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Grand Duke Nikolai Lantsov of Ravka, pictured beside both halves of his heart.
so i read âwhat stays and what fades awayâ by goldtreesilvertree / @lottiesnotebook, wept profusely for a number of hours, and then had to make fanart lol
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Warnings- mutual pining, yearning, ANGST lots of ANGST
A/n- Look who locked in and wrote this in one sitting. This is pretty much my version of how i really wished Benedict realising who the lady in silver was scene should have went. Thank u so much for all the love on part one. Enjoy mwah!!
Taglist- (again tagging all the people who showed interest in this fic idea) @sailingthestarlessseas @the-massive-simp @beeepbooop1234 @glowingtree @voidreynolds @berrybigpossibilities @laanswife
Join my taglist by leaving a comment here
Word count- 3,045 (I went a little crazy ik)
Nikolai had a problem, a massive soul-crushing, gut-wrenching, mind-racking problem. Of what he thought would've been yet another one of the boring balls that he would have to attend , this one in particular and had completely knocked him off his feet and had entirely altered the very course of his life.
He'd met a woman so enchanting, so unlike anyone he'd ever met, and how yet still, so strangely familiar. But her identity had remained a mystery since she'd chosen to bolt as soon as midnight struck, right before he could find out who she really was.
Nikolai fell down into his seat, exasperation clear in his demeanor.
"I'm telling you Genya, I did not imagine her or- or anything she was there! Right there! and I danced with her. Or more so taught her to dance, as she didn't know how. " he explained.
He was in his study with Genya and David.
"A lady who did not know how to dance?" Genya repeated. "You're making it sound even more unlikely," she shook her head in dismay.
"I-" Nikolai threw up his hands in frustration. "I'm telling you! She is real!â
"Okay okay, I believe you, I do," Genya sighed. "It's just strange as to why the lady would simply run away as midnight struck," she shrugged.
Nikolai pressed his palms to his face in distress.
"Perhaps we can go over to the guest list again?" Genya offered.
"We already did like, five times!" Nikolai sighed. "I recognize the names of all those people that attended, and she was not one of them,".
Genya nodded, shook her head, "This is really a surprising turn of events,".
Just then, Zoya barged in. âCount Kirigin has-" Zoya began, and stopped mid sentence as she saw the distress on both Nikolai and Genya's face.
"What's going on here? You two look like someone who couldn't get the last slice of their favourite cake" Zoya tilted her head in question.Â
David set down his pen and turned to Zoya. "Nikolai has fallen in love with a woman at the ball who left before he could find out who she is," He explained and went back to his writing.
Zoya froze, blinked twice, then exclaimed, "I'm sorry, what!?"
"I-well not exactly in love," Nikolai attempted. "I was just taken aback and- enchanted-Â I mean, intrigued by the woman, I-wasn't"
"He's in love with her," Genya cut him off.
Zoya slowly stepped forward and sat down next to Genya. "It'sâŠthat serious?" She asked no one in particular.
"Yep," Genya pursed her lips. "We've checked the guest lists multiple times and still have no clue as to whom she may be," she explained.
Zoya rubbed her fingers acrossher eyelids, "Well this... very unexpected.
"It is," Genya agreed.
Just then, the doors opened once again. But this time it was you who entered.
"Moi Tsar I needed to speak to you about the-" But then you stopped mid sentence upon seeing the gathering and the distress on everyone's faces.
"uh- I- is this a bad time?" You asked.
Nikolai's head turned up at your voice. and his face lit up instantly. "Oh no not- not at all," He quickly reassured.
"What is it that you needed to discuss?" He got up from his seat and walked towards you.
"Oh- uhm," You blinked, the words having suddenly vanished from your brain. Then suddenly remembered, "right yes,".
"About the attacks on the northern border ,". you explained. "But I can surely come back later if you-" you pointed at the door.
"Oh no there's no need , we can absolutely talk right now, ".
Zoya and Genya exchanged a look.
"In the-uhm in the gardens perhaps?" he suggested.
"Yeah , whatever- whatever works best," you quickly nodded.
And he wordlessly led you out of his study.
***
You wanted to go throw yourself off the balcony.
Though it would probably not be high enough to kill you, but still.
It had been late evening when Zoya had come to you, sat you down and explained the entire situation to you.
"Okay okay okay," You nodded. "Quick-quick change of plans, I don't want to throw myself off someplace. I'm actually just gonna pop by the docks and jump into the sea! Saints!"Â You groaned and pressed your palms to your face.
"Calm down! You're making far too big of a deal out of this then it has to be," Zoya said standing in front of you.
"Big deal!? Zoya do you realize what you're saying? Nikolai! Is in love! With me! And he doesn't know! That it's me!" You waved your hands in the air, attempting to get your point across.
"Yeah Nikolai is in love with you!" Zoya repeated. She then lowered her voice and said, "The man whom you've been in love with for ages!," she whispered furiously.
You bit your lip so hard you nearly drew blood.
Zoya gently stepped forward and gently held you by your shoulders. "Just go speak to him and tell him that it was you he danced with."
"That it was you who he is in love with,".
You pulled away from her. "And what do you think that would accomplish!?" You whispered.
"He fell in love with a- a woman who expects to be a- a lost princess or a runaway noblewoman of some sort," You shook your head.Â
"He did not fall in love with me, he fell in love with the woman in the Silver Dress," The words burned your throat as you forced them out.
Zoya sighed, "I know, but if you tell him the truth, he will realise how blind he has been all these years for not seeing you." she attempted.
"It will not change anything, Zoya," You gritted your teeth. You forced yourself to meet her gaze. "I am a soldier, a mere soldier. Not a high rank officer, not a nobleman, not anyone worth getting the attention of the king!" your heart ached as you spoke.
"And I-" Your voice wavered. You breathed in, "I don't want to ruin the slightest semblance of a friendship that I have with him by giving into these- these foolish fantasies, I canât afford that!" you shook your head.
"Out of all people, I've always trusted you to be reasonable, Zoya," You turned to her. "I've always trusted you to see logic and reality in things, when I couldn't."
"So please don't do this to me right now because I cannot bear it," your lower lip wavered. "I can't bear it,".
You quietly turned away and headed towards the door.
"Wait, please!" Zoya attempted, but you were long gone.
***
It'd been days since the masquerade ball. Days since Nikolai had met a woman who had captivated him the moment he'd laid his eyes on her. But he still hadn't gotten the slightest clue of her identity. And as much as he disliked it, he'd quietly made his peace with the fact that he might not ever see her again.
But that wasn't what was bothering him, not anymore at least. What had put him in a state of distress was your sudden shift in demeanour.
Usually he'd get to speak with you for work, and even during the day outside of your work and simply about nothing in particular.Â
And even though he'd never had the courage to tell you, his conversations with you were the best part of most of his days.
But from the past few days, you had suddenly changed your demeanor towards him. You would speak to him less often, and that too only when you needed to.
Nikolai was walking in the gardens as the sun was beginning to set. He'd been racking his brain trying to figure out something he might've said or done that would've upset you, but he could come up with nothing.
