Sade Olutola
DEAR READER
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Andulka
blake kathryn
Product Placement
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
art blog(derogatory)
trying on a metaphor
Cosmic Funnies
titsay
i don't do bad sauce passes
Misplaced Lens Cap
Not today Justin
shark vs the universe
Keni
AnasAbdin
$LAYYYTER
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@cataschism
CATASCHISM: independent, private, selective rp blog currently headlining MOON KNIGHT from MARVEL COMICS. heavily biased towards personal headcanons. dni if you’re under 18. by perce, 24, she/her only.
heavily affiliated with users strengthinus, absolventiia, ironwoven / sparedson
huge fans of and mains with users tridentide (sideblog)
LINKS.Muse list. Meta / hc post masterlist. (tbd) Exclusive dynamics / ships / bonds list. Activity fluctuation disclaimer.
RULES. below the cut.
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ON COMMISSIONS :
this is going to be a short and sweet post, but i've started working on some commissions for the rpc, specifically blog overhauls for $15 ( blog overhauls include : a promo, a post divider, header, pinned post, & dash icon ), and promos for $8.
some examples of my work are underneath the read more.
if you'd like to commission me, here's the link for my ko - fi ! if you commission me, please message me here on tumblr or on discord <3 sometimes my notifs don't go through.
Making a note here that I’ll then put this post on my pinned post as a disclaimer, but it feels impertinent not to mention that I seem to collect an entire host of mental disorders, including some that affect what I’m interested in. I’ll be super excited about rp tumblr and then the next couple of days or weeks or months* completely forget about it for other interests or my personal blogs. This is nothing against anyone here, and I totally understand if anyone unfollows. I will just refollow old mutuals to say “hello, I’m back!” This behavior is entirely due to my own mental health and the fact that I have a lot going on in my irl life at all times. I understand this may be frustrating for others, hence my making this disclaimer, but I also won’t apologize since… I can’t help it. Just so everyone knows ! It’s up to my mutuals how you decide to go forward knowing that I am like this, lol.
*I also seem to collect disorders that affect my perception of time, so the passage of time is really unclear. It’s really hard for me to estimate how long these fluctuations last for unless I am consistently checking my last post date and the time when I’m on again. Sometimes I think it’ll have been years since I last posted and it’ll be a month, and vice versa.
@driftcd demanded: Stop being so modest about your achievements! | prompt.
Fifty-four was a bad year for the both of them and fifty-five isn’t looking any better.
Esra’s first year mentoring after he’d won, and the year that Kade’s family, for the most part, got swept out from underneath him. He’s never asked—he doesn’t want to ask—why sometimes there’s a baby’s cry on the winds between their houses in the Four Village. ❛ What achievements? ❜ Esra hisses on the way to the Capitol. He draws his knees tight to his chest, having laid his white suit jacket on the floor, making him look sweaty and overdressed now that it’s gone.
❛ You don’t have any, and I don’t, either. We won a fucked up reality show—and good! Good! Now we’re alive, and we have to live with ourselves. I can’t even—my brother doesn’t wanna talk to me—your sister is dead! What modesty is there to have? And we just have to watch ‘em be thrown into a tub to be butchered. How do you even pretend to feel good about yourself? You make me sick. ❜
Curling into his knees, he squeezes his face at a hard and crooked angle. He covers his ears with his hands, pressing his heels to his ear canals. ❛ I make myself sick. I don’t want to talk to you. ❜
@cataschism sent in : "Who did this to you?" Ezz to his little finnick <3
the drugs have not been friendly tonight. they rarely are, but especially tonight, finnick feels himself growing sick. he doesn't recognize what esra is asking as his head spins the moment his mentor helps him to his feet ; he empties his stomach into a potted plant. finnick is seventeen. he's dizzy, and he's nauseous, and he wipes at his mouth. seventeen. one more year ! the man with the bright neon blue hair had said, when he gave him a champagne flute.
esra is staring at him, and is expecting a response. his white suit is still immaculate, this late into the night. no wrinkle in sight. impressive. " what ? " he asks. his throat is scratchy, and it burns, and there doesn't seem to be fresh air anywhere. " no one. i mean, i guess. " he feels crowded -- impossibly so. finnick runs a hand down his face. " is there something you want or . . ? " sorry, ezz. sorry, sorry, sorry. the drugs make him irritable, and angry, and also somewhat impatient.
