CAVALCADE

when are you going to admit that you don't actually hate me and that you only put up that facade and pushed me farther away because you felt bad for cutting me out of your life in the first place

I hate always being the one to text first, the one left on read, the one being left out. people like me when I'm around but they wouldn't bother to make sure I'm there, they wouldn't go out of their way, it seems

maybe one day I'll find someone who loves my soft and my sweet and my persistence

I choose me, every single day, but I would be lying if I said there weren't nights where I lie awake ripping myself apart, wondering what I did wrong to make you feel that way about me, wondering what I could have done differently

tbh the only people who ever comment on my weight are people who are insecure about their own buuuuuut that's none of my business.... like, don't try to make me feel like I should be insecure about the fact I can't help being underweight because I'm really not insecure about it. I know you're just projecting....

of course it still hurts when I think about it too much. it's not something that I look back on and think, "wow, that was a fun time." it doesn't hurt as much as it did but it still wasn't a fond memory

it only hurts when I think about it so I try to not think about it but everything reminds me of you

maybe it wasn't meant to be forever but it was meant to be in the moment and that's all that matters

maybe one day you'll call me and try to make things right but I'm not waiting around on that to happen

i just wanted to wake up next to you and make you coffee and hold you in the kitchen but i guess that's not what you wanted

hello, first post. more coming soon