Just then, he saw you walking towards the Little Palace.
He quickly called out to you and rushed in your direction before waiting for a response.
He stopped right in front of you. "Wait, please, wait," He quickly said.
You looked up to meet his gaze, "Is something the matter, Moi Tsar?" You asked.
Nikolai's heart sank.
You only called him by his title when you were around other people, not when you were alone.
Never when you were alone.
"I-" He began, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"Yeah it's just, I've been meaning to ask you," He looked down, struggling to say the words. "I- is there someway I have upset you? something I might've said or done?".
You blinked, taken aback by his question. "N-no not at all," You shook your head.
Nikolai pursed his lips. "No it's just- It's just that I've been seeing you a lot less lately. We barely get to talk anymore. "
"And I am wondering if I might've made a mistake with you. So please let me know if there is anything,". He pleaded.
You held up your chin. "No, I assure you there's nothing like that. "
"It's just- my duties have been occupying me much more lately." You shrugged.
Nikolai looked defeated. "Yes, but-"
"If you'll excuse me, Moi Tsar, I have someplace to be. I will be there when you need me,".
I need you now, he wanted to say.
But you turned on your heels and left before he could say another word.
***
You hadn't told Zoya yourself and she'd found out through another soldier. You'd signed up to go to the northern border to manage the Fjerdan attacks. Part of her hated herself for meddling so much in your life that it had resulted in you drawing away from even her.Â
 But she could not let you simply leave like this. She knew it wasn't right to keep this from everyone.
So she went to the one person she could.
"Genya I need to speak to you," She barged into her quarters.
Genya sat up on the sofa, concern clear on her features. "Zoya? Is everything alright? What's wrong?â.
Zoya sighed as she sat down next to her. "I've been keeping from you and everyone else from the past week,".
And so she told her about how much you wished to attend the events but always refused to. How she'd convinced you to attend the masquerade ball . How you've been in love with Nikolai for so long. And how you refused to tell him the truth.
Genya opened her mouth, closed it, then spoke, "All this was happening right under my nose and you knew!? Of all people?" .
"Wha- I know things," Zoya waved a hand in question. Anyways that's besides the point, what's important is that sheâs leaving for the northern border tomorrow. And she didn't even tell me," she explained.
"What!? We have to do something!" Genya exclaimed.
"Yes but she made it very clear she did not wish to tell Nikolai," Zoya groaned.
"Are you insane!? She's scared! And of course thatâs understandable, but we have to tell Nikolai he deserves to know!".
Zoya threw her head back into the sofa and exhaled. "You're right. He does."
***
After that particular encounter, Nikolai saw less and less of you. And it crushed him inside. He hadnât realized just how much he loved your presence, now that he almost never got to see you, never got to speak to you.Â
Hadn't realised just how much he missed hearing your voice, hearing you talk about the stars, or the your favourite flowers.Â
He missed the way your eyes shone when you'd be working in the sunlight, entirely unaware of his gaze on you. He missed hearing your laughter, which was ever so rare, but he cherished every moment he could get to hear it.
His thoughts drifted to the woman he'd met at the masquerade ball. No matter how captivated he had been by her presence, by her voice, by her eyes, the truth was, no one could ever compare to you.Â
He pressed his palms to his face as he sat at his desk contemplating every decision he'd ever made.
He recalled you and the masked woman.
A sudden halt came to the train of his thoughts.
He recalled the woman's voice, her laughter, and most of all her eyes.
And then
He recalled you
Nikolai slowly removed his hands away from his face and blinked.
"Oh." Realisation struck him like lightning.
"Oh!"
He stood up, chair scraping across the floor. "How could I have been so blind,â he breathed out.
He rushed out the door and almost collided with Zoya and Genya.
"Nikolai, we have something important to tell you," Zoya quickly spoke. "I have something important to tell you,".
"The lady in silver at the masquerade ball was Y/n!" she said.
Nikolai met her gaze, breathing heavily as his mind was already reeling. "I know," He quickly nodded.
Genya blinked, ""I'm sorry what!?".
"I know it's her!".
"You know!?"Â Zoya repeated.
Nikolai pressed his fingers to his forehead. "I had been a complete fool for not realising it sooner but- I just did!".
"I could recognize her in any form," he admitted.
"Wait, how do you know?" He asked Zoya.
Zoya bit her lip, "I- I had known the entire time," she admitted.
"What!?" Nikolai blinked.
"Yeah," she sighed. "In fact, I'm the one who convinced her to go to the ball, and leave before midnight."
Nikolai's mouth hung open. "Zoya! How could you have not told me that!?".
"Because she didn't want me to!" Zoya explained. "She-"
"She did not think you'd like it if you found out it was her," she sighed. "She thought she'd lose your friendship if you ever found out,".
Nikolai could feel his heart drop into a deep pit in his chest. "Why would she think that?".
Zoya hesitated
"Because she's in love with you, Nikolai," Genya said.
Nikolai could've sworn his heart stopped momentarily.
âWhat?" he breathed out.
âShe has been for a long time," Zoya added with concern laced onto her face,".
"Well that's-" Nikolai stammered. "I love her too!".
"I wish I had realised it sooner but I do now! I love her!" he admitted.
Zoya and Genya widened their eyes.
"Well you better go tell her fast because she's leaving tomorrow!" Genya exclaimed.
"Leaving? for where!?â.
"She signed up to lead the soldiers at the northern border, she leaves tomorrow morning," Zoya explained as quickly as she possibly could. "Now go!"
***
The three of them spent the better part of the evening asking everyone and searching every place in hopes of finding you. But you'd find all came up empty.
"It's almost as if she's vanished into thin air where else could she possibly be!?" Zoya huffed in frustration.
Suddenly, a thought struck Nikolai's mind. "I know where she might be," He told them and rushed outside.
Just as he'd predicted, he saw you standing by the door courtyard, staring solemnly at the place where the two of you had shared your first and only dance.
He called out your name.
You whipped your head in his direction but you quickly began to walk away upon seeing him.
"Please! Wait!" He rushed in your direction. "I know it was you!" He yelled out.
You stopped in your tracks and slowly turned to him.
He ran to you. "I know it was you! The lady in silver!" he elaborated.
You froze, "What?".
"I- I know I'm a fool, the biggest fool to not realise sooner but the truth is,â he met your gaze. "I could recognize you anywhere, in any form," he smiled.
You breathed, trying to blink away the tears for welling up in your eyes.
"And I understand why you didn't want to tell me but let me make this clear," he placed his hands on your shoulders.
"I love you. For who you are. I love you and I always have." He said out loud, at last.
"I just- I've just been far too blind too big of a coward to realise it sooner, but I do now!".
He slid his hands from your shoulders to hold your hands. "And perhaps some part of me knew it was you that night at the ball, that was why I had fallen in love then. But I have loved you for a long time," he breathed.
You met his gaze, unable to comprehend all that you were hearing right now.
"Nikolai I- " You struggled to form a sentence. "I have been in love with you for a long time," you admitted.
