writing when

so when you follow him to his bike, you sit and start conversation, talking to this man who only ever has long conversations with you and a limited number of other people

he keeps up the conversation, looking up at you every so often, smiling or laughing at something you said

he’s got his sleeves pushed up and his tattoos ripple while he works and it’s. it’s distracting-

so when it’s silent for a bit, he looks up to see you staring at his forearms with an odd kind of glazed-over focus. and when your eyes flick up to meet his gaze…

he feels his mouth go a bit dry and he swallows before turning back to the work

suddenly he’s fumbling a bit, his mind drawing blanks as to what exactly he planned to do with this part and that tool and god what were they for because all he can think of is that look in your eyes and the way your lips parted and that focus on his tattooed forearms and the way you look when you lick your lips or you bite your lip and how he thinks he wants to try doing it for you-

and then you’re sidling up to his side and asking if you can help at all with what he’s doing- your voice is husky when you speak but so is his as he replies and he’s got some sort of internal panic goin on bc wow you’re so close and when did you get so close and wow you smell nice and you’re so warm against his side and he likes this but also wow you’re making him nervous and his mouth rebels when it tells you that yes you can help and then his hands rebel as they teach you how to clean this part so he can use it later and suddenly his brain goes very AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGHGHHGHH when you press a kiss to his jaw and get to cleaning-

you thought you were distracted when he was fixing the bike? his eyes are on your hands most of the time so much that he’s forgetting that he’s also supposed to be working

and once the bike is fixed, he’s pushing you against something, the table, the

creeper stool, the bike, the wall-? (it’s the wall. let’s imagine the wall.) and his lips are on yours, his hands gentle but firm on your face while he encourages you to tangle your fingers in his and no he doesn’t care about the grease shut up

hands are moving, getting shirts greasy. the table/bike/chair/wall has also gotten greasy and his chest is pressing against yours and his mouth is so insistent and feels so good moving against yours like this and he’s got this little frown like he wants to kiss you more, kiss you harder, but his hands are gentle and sweet and still firm and at some point his hands moved to your own and tangled your fingers together to push against the wall because god your hands are distracting him

and his lips travel over your cheek down to your jaw and nips gently there, kissing down your neck- god you looked so good fixing his bike, your hands fixing it the way he taught you to, and you look so utterly right doing this, with his bike, looking so at home. doing things just right, looking just right when you touch the bike and he’s remembering how you look sitting on the bike, mounting or dismounting it

so when he greets you, he probably walks up to you where you’re sitting waiting to meet up and helps you up

brushes his lips gently over your cheekbone as you stand and he guides you up w a hand on ur lower back

OR he meets up w you and just smiles a little shyly but reaches to press a gentle kiss to your cheek. his lips pressed to your cheek for just a little less than a second before he pulls away and his cheeks are a little red and he looks away

UGH HES SO FUCKING CUTE I HAVE TOO MANY IDEAS ABOUT HIM

or or or or smooth xiao dismounting the bike and shaking his hair out after taking off the helmet. eyes meeting yours as he walks over to you leaning against the wall and you know your legs are feeling pretty weak so thank fuck this wall is supporting your weight

idek if y’all are meeting up for the first time that night or if you’ve seen each other earlier in the day but let’s pretend that he saw you earlier and it ended with a cocky little smirk and a teasing goodbye-

the kind of goodbye where he teased you with the IDEA of that kiss, his finger under your chin to tilt your head back as he walks past you, swagger in his step

he knows you turned in your seat to watch him walk away and he just smirks to himself and gives you a two-fingered wave of his hand when you’re still watching him mount the bike

but that little tease…mmm

it was the promise of a kiss that he’s now here to deliver

he walks up to you, smirk already in place, and puts a hand against the wall over your shoulder- just straight up kabedoning you rn

and he uses his other hand to tip your chin gently, his eyes on your lips, his breath uneven and that smirk still delightfully in place as he presses his lips to yours and hums into the kiss-

and my god those little vibrations-

it’s not a short kiss but it’s not a long one either, and he comes back for more before he finally stops kabedoning you to take your hand and walk wherever the date was supposed to be

alternatively…making out…once you’ve um. settled into the relationship a bit and are comfy with it ofc

okay i think i’ve written some of it before (is it published? who knows, i have the memory of a goldfish)

riding the bike up to a scenic point, you’re both off the bike and standing next to it to take in the view

and he smirks at you in some kinda way and pushes your hips back into the seat- and his hand slides to the side of your neck and holds you while he presses his lips to yours-

stepping into you so you have to put your hands back onto the seat and hope that you’re steady enough you won’t fall off the bike but my god his lips are so smooth and talented and they’re moving against yours-