" look, just back off ! " esra hasn't said anything, or even stepped closer. finnick still raves as if he's had. the alcohol goes straight to the teenager's head. what was in that champagne ? " god, do you have to be around me all the time ? you mental fucking lunatic. " oh, he'll regret that come tomorrow. but for now, finnick is absolutely buzzing. " the games are over ! congrats to me ! do i get to be fucking alone, ever ? " finnick gets sick, but holds it in, instead leaning over the balcony with a huff. the air even tastes polluted, up here. how is that possible ? esra is still here. finnick can feel him, in the same way he can feel mags or lucas. victors have a sense for each other, didn't you know ?
Esra’s smile is vicious &. blood-soaked. It’s lukewarm. It’s barely even a grin, more of a smirk; barely more than a line, it’s just the edges. Truth be told, a secret between the two of them, that’s how his face rests now, designed from the internal thread &. cords when they had him in the hospital, curled up into a ball and non-verbal for over a week.
When Finnick stumbles beyond him to the balcony, alcohol-stricken and delusional, Esra assumes parade rest where he lingers. He was never a soldier boy in his youth, but his therapist recommended him the persona. “sometimes it’s easier to be a person you’ve never been than a half-person you’ve always been, esra.” ha, owch. Sometimes she wounded him.
Esra doesn’t get a word in edge-wise before Finnick is howling at him; it’s not even him, really, there’s something in these designer drugs in the Capitol that make you into a mutt. It’s a reason he plays the sober card, pretending that his delinquency made him fail to possess consistent lovers, and if that fails, then he talks about his games, hoping that he’ll lose people’s interest in those slick stories. It just reminds me about how I felt, back then. You ever felt crazy? You wanna feel crazy? I can make you crazy, too.
❛ What do you want me to say, guppy? ❜ Esra asks. There is no thoughtful consideration left to put in his tone, but he tries it anyway. Merely soft, but not gentle, if there’s ever been a difference to Esra and Finnick. ❛ I don’t want you to take a swan dive. Is that so bad? ❜
Esra is crazy. The only non-fragmented parts left are Esra’s crazy parts, the parts that could remain and only happened after his Programming. And he’s sure he had them before as a symptom of his existence, but he doesn’t remember the beginning signs.
There’s only Esra now, leaving neon stains wherever he goes.
His smile grows, pinched by nerves. ❛ I’ll stop you if you try. Sorry. Really, I am. I just can’t seem to let you die. ❜
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THE GREEN BROTHERS died in ways different from each other, and yet the same. some say they may have deserved it.
KING AEGON died by poison, PRINCE AURANE died by water, and PRINCE AEMOND died by the sword. they will be remembered in history as some of the worst of house targaryen. (psd.)
reese is back nopony talk to me i’m celebrating in the streets. the favoritest aemond returns
i go bed now after writing a bunch (and taking my adderall at 11am was a mistake) but this is esra’s playlist for anypony interested! lucas doesn’t have his own playlist (yet) but i often listen to another oc’s playlist—a modern fuckboi oc i never talk about—when i write him. both of these boys are very specialest to me and i appreciate everyone’s interest and love for them 🩷
@tridentide demanded: tell me why you’re really here. | prompt.
Lucas is forty-five now.
Isn’t that strange, all things considered? Back before the second Quarter Quell, when he was still the youngest Victor by several years, Lucas was the top of the world, the cream of the crop. Merely him &. his legion of PKs who thought him useful. youthful. lithe.
❛ Peeta said you could use a friend right now, Finnick. And I’m just coming to offer that. You talk a lot about parties, right? I was involved in lots of parties, back before the rebellion, ❜ Lucas sits softly on the chair next to Finnick’s hospital bed. His graying hairs give away his true age, unburdened by his gently aging face, and the only wrinkles being where he smiles.
