catastrophicxfailure

“He’s smarter than you think, but just to be safe, I’ll make sure he and Dani stay far away from each other so no one gets any bright ideas about your inevitable doom.” Green hues followed the other’s movements, the backs of hands her thumbs have spent hours running against reassuringly, lovingly, wiping tear tracks from her damp cheeks. A breath fell from her lips, whispered in the darkness as the tension in the air dissipated a little more as each second passed.

Then a hand lifted between them, holding still in the empty air, and the alcohol Sydney had that night swirled uncomfortably in her stomach until the brunette’s words caught up with her thoughts. Keys. Right. “Oh.” She swallowed hard and dropped her gaze as she stuffed her own hand into the pocket of the leather jacket and pulled the keys out. The same keys she’d held in her hands so many times before felt foreign and cool in her palm and she hesitantly dropped them into Carmen’s, ignoring the way her skin caught on fire the second it brushed against the other’s. “Thanks. I…” Her words trailed off as she stuffed her hands back into the pockets of the jacket and moved toward the car she knew was Carmen’s (as though she could ever forget it). She paused when they made it, stilling by the door of the side that used to be hers, and faced the other. “Why did it take you forty-five days to say any of this to me? If you didn’t mean what you said before you walked out… why did this take so long?”

although carmen was grateful they could still fall back on humor, it did little to quiet the thoughts that continued to gnaw at her. in a perfect world, she would've given sydney every part of herself she'd spent so long holding back. maybe then there would've been room for the kind of friendship with dani that she knew sydney had always quietly hoped for. maybe carlos wouldn't have looked at her with that familiar disappointment. maybe none of this would've unraveled the way it had. but perfect worlds had never been carmen's specialty. instead, her pride got in the way. her fear got in the way. and now they were standing in the aftermath of it. "you guys really thought of everything, huh?" her gaze softened as she accepted the olive branch for what it was. just a smile. small, fleeting, probably insignificant to anyone else. to her, it felt like the whole world. "oh, how nice of you." the faintest trace of amusement touched her voice. "i think just to be safe, i'll be sleeping with one eye open."

then the warmth of sydney's fingertips brushed against her palm, and the contact hit her like a live wire. her heart lurched violently against her ribs. it was over almost as soon as it began — no lingering touch, no hesitation, just the briefest graze before it was gone again. somehow, that made it worse. the absence settled in immediately, nearly stealing the breath from her lungs. "you don't have to thank me." giving sydney a ride home was the least she could do. what came after was the part that terrified her. once she dropped her off, she had no idea when she'd see her again. tomorrow. next week. a month from now. not knowing left a hollow ache in her chest, one she promptly shoved aside for later. there would be plenty of time to spiral once she was alone. for now, she turned toward the car, falling into step beside sydney as her fingers curled around the keys in her hand. pathetic, really. all she could do was think about how badly she wished she were holding sydney's hand instead, or any other part of her she could reach. anything at all. some small point of contact to prove she was still there. but she wasn't nearly that lucky.

dark orbs dropped to the key fob, her thumb hovering uselessly over the buttons as the question lingered between them. sooner or later, she'd have to answer it. the truth was, she didn't particularly like the answer herself. realistically, she could have reached out. she should have. instead, everything she should've said came spilling out forty-five days too late. "i wanted to reach out. believe me, i thought about it a million times." carmen shifted, leaning against the side of the car as her fingers busied themselves with the keys, desperate for something to do besides reach for sydney. "and then i noticed you stopped showing up at the bar. i looked for you every time." the keys clicked softly beneath her touch. a nervous rhythm. a distraction from the thoughts threatening to outrun her. she couldn't begin to count the number of times her pulse had jumped at the sight of sydney's station walking through the door, only for her hopes to curdle into disappointment moments later.

"i thought maybe you didn't want anything to do with me, and honestly, i understood that." her jaw tightened. "i wanted to respect it. but i also don't think i trusted myself not to hurt you again." that was the uglier truth. even now, she was terrified of getting it wrong. terrified of saying the wrong thing, reaching too far, falling back into the same patterns that brought them here in the first place. but trying, even imperfectly, felt better than spending the rest of her life wondering if she could've been the person sydney deserved. "then you showed up tonight...and i saw you with antonio." something twisted painfully in her chest at the memory of him and his stupid bar tricks and the way he actually made sydney smile. "i couldn't just stand there and not say anything." her gaze drifted away for a moment before returning to sydney. "i'm so tired of holding back. all i've ever done is hold back."