his tongue just sweeping over your bottom lip when he sucks that lip into his mouth and tugs with his teeth and you forget how to breathe for a second

when he pulls away, his lips are a little swollen and he tugs that protective jacket he got you a little tighter around your shoulders, dragging his hand down the lapel and smoothing over your hips-

ahem i’m fine i’m totally fine it’s fine anyway moving on AHEM

god but his tongue sweeping over his bruised bottom lip, his eyes burning into yours and flashing down to your own lips and his eyes are so dark MOVING ON MOVING ON

um. um. right right i have thots besides that um. RIGHT RIGHT OKAY

PLAYING VIDEO GAMES WITH XIAO

he’s also a gamer!! and he wanted to play a game w you but u weren’t familiar w it so he’s showing you how to play it now

you both started out on the couch when you asked him to show you how to do something in the game and he reached around you

but that was awkward! he’s at your side and it’s a struggle to show you at that angle, of course

so instead you moved to the floor in front of him, sitting at his feet, tilting your head back to look at him when you need help. and he gives you a little forehead kiss and a small laugh

and then he leans forward, sliding his arms over your shoulders and his hands over yours, his head by your ear, murmuring while he directs your fingers over the controls

of course you have to give your boyfriend kisses as a thank you! and they’re simple pecks and short little open-eyed kisses for the most part :)

but of course there’s one particularly hard part of the game that you’re simply very happy to have gotten past. very exciting, ur very elated, so you jump up in your victory and xiao is sat on the couch excited for you and kind of laughing, kind of proud

and you tilt his head back and bend to give him a much longer, bigger kiss with this victory

but something changes in the atmosphere and his hands slide over your hips, his teeth nip at your lip- and you nip right back, pulling away to meet dark eyes before he tugs you back with a gentle hand at your nape

and you’re stepping between his legs, one arm around your waist and his other holding your face to his, one of your hands at his shoulder to steady you, the other in his hair, tugging gently-

and suddenly you’re falling against the couch and xiao is hovering on top of you, his knee between yours and his lips pressing harder against your own, his hand playing at the hem of your shirt just to brush against the skin there and not moving past it-

his lips press hard against yours, his tongue teasing your bottom lip when he isn’t sucking hard at it, but his fingers are so light as they skate up over your shirt and over your waist, down your arm, tangling his fingers with yours-

um. anyway. um. i’m gonna. stop there. and let you imagine the rest of that as you will. um. uhum.

the hanky panky snickety doo dah ~eyebrow wiggle~

and i won’t get into the heavy emotional stuff but this man has so many feels okay i stand by this statement

you both dismount from the bike and take off helmets and such and he just kind of looks at you, his cheeks flushed from the ride and from how nervous he is that maybe you don’t return these feelings but then he says it

he just kind of breathes out “i love you” and it’s quiet but firm bc he really does love you so much but if he says anything any louder, he knows his voice will crack

and it’s so quiet bc did he just-? this man who you can SEE does care deeply but you didn’t think would say it.

xiao is not a vocal person. his words are always sincere. so this...this is…

“say it again. please.” a flash of golden irises and a kiss pressed to your lips. “i love you” spoken against your lips with a kiss to punctuate the sentence. “i love you” as breath is traded, as you wind your arms around him, as he cups your face and you lean back against the bike while his entire soul leans into yours

or an “i love you” as you stand in his kitchen spooning almond tofu into bowls, wearing his riding jacket on ur shoulders “because it’s so much warmer!” and he just stands there watching you, enjoying your presence, loving the way you move

it’s an “i love you” that isn’t nerve-wracking. it’s a truth, it’s his truth. he loves you with his entire being and to say it doesn’t make him nervous. it’s easy to say he loves you because it is easy to love you

and he watches you pause, the spoon of tofu hovering over the bowl while you process that three word bombshell he just dropped so casually

and he watches you consciously concentrate on putting that spoon into the bowl so you can turn to face him and without prompting he repeats himself

he catches the pull of your lips and feels all the lighter as you repeat his words back to him and just return to the almond tofu

it’s easier than breathing and it’s almost as if nothing has changed except for the stupid smiles on your faces

alternatively, xiao is extremely nervous that you don’t return the sentiment

but he’s holding you and you fell asleep on him and you’re just…existing together.