Like Finnick, Lucas never lost his looks over the years; the pinnacle of every Peacekeepers’ attention never relied on cosmetic surgeries to maintain his appearance / had the PKs found out, they would’ve called him a slug. as they had many others.
❛ It’s easy to miss, right? The feasts, the attention. To be honest with you, Finnick, there was a Peacekeeper who stayed with me in my house in the Village for many years. He, obviously, is not here. But I miss him quite dearly. The rebellion… it’s complicated. Messy. I.. I just want to let you know you have a friend, despite the chaos. ❜
@strengthinus asked politely: can you teach me how to do that? | prompt.
One of the better tributes, over the years. At least one of the luckier ones, he thinks. Eighteen is just when you’re curbing the expectation that you’ll inevitably die gruesomely one day while everyone you’ve ever known watches you struggle pointlessly, and then the cyclical nature of the games strikes you when you least expect it. It’s fun like that. It’s depressing like that.
Eighteen, though? You’re strong enough to beat half the competitors, just from the sheer luck of being alive longer.
❛ Hey, bitch, ❜ Esra says with a light grin on his face. ❛ That’s my whole job, right? It’s not like I was gonna get outta my Games without learning some tricks, eh? Best you have some up your sleeve, too. ❜
Esra’s booth contains dummies &. sharpening tools &. wood. It’s unlikely you’ll be in an arena without firewood. So he beckons Annie to sit, and teaches her the fastest way to carve wood, and how to pick out the best rocks for the task without relying on clipping your finger. ❛ Dying to an infection on your finger just because you can’t get access to antibiotics is gonna be pretty shit, so you never want to just hope you don’t clip your finger on a sharp rock. Always play for your life, girl, ❜ Esra explains, forcing the wood to a point, carving off chunks until it only reveals an edge and a blade. He hands over the new knife.
❛ Now show me where you hit their body to kill someone fast and dirty if they catch you. ❜
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@crestalls whispered: keep your voice down, they’ll hear us. | prompt.
Jesus, Esra pitied Annie. There’s the losers left behind in the Victory Tours like Esra—rotten to the core and only half that crazy—and then there’s the Annies, the Victors who never got the good life even before their shock collars got whipped up to one hundred. He can’t imagine Snow ever used her like Snow ever used him—some Victors you leave alone, even when you’re a sadistic bastard.
Esra crouches down next to her, trying to get to eye-level, where she’s curled up by the wall. ❛ Annie, you’re always one crazy bitch, but you have got to pull yourself together, now. Who is listening? ❜
If she has a lick of sense left, she’ll be able to understand that Snow is always watching. That they have microphones shoved up their butts and trackers to the side of their necks, implanted during their Games to always be found and never taken out. If she says Snow, and is that upset, well... maybe Esra will reconsider leaving Finnick to his devices with her. What a mess.
Showing his hand clearly, and then using it to tuck her hair behind her ear so he can see her face, he asks again: ❛ Who’s watching us, Annie girl? You got a scent? ❜
starter call? and also implied plotting call if i can’t think of something?
(remember my muse list is huge, so it’s kinda vibes based and what my friends want since the rpc is my sandbox and my barbies are endless—i’ll just choose something fun if you don’t want to pick in the replies)
@tridentide whispered: stop pretending like you care. | prompt.
God, he’s tiny. He’s tiny and this is miserable and Esra has felt worse many years in his life prior to this, and he will feel worse after this when this little shrimp inevitably dies and becomes another name in a list, but this is still bad. It’s bad and Esra doesn’t have any room left in his heart to be apologetic over how much worse this shrimp’s life will multiply in awfulness even more than Esra can believe. At least Esra lived so his life can suck, but Finnick’s will end in a glorious blaze of intestines and sobbing children.
