Major

I make mistakes

I’m only human

That’s all it takes

To put the blame on me

Don’t put the blame on me

🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️

Indie Scott Ryder from Mass Effect Andromeda

Selective

Multiship / Multiverse

Rules Verses Dossier

Mobile | Large Icons used

I make mistakes

I’m only human

That’s all it takes

To put the blame on me

Don’t put the blame on me

🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️

Indie Scott Ryder from Mass Effect Andromeda

Selective

Multiship / Multiverse

Rules Verses Dossier

Mobile | Large Icons used

Slides this in xxxx

Most likely the muses will be :

Kaidan

James Vega

Iloreath Shepard (Sentinel, paragade)

Hearing her rant the man’s gaze hardened. Withdrawing into himself as he gave the woman a calculated look. “You can’t!” he hissed as he growled and shook his head. His hands clenched again before he felt his biotics Flare, he felt the tingle of the energy course around him.

“I break everything I fuckin touch! I lost Michael! A man I Loved! You can’t love me! You deserve someone better, than a broken man like me!” He roared back, bearing his teeth.

He snarled and let a punch fly, denting into the wall and growled louder. “This is for YOUR protection. You can’t. I can never… Feel that love again. I’ve been burned by it too many times. I Can’t, Commander.” He hissed out and looked at the floor.

“Let that love go.” He stated firmly, glancing at her with an Ice type of look. No expression was present as he frowned deeper. “Nothing. I mean NOTHING will become of it.” Came a finalizing tone from Kaidan.

       Ariana slams her fist into the metal of the empty bed next to her, barely leaving a dent, but bruising her knuckles. Already, her fingers are difficult to open and close without pain. The beginning of her first sentence is almost drowned out the loud clang from the punch.

            “You loved Michael, and you lost him, so you’re afraid to love               anyone else because you don’t want to lose them either. That’s               fucking it, isn’t it?”

       She seems to have stopped crying, stopped being angry – or, at least, as angry as she was a minute or two ago. Her expression doesn’t change as she sees Kaidan’s biotics flare up across his skin, as he bares his teeth at her, as he delivers his own punch to the metal wall and creates a deeper dent than she did in the bed.

            “I don’t fucking need protection. I’m not some fucking delicate               flower you have to be careful around. I can take care of myself,               I can handle my own mistakes, but you won’t even let me do               that, apparently. And it’s not that you can’t feel anything again,               it’s that you won’t let yourself.”

       Her voice calms in the pause she takes.

"Michael and I were more than just lovers." Kaidan's tone softened just a hint. "we were-" there was a pause as he rolled his lips and contemplated what to say next. He cleared his throat and sighed. "We were supposed to get married after a few tours with our Commander."

The mercenary gave a growl and shook his head. "I know you're not some flower Shepard, a part of my brain wants to protect you no matter what. You're damn right I won't let myself fall again, I'm not going to loose someone I love again to anyone."

Kaidan laughed softly. “I was born on earth but I’ve stayed in the terminus systems after being discharged. It’s a perfect place to be if you’re hiding.” he admitted as he shook his head.

He didn’t know if he believed her words or not. Who ever he loved got hurt because of him. Did he love her?

Kaidan gave a huff as he looked down at her. Internally the man was a mess, he was dangerous… Calculating and yet she loved him? NO. No one could love him. Not like this. “Ari…I. You can’t. You can’t love me.” Kaidan stated, nearly believing himself.

He gently pulled his hands away and took multiple steps back. There was a certain unsureness that came with those three words. No one could love him. Not Michael, not Ariana. He was only good at being a playboy and a Merc. Love was Foreign, Dangerous.

“I’m sorry, Shepard. You can’t love me.”

       Well, it was out there now, and she couldn’t take it back, couldn’t rescind the statement. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to, she knew there was truth to the statement, though it wasn’t exactly an ideal moment to throw down something so heavy when the air around them was heavy enough already.

       Ariana thinks she can hear her heart breaking as he spoke.

       He pulls his hands from hers and steps back, away from her. She can do nothing about the tears welling up in her eyes, nothing about the way her hands curl into tight fists at her sides, nothing about how quickly the tears fall down her cheeks and silently collide with the metal floor.

       There are several long moments of tense silence. Ariana can hardly register the anger that has hot tears pouring down her cheeks and her hands balled into fists, let alone the uncertainty on Kaidan’s face.

            “…Who the fuck are you to tell me how I can and can’t feel?               It’s not like I expected this to happen, it’s not like I expected               to fucking blurt this out to you, right here and right now. But               it happened, and you’re fucking telling me I can’t? Fuck you.               You don’t fucking understand how hard that was for me to               accept, okay? Last time I loved someone, they almost fucking               died. I didn’t let myself feel anything for anyone for a long               fucking time, and then you come along and make me feel a               way no one else has, and I just…can’t? No. I can’t fucking               take it back now, and I don’t want to. So, god dammit, I’m               not. I love you.”

       Her anger fades quickly, fists uncurling as her hands relax. Her muscles feel drained, and she finally breaks eye contact, head hanging and eyes staring at the drops her tears have made on the floor. She watches as more fall from her cheeks and silently hit metal tiles. Her voice is quiet, almost broken.

"I break everything I fuckin touch! I lost Michael! A man I Loved! You can't love me! You deserve someone better, than a broken man like me!" He roared back, bearing his teeth.

He snarled and let a punch fly, denting into the wall and growled louder. "This is for YOUR protection. You can't. I can never... Feel that love again. I've been burned by it too many times. I Can't, Commander." He hissed out and looked at the floor.

