Be Gay, Do Crimes

“WHO’RE YOU CALLIN’ ‘LITTLE’?”

“You’re lookin’ a lil sloshed there... What’s the matter? Can’t hold your booze?”

She grabs the bottle and downs the rest, tossing it away with a burp and a hiccup.

*nervous laughter*

...DBZ Broly, the original mess-terpiece, takes the top placement. I have a soft spot for poorly-written, overpowered villains. Mostly because I snatch them up, rewrite them myself, and then whoops they become my children who I adore. I rewrote Broly before the new Super movie was confirmed as the new canon Broly movie; he’s even got a blog @destinedreturn​ under the name Fenn. Like... I still get kind of defensive over DBZ Broly, simply because he was a goldmine of potential who was given to bad writers, and it looks like Toriyama agreed because look at what we got with the new movie! To me, both versions of Broly are, at the core, the same character, and I could honestly write an essay on Old Broly but I will refrain. Just know that I love him and he is my son.

I’ve also been one of those people who has always preferred Frieza to Cell as a villain. Cell did have enormous potential, reaching power that Frieza couldn’t in the original run, but the thing that separated them into two different tiers for me was that Cell failed miraculously quickly. In a narrative sense, he had to, but I mean... could have destroyed Earth and then everything else after that but didn’t end up doing that vs. actually destroying planets and killing people left and right for decades until a legend came true twice. Frieza just feels more impressive as a villain to me for that.

I think Towa is pretty neat, not gonna lie. Her motivations are easy to understand and believable, no one can deny her skill in what she does, and I just wish we got to see more of her fighting and winning because I feel like we’re just scratching the surface with what she’s capable of. She built someone to do her fighting for her, but I don’t think that means that she’s any less strong. (Also she looks more like an angel than a demon with her blue skin and white hair and that has so many implications that could be so damn cool but it’s probably not happening.)

I would give Toriyama my blood to bring Raditz back and give him a weird arc of deciding to keep Earth intact because 1) most of these people can beat him up now and 2) god powers are now a thing that are attainable, and in the process maybe he learns love and respect and makes his mother proud in the afterlife. Maybe. I’ll figure that out another day.

There are a lot of villains and I’m probably forgetting a lot of them because I’m sleepy but yeah there’s the first draft list.

The girls. In glorious animation. Beautiful fight choreography. Fun humour. Fusions. Power scaling off the charts.

“Time for a change.”

Oh, that explains it.