"And I had been a coward too. I had been scared that if- if I told you, I'd lose you," You sighed.
Nikolai held your hands tightly. "You will never lose me," He shook his head.
"Believe me, I will continue to pester you till the end of my days," he chuckled.
You laughed.
And he smiled fondly upon hearing it.
You looked back up at him.
He slowly reached out and held your face in his hands, brushing a finger across your skin.
"I could not let you leave, not like this," he whispered before leaning in.
It was you who closed the distance and gently pressed your lips against his.
It was the first ray of sunshine after a long winter, the sudden cool breeze against your skin on a hot summer day.Â
It was everything you could have ever wanted.
He kissed you back in an instant, holding our face so gently as if he was afraid you might disappear.
When you pulled away, he spoke, "Come back to me in one piece, will you?" He brushed your hair away from your face.
"For I would like to attend one of Genya's boring events beside you, if you would accept of course,".
You chuckled quietly and leaned into his touch. "Of course I will.".
Nikolai beamed.
 "And no disguises this time please," He placed his hands around your waist. "I would like to see all of you,".
You smiled. "No disguises," you shook your head.
"But I must warn you," You held up a finger. "I still don't know how to dance," you winced.
"Not to worry, I think I'm an exceptionally well tutor," he grinned.
"And I'm an even better student," you shrugged, before kissing him again.
A/N- Seriously considering of making up a posting schedule especially for this fic given how much I tend to forget my ongoing wips but okay we'll see lol. As of right now, the workload's much less so I've been writing a significant amount. But it's only a matter of time before life and responsibilities start kicking my butt again so we shall see
Let me know if youâd like to be added or removed from the taglist!
Ch-6 ~The calm before the storm~
~Anaya~
âWeâre done here,â Kaz announced. âIâll send word to each of you after I find us a ship, but be ready to sail by tomorrow night.â
âSo soon?â Inej asked.
âThe Kerch guests leave tomorrow morning,â explained Anaya. âSo weâll need to be behind themâ.
âYouâll be leaving with us?â asked Inej.Â
âFor most of the journey, yes,â said Anaya.Â
 She could tell that Inej had many more questions for her, but they would have to wait until later.
The gears of Anayaâs mind had already begun to turn. This crew was, of course, not her best option, but it was her only option as of right now. So sheâd have to make do.Â
Though as for what she was asking of them, she was lucky sheâd gotten a crew at all.
As for right now, she needed to head back to the Embassy and update her own crew.Â
There was much to be done.
âKeep Wylan out of trouble,â Kaz told Jesper as he dismissed them.Â
âWhy me?â
âYouâre unlucky enough to be in my line of sight, and I donât want any sudden reconciliations between father and son before we set sail.â
âYou donât need to worry about that,â said Wylan.
âI worry about everything, merchling. Thatâs why Iâm still alive. And you can keep an eye on Jesper, too.â
âOn me?â Jesper said indignantly.
Kaz slid a blackwood panel aside and unlocked the safe hidden behind it. âYes, you.â He counted out four slender stacks of kruge and handed one over to Jesper. âThis is for bullets, not bets. Wylan, make sure his feet donât mysteriously find their way into a gambling den on his way to buy ammunition, understood?â
âI donât need a nursemaid,â Jesper snapped.
âMore like a chaperone, but if you want him to wash your nappies and tuck you in at night, thatâs your business.â He ignored Jesperâs stung expression and handed kruge to Wylan for explosives and to Nina.Â
âStock up for the journey only,â he said. âIf this works the way I think it will, weâre going to have to enter the Ice Court empty-handed.â
âIâll need you to get cold weather gear,â Kaz told Inej. âThereâs a shop on the Wijnstraat that supplies trappers, start there.â
âYou think to approach from the north?â asked Helvar.
Kaz nodded. âThe Djerholm harbour is crawling with customs agents, and Iâm going to bet theyâll be tightening security during your big party.â
âIt isnât a party.â
âIt sounds like a party,â said Jesper.
âIt isnât supposed to be a party,â Helvar amended sullenly.
âWhat are we going to do with him?â Nina asked, nodding at Matthias.
Anaya eyed the girl. She hadnât spent enough time with her back at Ravka to get to know her. That wasnât her area of expertise. But she had the sense that the girl and the Fjerdan were chewing up on some big history. For now, she just needed to focus on keeping the two from killing each other.
âFor the moment, he stays here at the Crow Club. I want you dredging your memory for details, Helvar. Wylan and Jesper will join you later. Weâll keep this parlour closed. If anyone playing in the main hall asks, tell them thereâs a private game going on,â announced Kaz.
âWe have to sleep here?â asked Jesper. âI have things I need to see to at the Slat.â
âYouâll manage,â Kaz said. He turned to the rest of them. âNot a word to anyone. No one is to know youâre leaving Kerch. Youâre working with me on a job at a country house outside the city. Thatâs all.â
âAre you going to tell us anything else about your miraculous plan?â Nina asked.
âOn the boat. The less you know, the less you can talk.âÂ
âAnd youâre leaving Helvar unshackled?â
âCan you behave?â Kaz asked the Fjerdan.
His eyes looked murder, but he nodded.
âWeâll be locking this room up tight and posting a guard.â
Inej considered the Fjerdan. âMaybe two.â
âPost Dirix and Rotty, but donât give them too many details. Theyâll sail out with us, and I can fill them in later. And Wylan, you and I are going to have a chat. I want to know everything about your fatherâs trading company.â
Wylan shrugged. âI donât know anything about it. He doesnât include me in those discussions.â
âYouâre telling me youâve never snooped around his office? Looked through his documents?â
âNo,â Wylan said, his chin jutting out slightly.
âWhat did I tell you?â Jesper said cheerfully as he headed through the door. âUseless.â
Slowly, all of them began to file out of the parlour. Anaya passed a glance to Kaz before leaving after Jesper.Â
She stopped outside the parlour. And then saw Inej step outside.Â
For a moment, Jesper and Inej stood in front of her, with Wylan passing a confused glance to all of them.
âSoâŠâ Anaya began.
âItâs really you,â said Inej, relaxing her features.
âItâs really me,â Anaya slowly lifted her shoulders.
Jesper took a step forward. âJust to be clear, I wouldnât be hanged for hugging Ravkaâs Councillor, would I?â.
Anaya beamed, âYou wouldnât be hanged for hugging your friend.â
Both Jesper and Inej crossed the path in two strides and had their arms around her in an instant. Anaya hugged them back in an instant, feeling a sense of relief she hadnât in a long while.
When they pulled away, Inej looked her up and down and said, âSaints, youâve changed so much.â
Anaya fixed her sleeve, âWell itâs mostly the effects of tailoring so you know,â she shrugged. âI wouldnât be recognized on the streets.â
Inej rolled her eyes, âI know that,â she smiled. âI meantâŠoverall.â A faint look passed over her features.
Anaya understood. âYeah, well,â she sighed. âA year and a half of fighting in a civil war kinda does that to you,â she pursed her lips.
âWhen your letters stopped coming, we were so worried,â Jesper admitted, looking down at his feet.