❛ You’re right, bottomfeeder, I don’t really care, ❜ Esra’s tone is flat, but not from his lack of care about Finnick, but a sharply &. carefully carved out hollowness that he’s removed for both of their sakes. A mentor who cries over you is a mentor who’s not useful at all; Mags is better at pretending that she’s everyone’s mother, but Esra’s head still jolts with fresh electricity at night—leaving him disoriented and his throat dry, like back in the hospital. ❛ But I have to try. Do you understand that, in your little shrimpy brain? I don’t care. I can’t care. You think, after twelve years of Games, I can care? I’d be so disabled by my empathy at that point I wouldn’t even be a person. No, Finnick, I don’t care, because you’re not a person, you’re an object for the Capitol. So will you listen to me if I say that and confirm your fears? ❜
Esra exhales through his nose. He imagines scrubbing furiously at Finnick’s eyes, trying to clear them of childhood delusion. He’s come from a home of a nice family, some good meals in Four, a gentle-comparatively life. And now he’s getting coached by a man who cleaved his childhood friend’s face down lengthwise.
Not everyone gets happy endings.
❛ But I want to see you back home. Do you understand? I want you to come back to the Victor’s Village and lie down on the softest bed you’ve ever felt in your life, and not worry about having to make due on an insane quota of seafood for the Capitol per month and not have to buy a Tesseract to get rice. I want you back here, in front of me and Mags, and I want you in one piece. I want you home, my little Finnick. I want you back home. ❜
. . . but what no trainer could claim to have given him was his extraordinary beauty. tall, athletic, with golden skin and bronze-colored hair and those incredible eyes.
#tridentide : finnick odair of the hunger games franchise. book and headcanon - based. a sideblog written by ashe. 21 + / heavy tws apply.
✱ ˚｡⋆ ↪ MAKING DEMANDS ... [ REMASTERED ] ( a collection of various original dialogue prompts centered around posing requests / demands. adjust phrasing / gendered terms as necessary. )
memorize my coffee order, already!
quit fidgeting, you look suspicious.
stop comparing yourself, it's pointless.
give yourself a minute, [ name ]. you need rest.
don't move ... a single muscle.
can you teach me how to do that?
order room service – let's be lazy today.
pull out your ID, they card everyone here.
pack light, we'll be walking for awhile.
stop second guessing yourself.
don't say another word.
show me what you've been working on.
we're already late, can you hurry?!
we don't have time for this, [ name ].
just take the compliment, okay?
don't you dare just leave me here.
quit being so stubborn about this.
relax, i've got everything handled.
turn up the music! i love this song.
take my jacket, i'm not asking.
give me your hand, let's take a walk.
order whatever you want, it's my treat.
stop picking fights when you're tired.
meet me tonight ... our spot.
loosen up, quit being so serious all the time.
stay awake, you might have a concussion.
just let yourself be happy for once.
you have to stop sabotaging yourself.
tell me why you're really here.
drop your [ weapon / gun / knife ]!
quit trying to change the subject.
just breathe with me for a minute. in, out.
follow me and stay close.
just be yourself, [ name ]. that's all i want.
call me when you get home safe.
don't beg, it's pathetic.
stop trying to fix everyone else's problems.
can you [ tie / zip ] this for me?
stop lying to me. tell me what you did.
put that down, you don't know what it is.
tell me what you're thinking right now.
stay quiet until i figure this out.
tell me something i don't know about you.
come dance with me.
get out of my sight.
wear the [ item ] i bought you tonight.
take my arm, those heels look dangerous.
let me drive – you can enjoy the scenery.
can you stop hovering?
wait ...! hold still, i want to take a picture.
keep your hands where i can see them.
stop pretending you know what's going on.
find a first-aid kit. quickly!
you can't tell anyone what you saw.
take a nap, i'll wake you for dinner.
keep your voice down, they'll hear us.
don't you dare lie to me.
take the scenic route, we're not in a rush.
tell me a story from when you were little.
answer your phone when i call you.
give me your jacket, i'm freezing.
don't get yourself killed.
tell me what you see when you look at yourself.
tell me what you see when you look at me.
stop being so modest about your achievements!
leave them to me, just go.
just admit that you love me.
just admit that you hate me.
come here, let me look at you.
don't listen to them, they don't know what they're talking about.
