Genuinely don't know how to go about this. I've rewritten this so many times to try and make it make sense, or sound not so bad and make yall not worry too much, and honestly...it would've been insensitive to a lot of people struggling out there with their own mental struggles...and making me sound fine and not so bad when I've actually been really bad the last couple months....
This is the final rewrite that I'm typing in one go. So definitely a lot of spelling errors and sentences that don't make sense.
Trigger warning: mentions of/references to cheating, s@icide attempts, dr*g misuse, mental distress, ...idk if I'm missing anything else
This is going to be heavy and REALLY personal, so please be careful while reading.
vvv TLDR to skip he reading vvv
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Tldr: mental health is none existent anymore and I'm just trying to figure out how to human.
This game is fucking rigged.
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I'm going to pull the bandage right off. My mom cheated on my dad. I've known...in a way...Ethan made sure I didn't remember so I could try and live normally...as normally as I could in an already unstable household.
Sperm-donor was already an asshole before anything...the whole cheating thing just made it more shit to live in this place.
Being in my own bubble where i can tuneout/forget anything that made me upset was great. Drawing and art were my ways of ignoring the everything around me and only have fun. Disassociate really.
So what happened? Why did I suddenly remember?
It came up during a conversation. My mom and I love talking about anything and everything. It just...came up...during the particular conversation...
Not talking about what...just...the conformation it DID happen...straight from her mouth...
I wasn't ready....weren't prepared... never supposed to hear that.
Years of living in a carefully constructed reality to protect what little sanity was there...gone in an instant.
It's been a blur since then. We kept a journal but that hasn't been updated since then....
Now everything feels...wrong. I get it. It’s reality. Everything is real. Shit happens. BUT ITS ALL WRONG!!!!!! Everything's the same but wrong!! Wrong!! WRONG WRONG!!! ITS ALL WRONG!!!!
Tried taking some weed, stupidly thinking a trip would help bring back my shiny colorful world again but fucking hell it just made things worse. Everything already looked shit but then it looked 10x worse!!
And oooooh boy. The one thing I loved doing the most...drawing...now felt like lead in my hands.
Couldn't escape by drawing.
Couldn't escape by dissociating.
Couldn't escape the stupid place.
Nothing I could do...and still can't do...felt right anymore.
....attempts... were made...I'm just...struggling. so much. Im so...so tired. im not mad or upset bout the fact she cheated. honestly, she really could have done better than this sperm donor. it's the fact i can now. feel. everything. that.. hurts.
Every attempt got interrupted. Idk if that was divine intervention or some sick cosmic joke to torment me further.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. How I think. How feel. What I want. Who I am...its all so...scrambled.
I can still at least pretend I'm okay when in front of people i know and love.
Why don't I just talk to my friends or therapist bout this? Easy.
I. Fucking. CAN'T.
Like I said before. Unstable home life. When I was in college, I could get away with it and get the support I needed. But as of right now, I'm stuck at home and jobless cuz the industry fucking SUCKS. Even if I did get a job, I'd never be allowed to leave the house and only allowed to work from home...I'm not gonna explain anything further about my living situation. All you need to know it's shit.
Tangent...sorry...
Anyways. Mental stability? Nonexistent.
Am I at constant risk of myself? Yep.
Am I going to do anything? Hopefully not.
Will I eventually go to therapy? When the Sperm-donar kicks the the bucket.
Been trying to find small, simple things to enjoy to keep my mind occupied.
I don't know if I'll ever get better any time soon. Or enjoy thing that I use to. Drawing is a little awkward now...but small steps I guess...
I'm trying to stay away from anything that's triggering...little hard considering literally anything can set me off now.
Idk if I'll post stuff like I used to..but I want to try small...I made you guys worried enough with my absence.
Unfollow if you want...I don't have anything left that's good to show anyways.
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Wanting to catch a big fish but instead...you get teeny tiny fsh. I imagine their fishing adventure wasn't very successful but they did get lots of tiny guppies lol
- All content warnings of the original game apply. Please be mindful of your needs and take breaks or step away from the game if you feel uncomfortable.
- No harm of any kind comes to the cat.
Spoiler warning:
- This post will assume you have played through the whole game at least once.
Synopsis:
You thought the Head Housemaiden would know how to help you. Would know about Wish Craft. And would know to break it. That was dumb. You're dumb. You should know by now nobody can help you. Not your friends, not The King, not Head Housemaiden. So get up. The show's back on stage.
A rewrite of Acts 5 and 6, focusing on additional attempts to break the Wish or find a loophole (lmao) in it. Explore the House again, break into locked rooms and take people's things in the middle of the night. Befriend a cat and try to ignore how your friends are remembering things that never happened. At least not yet. I'm sure it's fine.
New Content:
> 2 - 5 hours of new scenes, replacing most of Acts 5 and 6
> 2 edited and 17 (20, if you count each "panel") new pictures
> A few new overworld sprites for items and characters (which I'm not sure how to count)
> A cat you can pet, name, feed, and introduce to your friends
> 3 new ways to die
> Getting frozen in time now brings back some... memories...
