Cat Ross

I’ll keep it as succinct as a long-winded individual can:

I can’t travel for work anymore. My health has made it impossible to leave home for long or keep commitments.

That said, I’m taking my work in a more adult direction because it’s something I can do from home and it’s something I’d like to try.

I’ll be camming and, once I feel like I’m capable of recording nice video, hopefully producing some beautiful and hopefully somewhat unique porn.

I’m not going to hide this because that feels icky. However, I might switch over to a new account permanently so that family members and friends don’t have to see my smut if they don’t want to but also because Cat RoPo is a pseudonym I personally want to shed.

You can find me @kitteahmodel And on twitter @kitteahcammodel.

I wrote this whole, huge thing–far longer than this even–and then I decided it wasn’t worth it. And then I decided a particular aspect of it really, really is because mental illness is more serious than chewing someone out over stolen art over the internet.

I’m not going to sit here and defend why I wasn’t the perfect lady-flower towards an asshole who replaced our credits with his lame-ass stolen porn blog link.

But hear this:

This is condescending and passive aggressive. Asking if this is how I deal with my depression/other “mental issues” (what–what, specifically ARE those issues, since you seem so concerned with them and do you understand what they are?) might seem insightful or biting in some way but it’s actually just tragically droll and seemingly intended to provoke. Well, congratulations.

Knowing that you’ve followed my work for some time now, I’m a bit surprised you haven’t noticed the many lighter and razor and scissor marks and any sharp object I could find marks I have on me. That’s one way I actually deal with mydepression/“other mental issues”.I also recall, one time, you criticized my writing, which is obviously fine because it’s on the internet and open to criticism, but the complaint was specifically that I always wrote about dark, depressing stuff and I could stand to change it up. True, but not as cathartic. So one of my other ways of dealing with my depression and “other mental issues” is pretty clear, it just wasn’t to your liking.You’re not the ground at my feet or the early morning mist on my face when I deal with my depression and “other mental issues” on my early morning hikes. You’re not my best fucking friends on the planet who came over and physically broke into my house by climbing through a window because I had swallowed everything I could find in my medicine cabinet, after which they took care of me and one of them took my face in their hands and held me and told me I deserved a beautiful, happy life and later helped me fold my clothes and clean the dishes I hadn’t done because I hadn’t gotten out of bed in three days.You’re not my boyfriend who has been around the galaxy twice and back for me countless times because he, for whatever reason, loves me and knows as close to exactly as anyone could what I’m going through because he has the same exact diagnoses as me. You know. The depression. And other. Mental. Issues. And stuff.

I’ve been sculpting fake monster teeth and mutant zygotes out of clay for the past two weeks because THAT’S another bizarro way I deal with my depression and other mental issues. You’re right, there’s no “need” to “pounce” on people. But I don’t think I “pounced,” a word which, by the way, might as well come with an asterisk denoting the words, “THIS VERB DESCRIBES THE ACTIONS OF EITHER AN INDIVIDUAL WHO OWNS A PUSSY OR IS A LITERAL FELINE!!!” I addressed the thing I was justifiably angry about and I did it in a language I thought this person might actually understand.

I don’t know you, so I don’t even know if you have the capacity to understand the many, many ways in which I have been taught through years of voluntary therapy and learned myself to deal with my issues or when I would need them and why. And to be blunt, I don’t really think you’d care even if you could.

I think you saw an opportunity on tumblr to express some form of aggression and you took it, so, according to you, at least we have that in common, right? While we’re deconstructing “things said on the internet” and interpreting the veiled, subconscious, inner-workings of the mind which spawned those things, how about I do you?

You find women on the internet who aesthetically vaguely remind you of your sophmoric fetishized versions of female heroes, you categorize them into memes which rely heavily upon a basic “outline” of what they look like (eye shape, hair color, and “body type,” fashion “style”) and while you initially shower them with praise, because you never actually bother to address the fact that you don’t actually know these women, you eventually and progressively become annoyed and disapproving and (barf) “disappointed” when you discover that they’ve dared to be people with personalities and behaviors which do not align with your selfish and masturbatory preconceived notions of what she should have been and become increasingly passive aggressive towards them because even your anger towards women just has to be patronizing.