait—for that time when I can finally say, proudly and wholeheartedly, that you are my boyfriend and the person I want to grow old with. 

That’s the power of waiting—not rushing, not forcing anything. Just patiently hoping, trusting, and believing.

I can’t fully explain what I’m feeling, but I know one thing for sure—I’m incredibly thankful to God for giving me this second chance to meet you again, and to like you even more this time around.

The art of waiting—that’s real love. Because when you truly love someone and want to be with them forever, you’ll wait. No matter how long it takes. You just need to wait for the right time when you and I are meant to be together again.

April 4, 2025 14:43

Edited May 19, 2025 14:58

and.. it’s been a year. We never became “us” because I was right from the start… I was only going to hurt you again, and probably even more this time. Maybe we were never really meant for each other the way we wanted to be. Maybe we were just two people who almost happened. You will always be my TOTGA, and maybe that’s all we’re ever going to be. And honestly, I’m okay with that now. Even if you never come back. Our story ends here.