cat !

nobody had ever really noticed the shift in natalie. her skin was already pale as all get out, there was no difference in the almost porcelain color of her skin after.. what happened. plus, she was so great at keeping it secret.

you, on the other hand.. let's just say she didn't love you for your ability to keep things under wraps.

it's normal for you to be a bit picky during dinnertime out in the wilderness, it was undeniable how badly morale had been down ever since winter started. and the pertinent hunger for something beyond food wasn't helping in any way, shape, or form.

the blonde strips of hair were the first thing you noticed coming into your vision, the ends crisp and wispy from the lack of proper care deep into the woods. then, natalie's sweet, soft murmurs hit your ears next.

"i know what it's like, but you need to eat." she whispered, a hand on the edge of your shirt, simply resting there to try and establish some sort of connection between the two of you. there's not normally much whenever you were in front of the whole team, but she knew you needed it right now.

your eyes met her own in an unspoken agreement, words unsaid between the two of you flooding out through your shared glances.

she immediately grabbed your hand, mumbling a reason to the rest of the group on why you two were leaving. then, without a single word of explanation, she helped you into the attic, hands soft and guiding as they rested upon your thighs as you sat down.

"what, love, what?" she asked, eyes carrying that tender look you knew all too well. her voice kept it's same raspy cadence, still pertinent in the worst of situations.

"nat.." you whispered, your body pleading for something she had become familiar with. "it hurts.. it feels like my insides are being torn apart–my head hurts–" you complained, being met with her soft fingers moving to your face.

"okay, okay.." she said, sighing softly and finally relenting, standing up with a gentle reluctance. she slowly held up her wrist to your mouth, allowing your teeth to dig in into the warm flesh.

there was a small moment before the feeling finally hit, the feeling of warmth moving down your throat and red blood staining your lips. whenever you pulled away, natalie covered her wrist in silence and removed the blood from the corner of your mouth.

there was an understanding in her eyes, words slipping from her soft lips. "it feels dull for a while.. like something you just can't tame. but, i promise, i wouldn't have done it unless i knew it would make you feel better." she said, hands cupping your face. "i love you.."

the innocence of the words felt odd in the situation, in such a time where everything went to hell. but, you knew when she said it, she meant it. there was a sweetness lingering in the air, in something other than the taste in your mouth.

her lips pressed to your head, a silent way of punctuating her words in a way that could only mean one thing.

she knew that you were making it out, no matter what happened to her.

have a great day, a great night, or a great life! <3

the entire night had passed in an insignificantly short blur, from the shots of disgusting rum you had forced yourself to swallow to the hands that shoved your shoulders around the large house; you were so ready to go home.

brittany had convinced you to come to some random rager thrown by the most intolerable people at your school. she had told you that this amazing guy would be there, one that you would undoubtedly "fall head over heels for immediately."

and upon meeting this absolute prick of a guy, you were sure that brittany had lost her mind. the entire excruciatingly long five-minute conversation you two had was unbearable to say the absolute least, filled with anecdotes of how amazing he played at his last game and how you need to "smile more."

you had managed to slip out of the situation with a loose excuse of needing to use the restroom, rolling your eyes so far back in your skull whenever you finally were torn away from his annoyingly loud voice.

in the blink of an eye, you were met with a pair of stairs, shoving your way up them groggily as you prayed that you could find anyone who knew where the exit to this maze of a house was. fingers coiled around each and every doorknob in the second-floor hallway, either being met with empty rooms or couples making out on beds.

the final room was actually a bathroom, one you had just decided to shove yourself into and lock the door to. your chest heaved dramatically as you made your way over to the sink, eyes rimmed with mascara that had become even more messed up from the course of the night.

the crumpled reflection you saw staring back at you wasn't one you had recognized, an altered version of a face you had been seeing your entire life. you looked dissipated, cracked lips red with the lip stain you had applied during the start of the party. and when had you started crying?

a slow, shallow exhale leaves your mouth before you look around the tiled floor, making your way to the corner of the room and sinking into the wall. your knees buckled beneath you, burying your head into them and sobbing even harder. you had zero clue why you were crying, but you were, and now it was like the faucet simply just wouldn't turn off.

