Kissed (Magnus and Alec's first kiss)
It was printed on thin paper, nearly parchment, in a thin, elegant, spidery hand. It announced a gathering at the humble home of Magnus the Magnificent Warlock, and promised attendees âa rapturous evening of delights beyond your wildest imaginings.â âCity of Bones
Standing in the stairwell of Magnusâ home, Alec stared at the name written under the buzzer on the wall. BANE. The name didnât really seem to suit Magnus, he thought, not now that he knew him. If you could really be said to know someone when youâd attended one of their parties, once, and then theyâd saved your life later but hadnât really hung around to be thanked. But the name Magnus Bane made him think of a towering sort of figure, with huge shoulders and formal purple warlockâs robes, calling down fire and lightning. Not Magnus himself, who was more of a cross between a panther and a demented elf.
Alec took a deep breath and let it out. Well, heâd come this far; he might as well go on. The bare lightbulb hanging overhead cast sweeping shadows as he reached forward and pressed the buzzer.
A moment later a voice echoed through the stairwell. âWHO CALLS UPON THE HIGH WARLOCK?â
âEr,â Alec said. âItâs me. I mean, Alec. Alec Lightwood.â
There was a sort of silence, as if even the hallway itself were surprised. Then a ping, and the second door opened, letting him out onto the stairwell. He headed up the rickety stairs into the darkness, which smelled like pizza and dust. The second floor landing was bright, the door at the far end open. Magnus Bane was leaning in the entryway.
Compared to the first time Alec has seen him, he looked fairly normal. His black hair still stood up in spikes, and he looked sleepy; his face, even with its catâs eyes, very young. He wore a black t-shirt with the words ONE MILLION DOLLARS picked out across the chest in sequins, and jeans that hung low on his hips, low enough that Alec looked away, down at his own shoes. Which were boring.
âAlexander Lightwood,â said Magnus. He had just the faintest trace of an accent, something Alec couldnât put his finger on, a lilt to his vowels. âTo what do I owe the pleasure?â
Alec looked past Magnus. âDo you have â company?â
Magnus crossed his arms, which did good things for his biceps, and leaned against the side of the door. âWhy do you want to know?â
âI was hoping I could come in and talk to you.â
âHmmm.â Magnusâ eyes raked him up and down. They really did shine in the dark, like a catâs. âWell, all right then.â He turned abruptly away and disappeared into the apartment; after a startled moment, Alec followed.
The loft looked different without a hundred churning bodies in it. It was â well, not ordinary, but the sort of space someone might live in. Like most lofts, it had a big central room split into âroomsâ by groupings of furniture. There was a square collection of sofas and tables off to the right, which Magnus gestured Alec toward. Alec sat down on a gold velvet sofa with elegant wooden curlicues on the arms.
âWould you like some tea?â Magnus asked. He wasnât sitting in a chair, but had sprawled himself on a tufted ottoman, his long legs stretched out in front of him.
Alec nodded. He felt incapable of saying anything. Anything interesting or intelligent, that was. It was always Jace who said the interesting, intelligent things. He was Jaceâs parabatai and that was all the glory he needed or wanted: like being the dark star to someone elseâs supernova. But this was somewhere Jace couldnât go with him, something Jace couldnât help him with. âSure.â
His right hand felt suddenly hot. He looked down, and realized he was holding a waxed paper cup from Joe, the Art of Coffee. It smelled like chai. He jumped, and only barely escaped spilling on himself. âBy the Angel ââ
âI LOVE that expression,â said Magnus. âItâs so quaint.â
Alec stared at him. âDid you steal this tea?â
Magnus ignored the question. âSo,â he said. âWhy are you here?â
Alec took a gulp of the stolen tea. âI wanted to thank you,â he said, when he came up for air. âFor saving my life.â
Magnus leaned back on his hands. His t-shirt rode up over his flat stomach, and this time Alec had nowhere else to look. âYou wanted to thank me.â
âYou saved my life,â Alec said, again. âBut I was delirious, and I donât think I really thanked you. I know you didnât have to do it. So thank you.â
Magnusâ eyebrows had disappeared up into his hairline. âYouâre . . .welcome?â
Alec set his tea down. âMaybe I should go.â
Magnus sat up. âAfter you came so far? All the way to Brooklyn? Just to thank me?â He was grinning. âNow that would be a wasted effort.â He reached out and put his hand to Alecâs cheek, his thumb brushing along the cheekbone. His touch felt like fire, training tendrils of sparks in its wake. Alec sat frozen in surprise â surprise at the gesture, and surprise at the effect it was having on him. Magnusâ eyes narrowed, and he dropped his hand. âHuh,â he said to himself.