She loved Carmen, even now, and so she stayed and she listened, even if she wished she were doing so forty-five days earlier.

“I wanted everything to do with you.” Her words came out fractured, as though they were forced through a space that had tried to choke them down and suffocate them until they were nothing but whispers of things she shouldn’t have said. Sydney thought about the days she spent in bed after the other walked out, the tears she spilled over and over every time she thought of that night, and she decided to keep that to herself.

Instead, she shook her head and her fingers tightened around the handle of the car door. “I wasn’t flirting with Antonio… and if he was flirting with me, I didn’t notice.” Not when Carmen was right there, within arm’s reach, for the first time in forty-five days. “I am sorry about making you dump out the drink, though. I was upset and frustrated with you… but the Tom Collins looked really, really good.” She could feel the drinks she had consumed that night ticking at the back of her throat, the taste that was usually mingled with the other woman’s by now. Sneaking away to the back of the bar to press heated kisses against Carmen’s skin during her breaks had always been Sydney’s favorite part of going out with her station.

Finally, she clicked open the car door, only pulling her hand away when it was open to slide the other’s jacket from her arms. It was like peeling away the comfort of a worn blanket and she found herself craving it as soon as it was gone, but she held it out anyway. “I don’t want you to hold back, I never have… I spent a year begging you not to… but putting myself into it all again…” The begging, the smoothing things over, the cycle that seemed to never end. “I don’t know if I can do it…”

Every time she'd begged Carmen to admit they were something more, every hint she dropped with every single thing she did, every time her hopeful green hues would glance the other's way when someone called them that as they were out and about — and now Carmen relinquishes the word from her lips where it'd been held hostage for the year they'd known each other.

Sydney shook her head, the loose blonde strands that had escaped from her bun swaying as she did. "Oh, she does want to kill you... some of the ways are really creative, I do have to give her some points there. But that's... it's not what I meant." What she meant was the fact that Dani is going to absolutely murder her when she finds out that she's gone and let Carmen back in after everything. Carlos. She missed him. Or, missed him as much as she could considering he still texted her daily... but it wasn't the same without the other woman being there too. "He would... but I'm not going to let him do that." Sydney sniffed, blinking back the last few tears that threatened to fall as she offered the brunette a soft shrug. "His ways are far worse than Dani's, they're sloppy and probably going to land him on a watch list somewhere."

In the midst of her sentence, she felt the touch leave the thick leather on her arm, her gaze falling to Carmen's hands as they lifted, lingered, and then fell to her sides once more. A sharp breath fell from her mouth, a regretful sound of longing if someone listened close enough. The inside of her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth once more and she let the silence of their own frozen bubble roll over them. "Can you drive me home... please?"

carmen's brow quirked, allowing herself, if only barely, the smallest flicker of humor. she was acutely aware of dani's disdain for her. the woman wasn't exactly discreet about it. not that carmen blamed her. if anything, she was pretty sure dani had every right to hate her, and carmen wouldn't have a leg to stand on in the argument. "oh? is that so?" the corners of her mouth twitched faintly despite herself. "happy she still thinks so fondly of me." because even now with swollen eyes and her heart split open in front of sydney, there was still that familiar edge to her sarcasm. some habits died harder than others. she took a beat, forcing out one last uneven breath as she tried to gather herself back together. having a complete emotional collapse outside of work after hours hadn't exactly been part of the plan. "i know she means well. she's just looking out for you." and god, the thought of sydney's best friend seeing her as a threat to sydney's peace now — that hurt more than she wanted to unpack. "all things considered, let's just hope she doesn't convince you to white oleander me." another weak attempt at humor threading through the exhaustion in her voice.