New items:
> Lockpicks - for breaking and entering
> Pesticide - contains arsenic
> Notebook - so you don't forget
> Beatrice - a stuffed toy for emotional support
> Axe - kill him dead
New areas:
> Music room
> The archive
> A forgotten room
New story beats (SPOILERS)
> Learn how to reflect the King's attack
> Start a fire. Two of them, in fact
> Remember what The Country was like
> Spend more time with Mal Du Pays against your will
> Fight through the House again, but this time your allies remember they've been here before
> Lose a tooth
Installation Guide:
- Unzip the mod files and drop them inside your game folder (The location will depend on your individual settings and the site from which you purchased the game.)
- Allow the mod files to replace those of the vanilla game where applicable.
- The mod was made on the game version 1.0.6.3. It is untested on any other ones.
- I strongly recommend starting a new game after installation. The mod gathers information about what extra content you've done through the loops (I recommend doing as much of it as possible before diving into Act 5), and installing it to a save file that takes place later on might cause a lot of issues.
Please let me know of any bugs or typos you encounter. It's just me, a sleep deprived non-native english speaker re-reading the thing at 2 in the morning, so there's surely a lot of these left despite my best efforts. No beta read we die like Siffrin etc.
This work of art was made without the use of AI at any point in its creation. I do NOT consent for any part of it to be used in training of any AI.
ok first off, want to apologize to my commissioners for my absence without saying anything, but i can happily say I can get back to drawing again!
little disclaimer, this post is serious with a joking tone. apologies if it comes off insincere and annoys you, need to cope somehow with this fucking circus of our life.
Anyways! Not dead! yet
Let's start with the first, A+ Mental Health!!!
Translation, Tier S dogshit~
This started a day before new year and still going. Not going to go into specifics but it involved an openish family secret that I knew and stayed oblivious to for our own sake. Unfortunately, shit happened involving that "secret", and I couldn't do damage control. Everything in the headspace was basically set on fire and became dysfunctional. Self-isolation, end-game thoughts and all that oh-so-fun things that come with spiraling out of control. Skipping quite a lot of details about the descent into insanity because trust me...you really don't need to know.
I don't really like to share stuff about our system. I like keeping our system status private and pretending to be a singlet for some kind of normalcy. This is just to give a little bit of context on where our mental state stands...which is still bad, but we are more or less functional again. I will be going back to using I as one person now, thank you.
Second that also devolves into a third thing and kinda fourth thing? It all mixes together
Injured left hand that it couldn't move, thats fine. Can still draw without it-- NOPE! Here comes chronic pain who thinks beating you with a steal chair is a form of greeting. It's been a year since our last flareup, so that came back in full force. It's a 3-4/10 on pain for now.
Foreshadowing.
Went to doc to check my hand and pain, test here and there, blah blah blah. X-Ray. Results a few days later-- doc wonders how the fuck am I not paralyzed yet. HA! Paralyzed in pain maybe!
Okay yes, going to my chiropractor is helping with the scoliosis. Stupid spine pinching nerves and make everything go haywire. Surgery for correction is not an option I want. Too invasive and risky. But TURNS OUT! the way my lower spine is curved, I should have been in a wheelchair-- It explains the funny legs collapsing but will cross that bridge when I get there.
A lot of this is vague on purpose. Don't like talking about personal things.
That's my life update!
Cheers to things getting better unless this is a preview for what my year is gonna be, then I'm royally fucked!
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Boring tired disclaimer: Keep in mind that this is an introductory "drawing" "tutorial" and has some generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People. Which happens to be true for everything in general. Links below so that you can research and do a nuance. Ones that were directly mentioned are bolded.
Writing a blind character 101
What to avoid etc
Video on types of white canes
Video on types of cane tips
Some more explanation on white canes + tips + other stuff
Guide animals
Video on working with a guide dog
But why are Magical White Eyes a problem
Same as above
Going blind from an accident
Video on conformers
World's most basic "what do you call someone with albinism"
The blindfold thing. No people don't wear these.
This mostly stupid trope of covering a blind character's eyes because lord forbid someone sees a disabled body part
This just stupid trope of giving a blind character some bs superpower to "see"
The echolocation thing that every other blind oc does for some reason
Just give them a cane good lord if you want a character that can see perfectly then maybe don't make them blind
Bonus: if your character has a bunch of scars or whatever else then congrats! You made a character with a facial difference. Which is also something you should research.
It's a collection of fanart I've made for ISAT from over the course of 5 months, arranged so that a story flows throughout its pages. It's my first time ever making an artbook, and I'm very happy both with the experience and with the results!
You can flip through the whole thing for free here, get a digital copy here, or get a physical copy here.
NOTE ON PHYSICAL COPIES: if shipping ends up costing too much (such as with international shipping), you could instead buy a print-ready PDF and get it printed locally/print it yourself. Please do whatever works best for you!
I'd very much appreciate it if you gave it a looksie!!! ♡(>ᴗ•)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
imagine being unable to read your favorite comfort fic because of something completely unrelated, you just happened to be talking about it the same time reality destroying information was dumped on you as a "haha heehee, funny right?"....can't fucking be me :)