Anaya felt a pang of guilt in her chest.
âYeah, life got very messy afterwards, you have no idea,â she quietly shook her head.
Jesper nodded once.
âBut hey when I heard who they made Ravkaâs new head of council I knew it was you,â he quickly turned back to her.
âOh please,â Inej rolled her eyes. âHe was in denial, I was the one who knew it would be you.â she said, earning a fake wounded look from Jesper.
Anaya chuckled. âI missed you both,â she admitted with a fond smile.
Jesper stepped forward with a smile on his face, âWe missed you too,â.
Anaya opened her mouth to speak, but was disrupted by Nina clearing her throat.
âIâm sorry, what exactlyâŠis going on here?â. Her and the boy, Wylan stood at the corner of the alley, both looking equally confused.
âA heartfelt reunion?â suggested Inej.
âOf the most remarkable trio in all of Ketterdam.â Jesper boasted. âRead the room, Nina.â
Nina passed a confused glance to the boy, Wylan .
âYou twoâŠare friends with Councillor Nasrazeen?â she asked.
âMore like partners in crime,â suggested Anaya and refused to elaborate further.Â
âWeâll walk with you to the Embassyâ announced Jesper before looping his arm through Anayaâs.Â
The three of them began walking.
âWhat about us?â asked Wylan from behind them.
âJust walk with us,â said Jesper, rolling his eyes.
Anaya turned back to Inej and Jesper, âSo tell me whatâs new? Any gossip? Drama?â.
âOh like you wouldnât believe,â gasped Inej.
âAnika and Pim got together,â said Jesper.
âNo way!â Anaya exclaimed.
âOh yes way,â Jesper beamed.
âAy what about you?â Anaya turned to him. âDid you meet someone?â she flashed a grin.
âHe would if only he didn't spend so much of his time gambling or sulking,â Inej rolled her eyes.
âWha- I donât sulk!â Jesper pouted. âIâm simply waiting for the great love of my life to come along,â He shrugged.
Anaya rolled her eyes and slowly shook her head in dismay.
âWhat about you, Nej?â she turned to her. Then, lowered her voice and asked, "I take it Kaz is stillâŠan idiot?â
âAfraid so,â Inej pursed her lips.
âEnough about us, what have you been up to?â asked Jesper. âAny great romances?â He raised his eyebrows repeatedly.
Anaya rolled her eyes, âA- noâ she shook her head. âItâs- thatâs not really myâŠâ she slowly lifted a shoulder. âArea of expertiseâ
âPlus I have much on my hands already, you know? I donât have the kind of time for that.â She clicked her tongue and shook her head.
âOh hard disagree,â Jesper shook his head. âThereâs always time for a great romance.â He waved his hands dramatically.
Anaya rolled her eyes, chuckling.
The walk to the embassy was shorter than she had expected. And when they turned to the last street before the embassy, Anaya turned to the crew. âIâm afraid Iâll have to go the rest of the way alone.â
Jesper and Inej looked disheartened but agreed and walked away.Â
Anaya looked at the path ahead. There was still a long way to go, but for now, she was glad to be back with her friends.
*****
They'd all gathered in the common area. Vilenka, Elvira, the rest of the grisha and the first army soldiers.
They all sat around the table with Anaya sitting in front of them.
"You know that all of you will be leaving tomorrow morning on our ship, the same course as the Kerch Councilmen." she explained.
She leaned back in her seat, "Now you already know what the plan is and what each and every one of you are expected to do,".
She looked up to see their anticipating faces. "But you also know the danger you'll all be putting yourselves in."
"We're going into the territory, and not just any place- the biggest and most secure prison of a country that's been our enemy for decades." She explained. "The whole thing has a very real possibility for being a setup, an ambush, orâŠthey might have a far worse fate planned for all of us."
Fear passed creped into the room like a living, breathing thing.
"And if- saints' forbid, something is to happen to all of us.." She looked down at her hands, holding them steady. She looked back up at them , "There's no one coming to save us."
The gravity of the situation began to settle in like a heavy burden on all of them.
Anaya took in a breath, "That's why, tonight is the last moment any of you have."
The room grew eager once again, wondering what she meant.
"Should any of you wish to back out, now is the time." She forced herself to meet their gaze. "You can remain in Ketterdam until the rest of us return. Or even go back home. It's up to you."
She swallowed the lump in her throat. "because from tomorrow, there will be no turning back. Not for any of us." She quietly shook her head.
"Even our people back home don't know all the details of this mission- not the triumvirate, not even..." She sighed. "Not even King Nikolai."
"So you will not be questioned, won't be forced to return or accompany me.â
"That's all."She exhaled.
The room was quiet for a moment, and for a while, it was difficult for Anaya to tell what any of them were thinking.
Until Vilenka spoke up, "With all due respect Councillor," She began. "I know the risks of this mission. You've made it very clear from the first day you came to me." she said. "But I will stay, and I will go into Fjerda. Because if that's what it takes for me to be able to save my country, I will do it." She straightened her back.
"Me too," said Viktor, one of the Grisha. "We did not come all this way to back out now."
"I'll be accompanying you, as well." added Elvira.
A row of agreements came from everyone.
Anaya stood up, pride clear as daylight on her features. "Alright then" she folded her hands behind her back. "Let's go over the plan once again then."
For the first time in a long while, she felt hopeful. Because this time, she wasnât alone.
A/n- This is definitely one of my most widely anticipated fics and I had a LOT of fun writing it and leaving you hanging by the end đŒ but I can for sure do a part two if anyone would like to read it! This is inspired by the masquerade ball from bridgerton season four with my own modifications. Although I must warn you I haven't written much in the past couple months so I am a but rusty but still. Enjoy!!
Taglist- (basically tagging all the people who showed interest in this fic idea) @sailingthestarlessseas @the-massive-simp @beeepbooop1234 @glowingtree @voidreynolds @berrybigpossibilities @laanswife
Join my taglist by leaving a comment here
Word count- 1,766
Nikolai sighed as he excused himself to a corner of the ballroom, a glass of champagne in hand.
He looked around at the marvelous decorations, the chandelier gleaming and twinkling in the middle of the ceiling.
Genya had truly outdone herself this time.
It'd been her idea really, throwing a masquerade ball to enjoy the festivities and to show that the country was strong and their king capable enough to throw a good party.
And of course, almost all of the guests had seen this as the perfect opportunity to show off their daughters to him.
However, just like every other party, every other ball, this one also didn't seem interesting enough for him to actually enjoy.
His eyes wandered around the halls, finding all sorts of nobles dressed up in elaborate costumes and masks.
But they all really looked the same to him, gossiping and eyeing one another.
Until his gaze landed into a farther corner of the ballroom
Until his gaze landed on her
She stood amongst the crowd in a silver gown, and a mask of the same colour. The lights bounced off her dress as she moved.
She did not pay attention to anyone in particular and was simply seeming to enjoy her surroundings and the people around her.
Nikolai sat his glass down and shifted all of his focus on her. Just then, he saw several men approach her, asking for a dance. But she quickly took her dance card out of her hand and tucked it inside her glove, then showing her empty hands to the men who then begrudgingly left her alone.