a soft, damp sound, something dangerously close to a laugh, slipped from her throat. as much as it hurt to see how deeply sydney had woven herself into the small world she shared with her brother, another part of her felt quietly, almost painfully grateful for it. carmen had spent years building that little safe haven for herself and carlos, something small and guarded and entirely theirs. and somehow, somehow sydney had become someone she trusted enough to let inside it. well. hopefully, still. "you make a fair point. i do appreciate you having his best interest in mind." she brushed the last remnants of tears from her face with the backs of her hands, even as the urge to wipe away sydney's lingered stubbornly beneath her skin. "would hate to see him end up on some watch list because i'm a massive idiot, y'know?"

walking and talking seemed to be a lost art form on them. by now, they should've been halfway to the other's house — that little yellow place in the distance with the deeply unsettling lawn gnomes carmen swore she hated, yet grew attached to anyway. instead, they hadn't even managed to make it past the bar. at this rate, driving seemed like the more realistic option. maybe then they'd actually make it from point a to point b without stopping to unravel emotionally. "yeah...of course." she hesitated before extending her hand toward her, boots scuffing lightly against the pavement as she shifted her weight. "i believe you're currently holding my keys hostage." the joke came softer than usual. all she could do was hope it landed. hope maybe, just maybe, it'd earn her that small, sweet smile she'd missed far more than she wanted to admit.

“He’s smarter than you think, but just to be safe, I’ll make sure he and Dani stay far away from each other so no one gets any bright ideas about your inevitable doom.” Green hues followed the other’s movements, the backs of hands her thumbs have spent hours running against reassuringly, lovingly, wiping tear tracks from her damp cheeks. A breath fell from her lips, whispered in the darkness as the tension in the air dissipated a little more as each second passed.

Then a hand lifted between them, holding still in the empty air, and the alcohol Sydney had that night swirled uncomfortably in her stomach until the brunette’s words caught up with her thoughts. Keys. Right. “Oh.” She swallowed hard and dropped her gaze as she stuffed her own hand into the pocket of the leather jacket and pulled the keys out. The same keys she’d held in her hands so many times before felt foreign and cool in her palm and she hesitantly dropped them into Carmen’s, ignoring the way her skin caught on fire the second it brushed against the other’s. “Thanks. I…” Her words trailed off as she stuffed her hands back into the pockets of the jacket and moved toward the car she knew was Carmen’s (as though she could ever forget it). She paused when they made it, stilling by the door of the side that used to be hers, and faced the other. “Why did it take you forty-five days to say any of this to me? If you didn’t mean what you said before you walked out… why did this take so long?”

admitting that what existed between them ran far deeper than anything they shared between the sheets was a feat. after a year of relentless denial, she couldn't blame sydney for questioning the sudden switch up. so when the question settled between them, carmen wasn't surprised. her red-rimmed eyes dropped from sydney's face, avoiding her gaze as she took notice of the tension held beneath her touch — where sydney had once softened so easily for her. "i think i spent too much time being terrified of what it would mean if this was real." her thumb traced slow, absent circles over the worn leather, clinging to the contact for as long as sydney would allow it. "losing this...losing you...put a lot into perspective for me." the breath that left her came uneven before dark orbs lifted to meet glassy green ones again. "i feel really stupid that it took me this long, but i don't want to pretend like the year i spent with you didn't mean anything."

much like sydney, she tried like hell to move on. carmen kept telling herself she'd eventually force her way through it, because what other choice was there after ruining something so completely? but overworking herself hadn't silenced the thoughts. if anything, exhaustion only left her defenseless against them. being surrounded by reminders of sydney she still couldn't bring herself to part with certainly didn't help, and neither did carlos's almost daily reminders of how good sydney had been to her. there were pieces of her still holding tightly onto sydney with a desperate kind of permanence, refusing to loosen their grip. because deep down, carmen had always known the truth: sydney was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

"i'm really sorry i put you through that." the apology felt painfully insufficient the moment it left her mouth. no combination of words could undo the damage she'd caused, nor soften the weight of it sitting between them now. actions mattered more than apologies ever would, and at this point, carmen didn't know how much she was allowed to give. not with the limited time she was allotted tonight. not that she blamed her for the time constraint. earning back even a fraction of that trust would take time. probably more time than sydney was willing to spare her. "you didn't deserve any of it." she forced herself to keep her gaze steady despite the devastation written so openly across sydney's face. "not just that night...everything."

