my grandma has a dog like this….

Ya grandma a hoe

Is this for real?

I promise

might fuck around and drink the daily recommended amount of water

i have to pee

i make ya man wanna speak spanish

Italian*👼

make ur own sphagetti ass post giada de laurentis

i just really, really, really, really…want to be with you

what sort of Carly Rae Jepsen plagiarism

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

reblog this in 10 seconds and you will find a mysteriously unopened card with $100 and you will also finally graduate middle school

donald trump look like he fighting death so hard lmao just close your eyes and walk towards the light my guy