Upon seeing her alone by herself again, Nikolai decided on approaching her.
âAre you enjoying the party, Miss?â He asked from behind her, startling her in the process.
She turned around and blinked, âOh uh-â she cleared her throat and straightened her back. âYes, I am,â she nodded, looking around. âEverything is trulyâŠsplendid.â She managed a smile.
Nikolai smiled, âWell I will have to thank Miss Safin as sheâs the one whoâs planned all of this,â he explained.
âOoh,â she tilted her head briefly. âSheâd done a wonderful job really,â she smiled again, stopped, then resorted to a quiet press of her lips.
Nikolai then remembered why heâd come to her in the first place. âMiss, if you donât mind,â he began. âMight I inquire with you about something?â.
She blinked rapidly, âYea- Yes of course. What exactly?â she asked.
Nikolai lowered his voice, âI saw you hiding your dance card just a moment ago,â he said and could see the distress quickly take upon her features.
He leaned forward, âWas it because of Duke Verakovâs terrible limb coordination or Baron IvanovâsâŠintriguing haircut?â he grinned slightly.
The woman suppressed her laughter. âOh no no I wish that were the case,â she shook her head. âThe- you see the thing is,â she stopped, clearly hesitating. âI donât know how to dance,â she admitted.
âAh,â Nikolai nodded, finally understanding. Just then, a thought struck his mind.
âTell me, would you perhaps like to take a break from all this,â he looked around, âand escape to somewhere far more peaceful?â he asked.
The woman seemed to consider his proposal for a moment, before turning back to him, âYes, I think I would,â she smiled.
A smile tugged at the corners of Nikolaiâs lips. He offered her his hand, which she took.
He quietly led her away from the prying eyes of the crowd and slipped out into the courtyard.
It was quiet, except for the faint music flowing in from the ballroom, and the sound of crickets outside.
The courtyard too, had been adorned with flowers.
âHere we are,â Nikolai announced to the woman as they stood in the centre of the courtyard.
She looked around, admiring the view in front of her.
"Do you like it here?" Nikolai asked, observing the look of endearment on her face.
"I do," she smiled pleasantly as she turned to him. "Well, what shall we do now that we're here?" she asked.
"Now," Nikolai held out his palm in front of her. "I shall teach you to dance, if you'll allow me," he smiled.
She looked surprised at his idea. "I- alright," she pressed her lips and nodded once. "But I must warn you, there will be a lot less dancing and a lot more of me stepping on your toes," she shrugged.
"I assure you I can handle a little bit of toe-stepping," Nikolai said. "Believe me, I've had my fair share of experience with that too," he shook his head, grinning ever so slightly.
She let out a small chuckle at his words.
She cleared her throat and declared, "Alright, then I suppose we can begin."
Without another word, Nikolai leaned down and slipped one hand around her waist, and held her hand with his other. "You see, dancing is not as difficult as most people make it out to be," he began.
He slowly pulled her closer and murmured, "You just need to feel the music, and let your heart guide you,".
He moved along to the slow melody coming from the ballroom, and she followed his guidance.
He looked into her eyes briefly, eyes which strangely, appeared far too familiar to him now that he'd taken a closer look.
She hesitantly moved closer to him.
Nikolai suddenly became aware of his own heart beating far too loud in his chest.
"I haven't stepped on your toes yet," she pointed out, breaking the comforting silence.
Nikolai pulled away to meet her gaze. "See? I'm not that bad of a tutor, am I?".
She chuckled, "Perhaps I'm not that bad of a student."
He laughed, and so did she. And he could've sworn it was far better than that her laughter was much more pleasant than any bit of music he'd ever heard.
Suddenly, the loud chiming of the clock echoed throughout the palace. The two of them pulled apart from one another.
Nikolaiâs heart thrummed in excitement, for the norm of the masquerade ball was that they were all supposed to take off their masks at midnight and reveal their true identity.
"Time for the big reveal." he turned excitedly to the woman in front of him.
But much to his shock, she did not look thrilled in the slightest. On the contrary, she appeared distressed.
"W-what's wrong?" Nikolai quickly inquired.
She blinked rapidly. "I- I have to leave" she announced, and barely looked at him as she removed herself from his arms and bolted before he could even understand what was happening.
***
You were in the utmost terrible state of dilemma. Nikolai was hosting yet another ball over at the Grand Palace. Though, the events were almost always Genya's ideas more than his.
But this time, it was a masquerade ball. Which meant, you one couldn't quite tell who was who entirely.
You were not invited of course, though you wouldnât be kicked out should you chose to attend. You were a second army soldier, not a Duchess, or a Baroness, or any significant title holding person, or even a close friend of the KingâŠmuch to your disappointment.
But you did wish to attend a ball someday, and maybe, just maybe, be able to see Nikolai outside of your required duties.
You knew such dreams were entirely foolish, but saints, your foolish heart still dreamt.
Only this time, since it was a masquerade ball, your General Zoya Nazyalesnky, and also your friend, had been trying her best to convince you to attend.
"I am telling you, it is far too risky and- and for literally no reason!" you threw up your hands in frustration.
You were currently seated in Zoya's chambers while she paced around the room, attempting to convince you.
" âFor what?â Excuse you, you're the one who's dreamt of going to one of these things ever since I've known you!" Zoya huffed in frustration.
"Yeah but those- those were simply, " you shrugged. "childhood fantasies, not something I would ever actually do," .
Zoya stopped her pacing, pinched the bridge of her nose briefly and sighed before sitting down in front of you.
"You're one of the oldest soldiers of the new Second Army, and-" she lifted a shoulder before saying, "one of the best,"
"Ah you said it now can't take it back," you pointed a finger.
"My point is," she continued, ignoring you. "Even if you did just attend one of these events it would not be such a big deal,".
"No but it would be!" you waved your hands. "It would be entirely unfair to other second army soldiers, come on now" you huffed.
Zoya rolled her eyes for what might've been the fiftieth time since the entire conversation. "My point still stands,".
"However," she raised a finger. "however, since this is a masquerade ball, no one would recognise you out of your kefta in a dress you wouldn't ever normally wear."
"Plus, you can just leave before midnight when everyone will take off their masks," she shrugged. "It's that easy.".
You pressed your lips into a thin line, distress clear as daylight on your features.
Zoya leaned forward. "Besides, I know how much you wish to see him during one of these events,".
You practically threw yourself out of your seat. "What!? Who!? " you shrugged. "I-I have absolutely no idea what you're speaking of Zoya Nazyalnesky!" you rambled. "I-I am a soldier, a very duty oriented and-"
"I know of your feelings towards him," Zoya explained calmly.
"What? To-towards whom? I have absolute no id-"
"Towards Nikolai!" Zoya said out far too loud. She leaned towards you, and lowered her voice, "Towards Nikolai,".
You bit your lip, looking down at your hands.
Zoya sighed, "It's not big news, I've seen it every day. How you stare at him when you think no one's looking and how you hang on to every word he says. It's kind of annoying actually,".