This is truth

“It was fifteen years ago…. I had just turned twenty. That was the driving force that caused me to go to cat6. I’m worried that they will bring my history up against you. That it will be the reason that they will end this… The agreement.” He shook his head and turned away. His frown was ever deepening when he looked at her with unsure eyes.

“All of the experiences that I’ve had with the Alliance. Aren’t good. Maybe Hackett means well… I’ve only heard of him in passing.” He gave a growl and a shake of his head. “this isnt good.”

       A quiet snort puffs out through her nostrils, a wry smile curling a corner of her mouth.

            “I forget you’re older than me all the time. Fifteen years ago, I               was still on Earth. I was sixteen, and wishing my eighteenth               birthday would come quicker because I so desperately wanted               to get off the planet. I would have taken any opportunity, and               the Alliance was the first one I found.”

       She chews on the side of her lip again for a handful of seconds and squeezes his hands.

            “Whatever happens, Kaidan…I’m not going anywhere. I’m going               to stand right next to you and defend you to my fucking dying               breath if I have to. I – “

       Ariana swallows the lump in her throat and ignores the heat blooming in her cheeks.

He didn't know if he believed her words or not. Who ever he loved got hurt because of him. Did he love her?

Kaidan gave a huff as he looked down at her. Internally the man was a mess, he was dangerous... Calculating and yet she loved him? NO. No one could love him. Not like this. "Ari...I. You can't. You can't love me." Kaidan stated, nearly believing himself.

He gently pulled his hands away and took multiple steps back. There was a certain unsureness that came with those three words. No one could love him. Not Michael, not Ariana. He was only good at being a playboy and a Merc. Love was Foreign, Dangerous.

The man couldn’t help but frown, listening to her. “Ariana.” he started as he ran his fingers over her back. “do you not realize how much I worry? The alliance could court martial you because of what has happened. That is unnerving, I don’t- I can’t let that happen.”

Kaidan shook his head and sighed again, finally raising his gaze to meet hers. “Ari. I can handle myself, I just… Don’t like this plan. You and I both know that the Reapers are the real threat. The Alliance won’t listen to you or us about them.”

The man growled and shook his head again, he knew once he was in cuffs. He would panic. There was no getting around that. “Ari…. Do you want to know why I’m truly afraid of this? Why I’m acting like some scared Damned kid?”

The man growled and looked away. “Because when I was with the Alliance, my Commander put a failed mission on me. The alliance punished me and not him. He was the one who gave the orders…. And I lost the only man I loved during that time. I was a Scapegoat to cover up a bad call.” Kaidan frowned and clenched his fist, he remembered it vividly still… Nearly fifteen years later.

       Ariana has to bite back her sigh, instead chewing on the side of her bottom lip for a handful of seconds. A small smile came to her face when he asked her about how much he worried, and it widened when he said he could handle himself, but it faltered and fell quickly.

            “I’m not worried about either of us being able to handle ourselves,               I know you and I can meet that challenge head-on and come               out stronger on the other side, but…I knew going into this that               someone was going to have to pay for what happened. The               Alliance isn’t just going to stand idly by when a relay gets               destroyed, and I had accepted that I was going to take as much               of the fall as possible when we touched down in the shuttle.”

       She could see the worry in his eyes, how much he hated having this conversation, but she could also see there was something personal in this for him. There was something she wasn’t telling him. After he had, she almost wished he hadn’t. Ariana looked down and took his hands in hers again, watching her fingers play against his when she spoke.

            “Kaidan…I’m sorry. But no one is blaming you for something               you didn’t do. I know you had a part in what happened out               there, but I’ll be damned if you get shit for the decisions I               made. This isn’t your fault! And I’m not gonna let it happen               again.”

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“I was a scapegoat, the Alliance pinned the blame on me for letting multiple squads fall. It was my previous commander’s fault, he ordered them… And he pinned the men’s death on me. He got a promotion, What did I get? Discharged. For just following orders. ” Kaidan explained against her neck, giving her fingers a small squeeze before feeling them let go and wrap around his back.

The man let out a disbelieving huff as he shook his head. “Ari…nothing good is going to come out of this. I know what the price is and it’s not good.” he sighed and gave her a nuzzle. “when this is over… I’m taking you far away from it all. You’re mine Ari. I just hate that this is what breaks me.”

       Oh, how she simply wants to let her emotions break through and collapse right there on the metal floor. She feels so hopeless to stop anything that will happen to either of them, and while she cares little about what happens to her, she wants no harm to come to Kaidan. She will destroy anyone who tries to hurt him, that much is certain. She cares little about who hurts in return, but someone will pay that price. A defeated sort of sigh puffs over her lips, hands absently rubbing over Kaidan’s back.

            “Every decision has a price. Some people are okay with the               prices they pay, and some aren’t. Some decisions have prices               no one wants to pay, but they must be paid, and I would rather               have the price of this decision fall on me than on you.”

       She nudges his head up out of her shoulder and places both hands on his cheeks, emerald eyes staring directly into brown.

Kaidan shook his head and sighed again, finally raising his gaze to meet hers. "Ari. I can handle myself, I just... Don't like this plan. You and I both know that the Reapers are the real threat. The Alliance won't listen to you or us about them."

The man growled and shook his head again, he knew once he was in cuffs. He would panic. There was no getting around that. "Ari.... Do you want to know why I'm truly afraid of this? Why I'm acting like some scared Damned kid?"