i just see you. the answer was equal parts beautiful and terrifying. no one had ever seen her before. not like this. carmen had spent most of her life making sure of that. keeping people at enough of a distance that they never got close enough to reach the parts of her she didn't know how to expose without flinching. being truly known required a kind of vulnerability she never learned how to survive. and somehow, sydney became the exception. for a moment, carmen could only stare at her, stunned by the fact that sydney still looked at her like she was someone worth keeping after everything.

then the implication behind her next words settled in. carmen froze around it entirely, suspended in the space between disbelief and desperate hope, trying to figure out if she imagined it. whether her mind had twisted sydney's words into something softer, something kinder. because the alternative, the possibility they were real, felt far too impossible to touch. silence stretched between them, filled only by the rush of wind, the zipping of passing cars, the faint electric buzz of dying streetlights overhead. how was she supposed to focus on anything else now that there was even the slightest chance this might not be the end?

"you — what?" she blinked, brows pulling together as her lips dipped into a brief, bewildered pout. under any other circumstance, maybe she would've laughed. maybe she would've let herself hide behind humor the way she usually did when things became too real. but the words caught her too off guard for that. "i think you mean she'd kill me." the correction came automatically before realization settled in, making her stumble over herself quickly. "not that i'd give her a reason to. i just...i know i haven't exactly been great in the girlfriend department." her fingers tapped lightly against sydney's arm, tentative and restless. girlfriend. the word felt unfamiliar in her mouth, strange in the way all honest things seemed to be. "if it's any consolation, i'm pretty sure carlos would beat dani to it if i fucked up again."

without thinking, her hands lifted instinctively, drawn toward sydney's face like muscle memory. she stopped herself at the last second, fingers hovering awkwardly in the space between them as uncertainty settled hard in her chest. was this too much now? were they still allowed softness like that? the hesitation won. her hands dropped back down at their original position as she shifted awkwardly on her feet. "i really don't want to mess this up."

Every time she'd begged Carmen to admit they were something more, every hint she dropped with every single thing she did, every time her hopeful green hues would glance the other's way when someone called them that as they were out and about — and now Carmen relinquishes the word from her lips where it'd been held hostage for the year they'd known each other.

Sydney shook her head, the loose blonde strands that had escaped from her bun swaying as she did. "Oh, she does want to kill you... some of the ways are really creative, I do have to give her some points there. But that's... it's not what I meant." What she meant was the fact that Dani is going to absolutely murder her when she finds out that she's gone and let Carmen back in after everything. Carlos. She missed him. Or, missed him as much as she could considering he still texted her daily... but it wasn't the same without the other woman being there too. "He would... but I'm not going to let him do that." Sydney sniffed, blinking back the last few tears that threatened to fall as she offered the brunette a soft shrug. "His ways are far worse than Dani's, they're sloppy and probably going to land him on a watch list somewhere."

In the midst of her sentence, she felt the touch leave the thick leather on her arm, her gaze falling to Carmen's hands as they lifted, lingered, and then fell to her sides once more. A sharp breath fell from her mouth, a regretful sound of longing if someone listened close enough. The inside of her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth once more and she let the silence of their own frozen bubble roll over them. "Can you drive me home... please?"

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TW: kissing, crying, flashing lights

[LINK] In this gif pack you will find 452 gifs (275*167) of Melissa Barrera as Michelle in ‘The Copenhagen Test S01 (2025)’. I made these gifs from scratch, so please don’t claim them as your own and do not repost them in gif hunts (instead link back to this page). You may crop/use them in crackships & stuff, but please don’t forget the credit ! (& since I’m kinda curious, I’d very much like to see :p) Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Content warning : kissing, violence, flashing lights, firearms

where one or both muses are in need of help and / or comfort that could simply be fluffy or romantic – or lead to intimacy and / or sex. ( titled for easy reference. )

break-in.  my violent ex just tried to break into my apartment and you’re the police officer sent to investigate and wow , you’re so kind and understanding and protective and it’s been so long since i’ve felt safe around someone and i don’t want you to leave , can you please stay ??

getaway.  i’m the city slicker who stupidly took the wrong turn and crashed their car on the way to a small town airbnb cabin getaway , and you’re the local town doctor / nurse sent out to bandage me up and damn , you’re cute as hell and i keep making up excuses to prevent you from leaving just yet.