hazel had zero clue where the hell she would even find a bathroom in this giant house, but she knew that asking other people probably wouldn't do her any good. she stumbled around downstairs for approximately four minutes before darting upstairs to get away from every sound and light that was digging into her cranium. why did she even come to this thing in the first place?

her ring-covered hand pushed open the door at the end of the hallway, eyes widening when she was in fact met with a bathroom, but it came with a girl inside wailing into her dress.

she cleared her throat, lingering near the door with a face that held about a trillion emotions.

your head cocked up at the sound, eyes meeting a bright blue pair that stood near the white wood, lips parted as if they were about to start speaking any second now. spoiler warning: they did not.

you immediately push your way up from the floor, chewing into your bottom lip as you struggle to form words yourself.

hazel recognized you in a single second. she had seen you around the neighborhood she lives in, seen you getting the mail or dancing through your window. but most of all, she had seen you crying on the porch over a good book or sobbing inside your room listening to music.

this felt straight out of a dream.

to your absolute surprise, the shaggy-haired girl in front of you spoke. "hey... are you… okay?" she said, fingers leaving the door handle and going to her other hand, twiddling together carefully.

before you can will yourself to make up a lie, you find your head already shaking. it was like there was some presence about this girl that didn't allow you to tell her a single false truth. her face softened at the motion, slowly closing the door behind her and whispering again.

"what happened?" hazel asked. her eyes were chock-full of care, even though you had never met before. but there was a simple second feeling you got from her gaze: warmth.

your shoulders shrug, lips pursing, and feet dragging you just a step closer. "i really don't even know," you say, a dry laugh slipping from your mouth. "i just want to go home."

in the time that you were talking, hazel had taken it upon herself to study you. she noticed the brown loafers on your feet paired with knee-length white socks, matching the jacket you wore perfectly. her eyes took in the white dress you had on, ruffles tossed about the stitching tenderly. she normally didn't care for such fashion, but something about it on you just made her fall in love with it.

without thinking, her voice emerged from within her again, "i could take you home," she said, tilting her head to the side ever so slightly, wishing that for some odd reason, you would say yes.

and you did.

hazel led you out of the house with a careful precision, hand intertwined with your own to make sure she didn't lose you. she needed to know that this was real.

once you had made it to the street, a soft calm lingered over the two of you. now it was your turn to study the girl beside you.

she was wearing something akin to a white button-up shirt with red detailing, a red carabiner on her dark-wash denim jeans, and silver jewelry all across her hands. which, coincidentally, were still interlocked with your own. you pretended not to notice, pretended that the feeling sparked something in you that you hadn't felt in all of the guys brittany had tried to set you up with.

suddenly, your mind caught up with you, remembering where that familiar smile had first come up in your head. you had seen her at school before, walking with two other girls who looked as if they wanted nothing to do with her. you remembered feeling horrible for the girl, wishing you could just go up to her and pry her away from the people you knew she called her friends.

you felt a heaviness in your chest at the memory, a silent apology surfacing in your head. you gently leaned your head on her shoulder, continuing to walk with her in utter bliss.

hazel's fingers caressed your hand with a care that practically radiated off of her body, only daring to stop whenever you reached the familiar outline of your house again.

a frown etched onto your mouth as you let go of her hand, turning to face her. "this is my stop."

hazel nodded, clearing her throat. "yeah," the awkwardness was not lost on her.

you smiled sweetly, trying to ease the sudden pain this goodbye brought to you. "thanks for walking me home…" you said, letting the condolences linger in the air. your body willed you to walk away, even if it felt like your heart was tugging you in her direction.

you made it up the first step before you froze. what was this? you felt emptiness building inside you. and without a single second more of deliberation, you knew what to do.

turning on your heels, you gently brought hazel's face to meet your own, lips pressed on hers in another soft 'thank you.' her hands came up to frame your face, holding you like you were the most delicate thing she had ever had the privilege to touch.

you pulled apart in a frenzy of giggles, immediately dipping back in to catch her lips again. she just made you feel safe, and she certainly wasn't going to ask you to "smile more."