âWhat?â Alec was suddenly very worried that heâd done something wrong. âWhat is it?â
âYouâre just . . .â A shadow moved behind Magnus; with fluid agility, the warlock twisted around and picked up a small gray and white tabby cat from the floor. The cat curled into the crook of his arm and looked at Alec with suspicion. Now two pairs of gold-green eyes were trained on him darkly. âNot what I expected.â
âFrom a Shadowhunter?â
âI didnât realize you knew my family that well.â
âIâve known your family for hundreds of years.â Magnusâ eyes searched his face. âNow your sister, sheâs a Lightwood. Youââ
âShe said you liked me.â
âIzzy. My sister. She told me you liked me. Liked me, liked me.â
âLiked you, liked you?â Magnus buried his grin in the catâs fur. âSorry. Are we twelve now? I donât recall saying anything to Isabelle . . .â
âJace said it too.â Alec was blunt; it was the only way he knew how to be. âThat you liked me. That when he buzzed up here, you thought he was me and you were disappointed that it was him. That never happens.â
âDoesnât it? Well, it should.â
Alec was startled. âNo â I mean Jace, heâs . . . Jace.â
âHeâs trouble,â said Magnus. âBut you are totally without guile. Which in a Lightwood, is a conundrum. Youâve always been a plotting sort of family, like low-rent Borgias. But there isnât a lie in your face. I get the feeling everything you say is straightforward.â
Alec leaned forward. âDo you want to go out with me?â
Magnus blinked. âSee, thatâs what I mean. Straightforward.â
Alec chewed his lip and said nothing.
âWhy do you want to go out with me?â Magnus inquired. He was rubbing Chairman Meowâs head, his long fingers folding the catâs ears down. âNot that Iâm not highly desirable, but the way you asked, it seemed as if you were having some sort of fit ââ
âI just do,â Alec said. âAnd I thought you liked me, so youâd say yes, and I could try â I mean, we could try ââ He put his face in his hands. âMaybe this was a mistake.â
Magnusâ voice was gentle. âDoes anyone know youâre gay?â
Alecâs head jerked up; he found he was breathing a little hard, as if heâd run a race. But what could he do, deny it? When heâd come here to do exactly the opposite? âClary,â he said, hoarsely. âWhich is . . . Which was an accident. And Izzy, but sheâd never say anything.â
âNot your parents. Not Jace?â
Alec thought about Jace knowing, and pushed the thought away, hard and fast. âNo. No, and I donât want them to know, especially Jace.â
âI think you could tell him.â Magnus rubbed Chairman Meow under the chin. âHe went to pieces like a jigsaw puzzle when he thought you were going to die. He cares ââ
âIâd rather not.â Alec was still breathing quickly. He rubbed at the knees of his jeans with his fists. âIâve never had a date,â he said in a low voice. âNever kissed anyone. Not ever. Izzy said you liked me and I thought ââ
âIâm not unsympathetic. But do you like me? Because this being gay business doesnât mean you can just throw yourself at any guy and itâll be fine because heâs not a girl. There are still people you like and people you donât.â
Alec thought of his bedroom back at the Institute, of being in a delirium of pain and poison when Magnus had come in. He had barely recognized him. He was fairly sure heâd been screaming for his parents, for Jace, for Izzy, but his voice would only come out on a whisper. He remembered Magnusâ hands on him, his fingers cool and gentle. He remembered the death-grip heâd kept on Magnusâ wrist, for hours and hours, even after the pain had passed and he knew he would be all right. He remembered watching Magnusâ face in the light of the rising sun, the gold of sunrise sparking gold out of his eyes, and thinking how oddly beautiful he was, with his catâs gaze and grace.