loss.  i am a recent widow / widower who is struggling to come to terms with everything , and you’re the neighbour i never bothered to get to know who lives down the street who went through the same thing several years ago , and you knock at my door to offer your condolences and help in packing up my partner’s things to donate to charity because they know that’s the hardest part.

injury.  i’m a retired professional athlete who was mildly famous back in the day who had to leave the game due to injury and now i coach little league / children’s spor.  you’re the new parent who rushes over to me when i hurt myself and– wait a minute ??  how did you know i had a bad knee ?? turns out you were a fan back in the day and you have no ring on your finger and your hand supporting my knee feels really good ?? and yeah , maybe i *do* need an x-ray… you could drive me to the hospital ??

disaster.  we met several years ago when both our partners / family members were killed in a natural disaster / freak accident and even though at the time we had a connection we weren’t in the right place to explore it. now at the one year anniversary memorial event , we meet again we’re both still alone without partners but the connection is still there and i think now it feels like the right time to go get a coffee.

strangers.  i’m the workaholic who always has to order takeout when i get home because it’s too late to cook and you’re the delivery driver who always gets assigned to me who knows me better than my colleagues do and we normally chat about how our day has been but tonight you’re not your usual self and you let slip your fiance just broke off your engagement and i end up inviting you in to talk about it / share the food.

teacher.  it’s parent-teacher night and the two of us get to chatting at the coffee machine and we both let slip we’re recently divorced and suddenly i realise you’re the teacher my kid keeps gushing about and now we’re talking about ‘extra support’ for my kid that he doesn’t even need just so we have an excuse to keep chatting.

city mouse.  i’m the city-lover who couldn’t wait to leave their small town after graduation who is now reluctantly back in town for a family event when my rental breaks down in the middle of the road , and you’re the stupidity attractive jock from my class who i used to fantasize about who offers to help me push my car to their mechanic shop.

vd.  it’s valentine’s day night and we’re both clearly single and waiting in line to order takeout at the local chinese restaurant by ourselves where it feels like we’re the only two single people in the city , and we get to chatting and laughing about our bad luck in love / our many failed relationships when the host / hostess mistakes us for a couple , and now suddenly we’re pretending we’re on a date so we can get the free valentine’s day dessert special ??

revenge.  i’m feeling bitter and vindictive about my cheating partner and i’m looking for revenge , and you’re the new , young , attractive junior executive who is clearly attracted to me because of my power and seniority , and suddenly i’m asking you to stay back late for your ‘ help on a project ’ that doesn’t even exist.

bonus !!

HERE you can find 185 high-quality gifs of Vanessa Kirby in Italian Studies as Alina Reynolds. All of the gifs were made by me; please respect my rules and do not repost them and/or edit them. Do not use my gifs for taboo themes and hollywood roleplays. Please, like or reblog if you find them helpful or use them. Thank you and enjoy! Trigger Warnings: Flashing lights, smoking.

Maggie is yelling now, and she doesn't want to bring attention to them. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "And then you show up with her. Sarah. Your girlfriend." She shakes her head, laughing now through watery eyes, "And you're doing fine. Like leaving me was the easiest decision you made. Like I meant nothing... we... us. Nothing. I have to sit with that. With this feeling that makes me want to throw up, it hurts. But I have to be fine, I have to 'feel my feelings' because I can't drink, I can't fuck the feelings away, I can't punch you or her in the face. Just got to feel it all."

"It didn't mean nothing." His voice fell firmly between them, finally interjecting something more than the stuttering he'd offered. Part of him wanted to let her stand there and yell at him, because this had to be his fault, but Keaton couldn't just let her go on without making sure she knew that what they had, what they went through, it meant something to him (and still did). "I mean, Maggie, c'mon. What was I supposed to think? Did I maybe get this wrong? Yeah, probably, but we weren't good for each other and journaling and therapy and medication doesn't — it doesn't erase how low we got, how — ." He ran a hand through his curls and bit his bottom lip as he glanced toward the house they were supposed to be inside. His dark hues froze on her. "That's not fair, Maggie. You can't tell me you love me now after all of this. Clearly love isn't enough, because I loved the fuck out of you and look where that got us."