"But regardless, I know it all, no matter how much and for however long you choose to deny it.".
You sighed, admitting defeat at last and plopped back down in your seat.
"And if things go badly, he or no one else will know who you are. So no harm done," she shrugged.
You rubbed your hands across your face. "Fine," you groaned. "It's- it's just one evening" waved a hand in front of you. "What could possibly go wrong?" you sighed, but also strangely felt a thrill you'd never quite felt before.
Zoya's face broke out into a proud grin. "I have a certain silver gown in mind that shall suit you perfectly."
Warnings- mutual pining, yearning, ANGST lots of ANGST
A/n- Look who locked in and wrote this in one sitting. This is pretty much my version of how i really wished Benedict realising who the lady in silver was scene should have went. Thank u so much for all the love on part one. Enjoy mwah!!
Taglist- (again tagging all the people who showed interest in this fic idea) @sailingthestarlessseas@the-massive-simp@beeepbooop1234@glowingtree@voidreynolds@berrybigpossibilities@laanswife
Join my taglist by leaving a comment here
Word count- 3,045 (I went a little crazy ik)
Nikolai had a problem, a massive soul-crushing, gut-wrenching, mind-racking problem. Of what he thought would've been yet another one of the boring balls that he would have to attend , this one in particular and had completely knocked him off his feet and had entirely altered the very course of his life.
He'd met a woman so enchanting, so unlike anyone he'd ever met, and how yet still, so strangely familiar. But her identity had remained a mystery since she'd chosen to bolt as soon as midnight struck, right before he could find out who she really was.
Nikolai fell down into his seat, exasperation clear in his demeanor.
"I'm telling you Genya, I did not imagine her or- or anything she was there! Right there! and I danced with her. Or more so taught her to dance, as she didn't know how. " he explained.
He was in his study with Genya and David.
"A lady who did not know how to dance?" Genya repeated. "You're making it sound even more unlikely," she shook her head in dismay.
"I-" Nikolai threw up his hands in frustration. "I'm telling you! She is real!â
"Okay okay, I believe you, I do," Genya sighed. "It's just strange as to why the lady would simply run away as midnight struck," she shrugged.
Nikolai pressed his palms to his face in distress.
"Perhaps we can go over to the guest list again?" Genya offered.
"We already did like, five times!" Nikolai sighed. "I recognize the names of all those people that attended, and she was not one of them,".
Genya nodded, shook her head, "This is really a surprising turn of events,".
Just then, Zoya barged in. âCount Kirigin has-" Zoya began, and stopped mid sentence as she saw the distress on both Nikolai and Genya's face.
"What's going on here? You two look like someone who couldn't get the last slice of their favourite cake" Zoya tilted her head in question.Â
David set down his pen and turned to Zoya. "Nikolai has fallen in love with a woman at the ball who left before he could find out who she is," He explained and went back to his writing.
Zoya froze, blinked twice, then exclaimed, "I'm sorry, what!?"
"I-well not exactly in love," Nikolai attempted. "I was just taken aback and- enchanted-Â I mean, intrigued by the woman, I-wasn't"
"He's in love with her," Genya cut him off.
Zoya slowly stepped forward and sat down next to Genya. "It'sâŠthat serious?" She asked no one in particular.
"Yep," Genya pursed her lips. "We've checked the guest lists multiple times and still have no clue as to whom she may be," she explained.
Zoya rubbed her fingers acrossher eyelids, "Well this... very unexpected.
"It is," Genya agreed.
Just then, the doors opened once again. But this time it was you who entered.
"Moi Tsar I needed to speak to you about the-" But then you stopped mid sentence upon seeing the gathering and the distress on everyone's faces.
"uh- I- is this a bad time?" You asked.
Nikolai's head turned up at your voice. and his face lit up instantly. "Oh no not- not at all," He quickly reassured.
"What is it that you needed to discuss?" He got up from his seat and walked towards you.
"Oh- uhm," You blinked, the words having suddenly vanished from your brain. Then suddenly remembered, "right yes,".
"About the attacks on the northern border ,". you explained. "But I can surely come back later if you-" you pointed at the door.
"Oh no there's no need , we can absolutely talk right now, ".
Zoya and Genya exchanged a look.
"In the-uhm in the gardens perhaps?" he suggested.
"Yeah , whatever- whatever works best," you quickly nodded.
And he wordlessly led you out of his study.
***
You wanted to go throw yourself off the balcony.
Though it would probably not be high enough to kill you, but still.
It had been late evening when Zoya had come to you, sat you down and explained the entire situation to you.
"Okay okay okay," You nodded. "Quick-quick change of plans, I don't want to throw myself off someplace. I'm actually just gonna pop by the docks and jump into the sea! Saints!"Â You groaned and pressed your palms to your face.
"Calm down! You're making far too big of a deal out of this then it has to be," Zoya said standing in front of you.
"Big deal!? Zoya do you realize what you're saying? Nikolai! Is in love! With me! And he doesn't know! That it's me!" You waved your hands in the air, attempting to get your point across.
"Yeah Nikolai is in love with you!" Zoya repeated. She then lowered her voice and said, "The man whom you've been in love with for ages!," she whispered furiously.
You bit your lip so hard you nearly drew blood.
Zoya gently stepped forward and gently held you by your shoulders. "Just go speak to him and tell him that it was you he danced with."
"That it was you who he is in love with,".
You pulled away from her. "And what do you think that would accomplish!?" You whispered.
"He fell in love with a- a woman who expects to be a- a lost princess or a runaway noblewoman of some sort," You shook your head.Â
"He did not fall in love with me, he fell in love with the woman in the Silver Dress," The words burned your throat as you forced them out.
Zoya sighed, "I know, but if you tell him the truth, he will realise how blind he has been all these years for not seeing you." she attempted.
"It will not change anything, Zoya," You gritted your teeth. You forced yourself to meet her gaze. "I am a soldier, a mere soldier. Not a high rank officer, not a nobleman, not anyone worth getting the attention of the king!" your heart ached as you spoke.
"And I-" Your voice wavered. You breathed in, "I don't want to ruin the slightest semblance of a friendship that I have with him by giving into these- these foolish fantasies, I canât afford that!" you shook your head.
"Out of all people, I've always trusted you to be reasonable, Zoya," You turned to her. "I've always trusted you to see logic and reality in things, when I couldn't."
"So please don't do this to me right now because I cannot bear it," your lower lip wavered. "I can't bear it,".
You quietly turned away and headed towards the door.
"Wait, please!" Zoya attempted, but you were long gone.
***
It'd been days since the masquerade ball. Days since Nikolai had met a woman who had captivated him the moment he'd laid his eyes on her. But he still hadn't gotten the slightest clue of her identity. And as much as he disliked it, he'd quietly made his peace with the fact that he might not ever see her again.
But that wasn't what was bothering him, not anymore at least. What had put him in a state of distress was your sudden shift in demeanour.
Usually he'd get to speak with you for work, and even during the day outside of your work and simply about nothing in particular.Â
And even though he'd never had the courage to tell you, his conversations with you were the best part of most of his days.
