Tim Drake has been kidnapped 235 times in his life so far.
The first time was when he was 4. He was held in warehouse for 6 days before the thugs who took him realized that they wouldn’t be able to get ahold of his parents no matter how many times they called. They wouldn’t pick up calls even from the kids own phone. They fed him a nice warm meal, and dropped him back off at his door with several full Tupperware containers, and new contacts in his phone.
At least once every few weeks since that day, Tim would find himself being picked up in an unmarked van and taken to an undisclosed location, and upon arrival, he would be seated at a large table where he would eat his fill of home cooked meals with a large family of thugs and goons.
Red Hood is going over the details of his latest operation. His crew is milling about doing busy work, and doing their best to keep out of his way while he’s in his Planning Mood.
He looks up and sees one of his guys grabbing some keys and heading towards the door.
“Hey, where do you think you’re going? We’ve still got shit to do here.”
“Oh, sorry boss! I’m just heading out to kidnap the kid! I’ll be back in like 20.”
Hood can’t even begin to wrap his head around that before someone else pipes up.
“Ah, make sure you go pick up Nico from his apartment, too. Nobody can ever get his Nonna’s meatballs right.”
“Alright, make that 30.”
“No, hold the fuck up! I didn’t authorize this shit, and you know we don’t fuck with kids!”
He must have been zapped into another dimension because why the fuck is everyone looking at him like he’s the weird one.
“Don’t be like that, boss. It’s our turn to take in the Drake kid. We can’t push it onto Morello’s crew because one of his boys got the flu real bad, and we can’t let little Timmy get sick with no one home to take care of him!”
“WHAT THE FUCK?!”