[ name ], don't make me do this.
drop your [ weapon ].
stay here and wait for my signal.
don't just sit there, move.
take this and run, don't let anyone have it.
pretend you're my [ partner / gf / bf ].
don't look , you'll give us away.
stay with me, don't drift off.
stop pretending like you care.
go make sure the coast is clear.
take this with you. it's a good luck charm.
don't tell anyone about this.
if anybody asks about today, lie.
stop looking at me like that.
tell me you love me.
just kiss me, already.
talk to me in [ language ].
keep your eyes on the road.
stop crying and calm down.
give me one chance to explain.
come with me. there's so much we could do.
wear the [ dress / tie / item ] i gave you tonight.
show me how you like to be touched.
hold my hand.
kiss me, make it look real.
look at me. how many fingers am i holding up?
[ name ] ... will you marry me?
just slow down for a minute. what's going on?
take a deep breath, you need to calm down.
get out of here, [ name ]!
draw your weapon.
go rest. i'm not asking.
take a step back.
keep your promise for once.
quit assuming you know what i'm thinking.
give me a straight answer.
be polite to our guests.
look me in the eye and say that again.
put your feelings aside for a moment.
keep close to me.
here, let me see that.
look up at the sky.
run ... run and don't stop!
get out of here, i don't want to see you right now.
stand up, this isn't over yet.
close your eyes and count to ten.
keep your head down and keep moving.
[ name ], let me past.
listen carefully to what i'm about to say.
don't just stare, come in.
stop laughing, this isn't funny.
take this and hide it from me.
don't make a sound.
the sidewalk is slippery, give me your hand.
quit causing problems everywhere you go.
just admit that you don't know what you're doing.
stop right there, i mean it.
don't say that name aloud.
just trust me, okay?
stop acting so childish.
call the police. now.
tell me you love me, even if it's not real.
take a good hard look.
stop the car, [ name ].
let me walk you to your [ door / car ].
almost done, just give me five more minutes!
don't make eye contact.
stay out of trouble.
let me see that beautiful smile again.
just do it already, we've waited long enough.
hold me tight, and never let me go.
finish what you started.
tell me what you know.
quit being so melodramatic.
just stay away from me.
turn around. slowly.
don't be scared.
put it down before somebody gets hurt.
stop pretending , i'm tired of the pretending.
grab me my [ item ], will you?
don't make assumptions.
put this over it to stop the bleeding.
get to safety! i'll be right behind you!
stay the night, i hate sleeping alone.
wipe that look off your face.
keep an eye on them.
look at yourself in the mirror.
eat. you haven't touched your food in days.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Name: Esra Delaine, the 53rd Hunger Games Victor. Age: 16 at the time of his Game, 28 at the time of Finnick’s, 37 at the time of the 74th, and 38 at the time of the Quarter Quell. Gender: Male, he/him. District: Four.
Role as a Victor, and subsequent breakdown: Esra is one of many potential mentors for Four picks, but he most often is only there for public appearances and help training the children for interviews. Around the age of 22, Esra suffers a severe mental break and gets abducted from his Victor Village and Programmed for it. His Programming mostly involves erasing the people that helped cause the break (his younger brother, Betta, and a potential lover from One, Lucas.) Afterward, Esra’s personality gets flattened and stylized, as he only remembers the good parts of his Victory Tour and few and fragmented memories before, during his Games, and after. But no Programming is perfect, and as he sees more and more Games as a mentor, the memories begin to return.
Appearance, summarised: Esra is a normal Four looker, with nothing particularly special going for him either way. He has light, short brown hair, icy blue eyes, and has an angular, mean-looking face. His hands are strong and nimble, and his build has him standing at 6’1” with fair, maintained muscles. In his Games, he won using an axe and maintains the strength that allowed him to do so.
Personality, summarised: Esra Pre-Programming was a twitchy person, who tried hard to be cool and often failed to do so. He was told to play a bad boy/delinquent persona during the 53rd Games and did so with wavering adequacy. He personally killed his Districtmate in a fit of hysteria, and that began the start of his fragile mind.
After his Programming, Esra is a much calmer person, one who genuinely believes he was his stylized persona before the games. He also holds very little emotional attachment to anyone around him, and will have outbursts of anger with more intimate interpersonal relationships as they try to make him remember things he doesn’t anymore. As long as you only know Esra on a surface-level, he’s very reasonable.
Extra information:
a good and necessary understanding of who i am as a person when writing characters. i love writing the mfs you love to hate