But from the past few days, you had suddenly changed your demeanor towards him. You would speak to him less often, and that too only when you needed to.
Nikolai was walking in the gardens as the sun was beginning to set. He'd been racking his brain trying to figure out something he might've said or done that would've upset you, but he could come up with nothing.
Just then, he saw you walking towards the Little Palace.
He quickly called out to you and rushed in your direction before waiting for a response.
He stopped right in front of you. "Wait, please, wait," He quickly said.
You looked up to meet his gaze, "Is something the matter, Moi Tsar?" You asked.
Nikolai's heart sank.
You only called him by his title when you were around other people, not when you were alone.
Never when you were alone.
"I-" He began, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"Yeah it's just, I've been meaning to ask you," He looked down, struggling to say the words. "I- is there someway I have upset you? something I might've said or done?".
You blinked, taken aback by his question. "N-no not at all," You shook your head.
Nikolai pursed his lips. "No it's just- It's just that I've been seeing you a lot less lately. We barely get to talk anymore. "
"And I am wondering if I might've made a mistake with you. So please let me know if there is anything,". He pleaded.
You held up your chin. "No, I assure you there's nothing like that. "
"It's just- my duties have been occupying me much more lately." You shrugged.
Nikolai looked defeated. "Yes, but-"
"If you'll excuse me, Moi Tsar, I have someplace to be. I will be there when you need me,".
I need you now, he wanted to say.
But you turned on your heels and left before he could say another word.
***
You hadn't told Zoya yourself and she'd found out through another soldier. You'd signed up to go to the northern border to manage the Fjerdan attacks. Part of her hated herself for meddling so much in your life that it had resulted in you drawing away from even her.Â
 But she could not let you simply leave like this. She knew it wasn't right to keep this from everyone.
So she went to the one person she could.
"Genya I need to speak to you," She barged into her quarters.
Genya sat up on the sofa, concern clear on her features. "Zoya? Is everything alright? What's wrong?â.
Zoya sighed as she sat down next to her. "I've been keeping from you and everyone else from the past week,".
And so she told her about how much you wished to attend the events but always refused to. How she'd convinced you to attend the masquerade ball . How you've been in love with Nikolai for so long. And how you refused to tell him the truth.
Genya opened her mouth, closed it, then spoke, "All this was happening right under my nose and you knew!? Of all people?" .
"Wha- I know things," Zoya waved a hand in question. Anyways that's besides the point, what's important is that sheâs leaving for the northern border tomorrow. And she didn't even tell me," she explained.
"What!? We have to do something!" Genya exclaimed.
"Yes but she made it very clear she did not wish to tell Nikolai," Zoya groaned.
"Are you insane!? She's scared! And of course thatâs understandable, but we have to tell Nikolai he deserves to know!".
Zoya threw her head back into the sofa and exhaled. "You're right. He does."
***
After that particular encounter, Nikolai saw less and less of you. And it crushed him inside. He hadnât realized just how much he loved your presence, now that he almost never got to see you, never got to speak to you.Â
Hadn't realised just how much he missed hearing your voice, hearing you talk about the stars, or the your favourite flowers.Â
He missed the way your eyes shone when you'd be working in the sunlight, entirely unaware of his gaze on you. He missed hearing your laughter, which was ever so rare, but he cherished every moment he could get to hear it.
His thoughts drifted to the woman he'd met at the masquerade ball. No matter how captivated he had been by her presence, by her voice, by her eyes, the truth was, no one could ever compare to you.Â
He pressed his palms to his face as he sat at his desk contemplating every decision he'd ever made.
He recalled you and the masked woman.
A sudden halt came to the train of his thoughts.
He recalled the woman's voice, her laughter, and most of all her eyes.
And then
He recalled you
Nikolai slowly removed his hands away from his face and blinked.
"Oh." Realisation struck him like lightning.
"Oh!"
He stood up, chair scraping across the floor. "How could I have been so blind,â he breathed out.
He rushed out the door and almost collided with Zoya and Genya.
"Nikolai, we have something important to tell you," Zoya quickly spoke. "I have something important to tell you,".
"The lady in silver at the masquerade ball was Y/n!" she said.
Nikolai met her gaze, breathing heavily as his mind was already reeling. "I know," He quickly nodded.
Genya blinked, ""I'm sorry what!?".
"I know it's her!".
"You know!?"Â Zoya repeated.
Nikolai pressed his fingers to his forehead. "I had been a complete fool for not realising it sooner but- I just did!".
"I could recognize her in any form," he admitted.
"Wait, how do you know?" He asked Zoya.
Zoya bit her lip, "I- I had known the entire time," she admitted.
"What!?" Nikolai blinked.
"Yeah," she sighed. "In fact, I'm the one who convinced her to go to the ball, and leave before midnight."
Nikolai's mouth hung open. "Zoya! How could you have not told me that!?".
"Because she didn't want me to!" Zoya explained. "She-"
"She did not think you'd like it if you found out it was her," she sighed. "She thought she'd lose your friendship if you ever found out,".
Nikolai could feel his heart drop into a deep pit in his chest. "Why would she think that?".
Zoya hesitated
"Because she's in love with you, Nikolai," Genya said.
Nikolai could've sworn his heart stopped momentarily.
âWhat?" he breathed out.
âShe has been for a long time," Zoya added with concern laced onto her face,".
"Well that's-" Nikolai stammered. "I love her too!".
"I wish I had realised it sooner but I do now! I love her!" he admitted.
Zoya and Genya widened their eyes.
"Well you better go tell her fast because she's leaving tomorrow!" Genya exclaimed.
"Leaving? for where!?â.
"She signed up to lead the soldiers at the northern border, she leaves tomorrow morning," Zoya explained as quickly as she possibly could. "Now go!"
***
The three of them spent the better part of the evening asking everyone and searching every place in hopes of finding you. But you'd find all came up empty.
"It's almost as if she's vanished into thin air where else could she possibly be!?" Zoya huffed in frustration.
Suddenly, a thought struck Nikolai's mind. "I know where she might be," He told them and rushed outside.
Just as he'd predicted, he saw you standing by the door courtyard, staring solemnly at the place where the two of you had shared your first and only dance.
He called out your name.
You whipped your head in his direction but you quickly began to walk away upon seeing him.
"Please! Wait!" He rushed in your direction. "I know it was you!" He yelled out.
You stopped in your tracks and slowly turned to him.
He ran to you. "I know it was you! The lady in silver!" he elaborated.
You froze, "What?".
"I- I know I'm a fool, the biggest fool to not realise sooner but the truth is,â he met your gaze. "I could recognize you anywhere, in any form," he smiled.
You breathed, trying to blink away the tears for welling up in your eyes.
"And I understand why you didn't want to tell me but let me make this clear," he placed his hands on your shoulders.
"I love you. For who you are. I love you and I always have." He said out loud, at last.
"I just- I've just been far too blind too big of a coward to realise it sooner, but I do now!".