âYes,â Alec said. âI like you.â
He met Magnusâ gaze squarely. The warlock was looking at him with a sort of admixture of curiosity and affection and puzzlement. âItâs so odd,â Magnus said. âGenetics. Your eyes, that color ââ He stopped and shook his head.
âThe Lightwoods you knew didnât have blue eyes?â
âGreen-eyed monsters,â said Magnus, and grinned. He deposited Chairman Meow on the ground, and the cat moved over to Alec, and rubbed against his leg. âThe Chairman likes you.â
âI never date anyone my cat doesnât like,â Magnus said easily, and stood up. âSo letâs say Friday night?â
A great wave of relief came over Alec. âReally? You want to go out with me?â
Magnus shook his head. âYou have to stop playing hard to get, Alexander. It makes things difficult.â He grinned. He had a grin like Jaceâs â not that they looked anything alike, but the sort of grin that lit up his whole face. âCome on, Iâll walk you out.â
Alec drifted after Magnus toward the front door, feeling as if a weight had been taken off his shoulders, one he hadnât even known he was carrying. Of course heâd have to come up with an excuse for where he was going Friday night, something Jace wouldnât want to participate in, something heâd need to do alone. Or he could pretend to be sick and sneak out. He was so lost in thought he almost banged into the front door, which Magnus was leaning against, looking at him through eyes narrowed to crescents.
âWhat is it?â Alec said.
âNever kissed anyone?â Magnus said. âNo one at all?â
âNo,â said Alec, hoping this didnât disqualify him from being datable. âNot a real kiss ââ
âCome here.â Magnus took him by the elbows and pulled him close. For a moment Alec was entirely disoriented by the feeling of being so close to someone else, to the kind of person heâd wanted to be close to for so long. Magnus was long and lean but not skinny; his body was hard, his arms lightly muscled but strong; he was an inch or so taller than Alec, which hardly ever happened, and they fit together perfectly. Magnusâ finger was under his chin, tilting his face up, and then they were kissing. Alec heard a small hitching gasp come from his own throat and then their mouths were pressed together with a sort of controlled urgency. Magnus, Alec thought dazedly, really knew what he was doing. His lips were soft, and he parted Alecâs expertly, exploring his mouth: a symphony of lips, teeth, tongue, every movement waking up a nerve ending Alec had never known he had.
He found Magnusâ waist with his fingers, touching the strip of bare skin heâd been trying to avoid looking at before, and slid his hands up under Magnusâ shirt. Magnus jerked with surprise, then relaxed, his hands running down Alecâs arms, over his chest, his waist, finding the belt loops on Alecâs jeans and using them to pull him closer. His mouth left Alecâs and Alec felt the hot pressure of his lips on his throat, where the skin was so sensitive that it seemed directly connected to the bones in his legs, which were about to give out. Just before he slid to the floor, Magnus let him go. His eyes were shining and so was his mouth.
âNow youâve been kissed,â he said, reached behind him, and yanked the door open. âSee you Friday?â
Alec cleared his throat. He felt dizzy, but he also felt alive â blood rushing through his veins like traffic at top speed, everything seemingly almost too brightly colored. As he stepped through the door, he turned and looked at Magnus, who was watching him bemusedly. He reached forward and took hold of the front of Magnusâ t-shirt and dragged the warlock toward him. Magnus stumbled against him, and Alec kissed him, hard and fast and messy and unpracticed, but with everything he had. He pulled Magnus against him, his own hand between them, and felt Magnusâ heart stutter in his chest.
He broke off the kiss, and drew back.
âFriday,â he said, and let Magnus go. He backed away, down the landing, Magnus looking after him. The warlock crossed his arms over his shirt â wrinkled where Alec had grabbed it â and shook his head, grinning.
âLightwoods,â Magnus said. âThey always have to have the last word.â
He shut the door behind him, and Alec ran down the steps, taking them two at a time, his blood still singing in his ears like music.