and it’s beautiful and sweet and there’s this all-consuming feeling of too much inside of him, pushing at his skin and pushing at his throat and it’s been there for a while

and usually he goes out for a ride when he feels like this. goes out to feel the wind whip away every worry and this feeling he’s lovingly dubbed “wtf???” he goes riding so he can breathe and usually it helps him feel lighter, even though that feeling lingers

except this time, when he opens his mouth to breathe, to gasp, those three big words come out instead and he’s surprised that any words came out at all

but then he thinks. and the words, they’re true, aren’t they? it’s almost a relief to get them out. the pressure is gone

it’s akin to getting out of the shower and blinking away the water on his lashes. everything is still steamed up and foggy. it’s a little bit hard to breathe w all that steam, but then these words are like wiping that fogged up mirror, the vent turning on and giving the room some circulation, the air washing over him

not everything is clear. but this one thing, this all-consuming pressure inside of him, he knows what that is. he can see it. he can feel it and he knows that it won’t change, not while his heart still beats

you lie, asleep still, on xiao, oblivious to the epiphany he’s just had. he brushes his hand down your cheek, caressing your face and whispers those words again.

how are you his? why? when did this relationship evolve into something so much more for him?

it’s like you went on your first date both so long ago and just yesterday. it’s like he blinked and plunged and found himself on the ground, the vibrations shocking their way through his body but he’s completely uninjured.

and by that i mean he’ll sit you in his lap, do your eyeliner, and then press a kiss to your lips afterward

this man is so indulgent with his s/o, the smile reserved just for you and the number of KISSES he’ll give you just because?? you are his DARLING and it shows

once you start dating he gets a motorcycle helmet for you 🥺 in your size, so you don’t have to use the other one he has for guest passengers especially since he’s not taking any other ppl on his bike

would be down to get small matching decals with you for the helmet but only if you want to

gets you riding gear too, despite him being a super safe rider

dress for the slide, not for the ride

it’s a just in case but he’s prepared bc he really cares about you <3

when you go out, you don’t always take his bike but he usually wears his jacket anyway. he probably owns a few sweatshirts but usually wears them to sleep or smth

and if you get cold while you’re out, he absolutely gives you his jacket or does that thing where he opens his jacket for you and you snuggle in with him

he probably lets you steal his sweaters too, if you can fit in them or have them be oversized (as a short person myself i want to steal xiao’s sweaters and snuggle in)

might hold your hand in public, likes playing with your fingers but it’s especially noticeable when you’re alone

has definitely used the excuse that your hands get cold and he has to warm them <3 and the liTTLE KISSES HE WOULD PRESS TO YOUR KNUCKLES TOO

probably down with pet names. if you call him sweetheart, he internally uwus but if you call a good doggo sweetheart or smth, xiao probably comes running too 😭 and then he’ll get all disappointed bc he thought you were calling him

“when you need me, you call out my name. i thought ‘sweetheart’ was my name 🥺”

okay okay okay but “my love” is one of his favorites after the ily’s happen

and so is “my sweet love” and “handsome” or “my darling.” loves being called anything to do with your love

tells you that his middle name is alatus which he doesn’t tell anyone

and since alatus means “winged” or “of good repute” depending on the language you’re using for its etymology (both can apply to xiao tho and i love that, there’s so much lore to be unpacked there) i feel like a pet name along those lines would be cute too. like “my angel” or “my dove” bc doves can also represent freedom, love, purity, etc in some cultures

but he definitely loves that “my” in front of the pet names~ he likes feeling yours, but that he’s yours freely. giving himself to you, fully, vulnerably

xiao is also a gamer but not everyone knows that, esp since he comes off more like a scary biker often

but he likes seeing you in his clothes or taking an interest in some of the games he plays, esp if it’s a current interest. definitely would want to play with you and teach you how to play the game if you were unfamiliar

would probably do that thing where he gets really close over your shoulder and puts his hand over yours- maybe dropping a kiss to your cheek or your neck every now and again and reveling in it when it throws you off-

probably has a stupid hot smirk on his face when you do get distracted bc it means you’re as affected as he is-

the first time he teaches you how to play, it absolutely ends up in making out on his gaming chair, either with you on his lap or you seated on the chair and him standing over you, his hand at your nape and holding you while he kisses you dizzy-

same as if you were to ask him to teach you how to ride his bike

the first lesson he’s giving you, the bike is off, no one is wearing the gear because the bike isn’t moving, and you’re straddling the bike, xiao next to you while he points out the throttle, the clutch, the brake, etc

he’s teaching you how to position your hands better and he’s actually very serious bc he’s big on safety, but there are moments when he’s so close that you can feel his body heat radiating through his clothes and he’s so close and so warm

and there’s a look between the both of you that’s absolutely not focused on the motorcycle lesson at all and suddenly it’s warmer because wow you look attractive on his bike and wow he looks so warm and strong and his arms and his jaw and his hands are all tensing-

and then his hands are cupping your face and his lips are on yours, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip gently-

once you swing your leg over the bike and get settled, xiao is pulling your arms around his waist and there’s a gruff “hold on” before arrogant, cocky xiao is back with that stupidly unreasonably hot smirk

he makes sure you’re holding on nice and tight and you can FEEL the smirk on his face, archons he’s so satisfied with himself

but then he’ll start to move and it’s slow and smooth and easy, truly breathtaking as he starts to accelerate

and you can feel the kind of freedom he loves so much, the speed and the control, the sheer strength of the ride

you can feel the play of his muscles under his jacket, even if he isn’t purposely flexing anything

man is just built, okay?

but ANYWAY, you can feel his abs under the jacket- and if you lean a bit closer to him, you can feel the muscles of his back move as he turns or squeezes the brakes or throttle and the strength you can feel in every move, the decisiveness and the ease-

Y’ALL HIS LEGS

when he stops at a light or an intersection and he uses his legs to stand while he’s stopped- and you can feel his legs brushing against yours as he stands or settles back in-

listen maybe i’m a simp for thighs but his thIGHS, GOD THE MAN IS THICC AND COCKY XIAO KNOWS IT AND FLAUNTS IT AND LATER THAT NIGHT GETS ALL INSECURE AND UGH

ANYWAYS I’M FINE

ahem

his riding with a passenger isn’t showy at all, it’s safe and gentle, no matter how gruffly he would deny that he’s ever gentle with anyone (unless he’s being dorky because then by all means, call him gentle and watch him blush but not deny it)

even though the stop is smooth, the whole thing leaves you both breathless. the motorcycle is stopped, the engine is off, he’s balancing and you’re about to dismount

you’re taking off your helmet while he settles the bike on the kickstand and then he’s taking off his helmet and it’s just two breathless people with warm cheeks looking at each other with wide eyes full of that kind of wild, giddy feeling from a fun ride

and then he smiles that small, lopsided grin he shows so few people and it isn’t a huge smile but it’s big for him

god don’t get me started on if he bites his lip DO NOT SEND ME DOWN THAT ROAD ESPECIALLY IF HE LICKS AT HIS LIP TOO???

GOD ANYWAY

if he gets close to you romantically and you’ve ridden with him before, can you imagine the makeout sessions you can have

stopping at some scenic point, kickstand down, both of you standing and kissing and then he’s just pushing you to sit sideways on the bike, him between your knees to kiss you stupid-

a hand at your collar to hold you there while he presses his lips to yours hard-

or having you sit backward on the bike so he can kiss you and lean you back over the handlebars-

hickeys galore

if ur on tiktok and know that audio of SCRUM. DILLY. ICIOUS. yeah that’s him <3

he wears well-fitting motorcycle jackets and probably owns two so he can always have one while the other gets cleaned. but it fits him SO WELL. shoulders fitted, doesn’t seem extremely tight on him like he’s trying to look like a model but he looks like one anyway. even when the jacket is unzipped his outlined figure looks like he could fight god and win

bc it’s safety gear it has to have some padding, but not even the padding on those jackets can hide the fact that the dude is lean and strong and unreasonably attractive

looks like the stereotypical bad boy who has a motorcycle. the one mother’s in white 80s movies warn their daughters about.

probably doesn’t wear padded pants for safety gear. maybe for long trips where he’s riding for more than a few hours, but daily? probably not, just wears jeans instead. not super loose or anything like sweatpants, but probably well-fitting denim with some degree of thickness

i can’t decide if i want him in doc martens or chuck taylors but if he did BOTH oh my god

can look totally dorky but intimidating in a game shop with a leather riding jacket, light wash blue jeans and chucks with an unguarded wide smile around the people he trusts. or he can look super intimidating and Edgy with the jacket open over a white tee, ripped black jeans and docs. playing a pocketknife over his fingers absentmindedly too, and an unreadable expression that looks like he’s assessing threats

the motorcycle itself is probably a sports bike despite xiao not using it in sports or racing. he probably can and probably did at one point when he was younger but doesn’t anymore

when he wants to impress someone, if he’s leaving, he’ll kickstart the bike with one kick and lean low over the bike when he starts to move. or if he’s stopping for whoever he’s impressing, he’ll lean low and drift to a stop a foot away from them just because he can

smirking under the helmet visor and even if you can’t see his mouth, his eyes clearly display that he’s smirking and confident and stupid hot

does that thing where he swings his leg off the bike and it looks like he’s doing this for a movie, he looks so unreasonably confident and hot but you KNOW he doesn’t actually give a shit what people think so it’s not for attention

WHEN HE FIXES THE BIKE UGH

does that really annoying thing where he either wears a pristine white t shirt to get dirty or he wears an old ratty shirt that he still makes look unreasonably good or an old sweatshirt if the weather is cold

looks so hot with that streak of grease on his cheek that he got from rubbing the back of a dirty hand on his face