He slid his hands from your shoulders to hold your hands. "And perhaps some part of me knew it was you that night at the ball, that was why I had fallen in love then. But I have loved you for a long time," he breathed.
You met his gaze, unable to comprehend all that you were hearing right now.
"Nikolai I- " You struggled to form a sentence. "I have been in love with you for a long time," you admitted.
"And I had been a coward too. I had been scared that if- if I told you, I'd lose you," You sighed.
Nikolai held your hands tightly. "You will never lose me," He shook his head.
"Believe me, I will continue to pester you till the end of my days," he chuckled.
You laughed.
And he smiled fondly upon hearing it.
You looked back up at him.
He slowly reached out and held your face in his hands, brushing a finger across your skin.
"I could not let you leave, not like this," he whispered before leaning in.
It was you who closed the distance and gently pressed your lips against his.
It was the first ray of sunshine after a long winter, the sudden cool breeze against your skin on a hot summer day.Â
It was everything you could have ever wanted.
He kissed you back in an instant, holding our face so gently as if he was afraid you might disappear.
When you pulled away, he spoke, "Come back to me in one piece, will you?" He brushed your hair away from your face.
"For I would like to attend one of Genya's boring events beside you, if you would accept of course,".
You chuckled quietly and leaned into his touch. "Of course I will.".
Nikolai beamed.
 "And no disguises this time please," He placed his hands around your waist. "I would like to see all of you,".
You smiled. "No disguises," you shook your head.
"But I must warn you," You held up a finger. "I still don't know how to dance," you winced.
"Not to worry, I think I'm an exceptionally well tutor," he grinned.
"And I'm an even better student," you shrugged, before kissing him again.
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A/n- This is definitely one of my most widely anticipated fics and I had a LOT of fun writing it and leaving you hanging by the end đŒ but I can for sure do a part two if anyone would like to read it! This is inspired by the masquerade ball from bridgerton season four with my own modifications. Although I must warn you I haven't written much in the past couple months so I am a but rusty but still. Enjoy!!
Taglist- (basically tagging all the people who showed interest in this fic idea) @sailingthestarlessseas @the-massive-simp @beeepbooop1234 @glowingtree @voidreynolds @berrybigpossibilities @laanswife
Join my taglist by leaving a comment here
Word count- 1,766
Nikolai sighed as he excused himself to a corner of the ballroom, a glass of champagne in hand.
He looked around at the marvelous decorations, the chandelier gleaming and twinkling in the middle of the ceiling.
Genya had truly outdone herself this time.
It'd been her idea really, throwing a masquerade ball to enjoy the festivities and to show that the country was strong and their king capable enough to throw a good party.
And of course, almost all of the guests had seen this as the perfect opportunity to show off their daughters to him.
However, just like every other party, every other ball, this one also didn't seem interesting enough for him to actually enjoy.
His eyes wandered around the halls, finding all sorts of nobles dressed up in elaborate costumes and masks.
But they all really looked the same to him, gossiping and eyeing one another.
Until his gaze landed into a farther corner of the ballroom
Until his gaze landed on her
She stood amongst the crowd in a silver gown, and a mask of the same colour. The lights bounced off her dress as she moved.
She did not pay attention to anyone in particular and was simply seeming to enjoy her surroundings and the people around her.
Nikolai sat his glass down and shifted all of his focus on her. Just then, he saw several men approach her, asking for a dance. But she quickly took her dance card out of her hand and tucked it inside her glove, then showing her empty hands to the men who then begrudgingly left her alone.
Upon seeing her alone by herself again, Nikolai decided on approaching her.
âAre you enjoying the party, Miss?â He asked from behind her, startling her in the process.
She turned around and blinked, âOh uh-â she cleared her throat and straightened her back. âYes, I am,â she nodded, looking around. âEverything is trulyâŠsplendid.â She managed a smile.
Nikolai smiled, âWell I will have to thank Miss Safin as sheâs the one whoâs planned all of this,â he explained.
âOoh,â she tilted her head briefly. âSheâd done a wonderful job really,â she smiled again, stopped, then resorted to a quiet press of her lips.
Nikolai then remembered why heâd come to her in the first place. âMiss, if you donât mind,â he began. âMight I inquire with you about something?â.
She blinked rapidly, âYea- Yes of course. What exactly?â she asked.
Nikolai lowered his voice, âI saw you hiding your dance card just a moment ago,â he said and could see the distress quickly take upon her features.
He leaned forward, âWas it because of Duke Verakovâs terrible limb coordination or Baron IvanovâsâŠintriguing haircut?â he grinned slightly.
The woman suppressed her laughter. âOh no no I wish that were the case,â she shook her head. âThe- you see the thing is,â she stopped, clearly hesitating. âI donât know how to dance,â she admitted.
âAh,â Nikolai nodded, finally understanding. Just then, a thought struck his mind.
âTell me, would you perhaps like to take a break from all this,â he looked around, âand escape to somewhere far more peaceful?â he asked.
The woman seemed to consider his proposal for a moment, before turning back to him, âYes, I think I would,â she smiled.
A smile tugged at the corners of Nikolaiâs lips. He offered her his hand, which she took.
He quietly led her away from the prying eyes of the crowd and slipped out into the courtyard.
It was quiet, except for the faint music flowing in from the ballroom, and the sound of crickets outside.
The courtyard too, had been adorned with flowers.
âHere we are,â Nikolai announced to the woman as they stood in the centre of the courtyard.
She looked around, admiring the view in front of her.
"Do you like it here?" Nikolai asked, observing the look of endearment on her face.
"I do," she smiled pleasantly as she turned to him. "Well, what shall we do now that we're here?" she asked.
"Now," Nikolai held out his palm in front of her. "I shall teach you to dance, if you'll allow me," he smiled.
She looked surprised at his idea. "I- alright," she pressed her lips and nodded once. "But I must warn you, there will be a lot less dancing and a lot more of me stepping on your toes," she shrugged.
"I assure you I can handle a little bit of toe-stepping," Nikolai said. "Believe me, I've had my fair share of experience with that too," he shook his head, grinning ever so slightly.
She let out a small chuckle at his words.
She cleared her throat and declared, "Alright, then I suppose we can begin."
Without another word, Nikolai leaned down and slipped one hand around her waist, and held her hand with his other. "You see, dancing is not as difficult as most people make it out to be," he began.
He slowly pulled her closer and murmured, "You just need to feel the music, and let your heart guide you,".
He moved along to the slow melody coming from the ballroom, and she followed his guidance.
He looked into her eyes briefly, eyes which strangely, appeared far too familiar to him now that he'd taken a closer look.
She hesitantly moved closer to him.
Nikolai suddenly became aware of his own heart beating far too loud in his chest.
"I haven't stepped on your toes yet," she pointed out, breaking the comforting silence.
Nikolai pulled away to meet her gaze. "See? I'm not that bad of a tutor, am I?".
She chuckled, "Perhaps I'm not that bad of a student."
He laughed, and so did she. And he could've sworn it was far better than that her laughter was much more pleasant than any bit of music he'd ever heard.
Suddenly, the loud chiming of the clock echoed throughout the palace. The two of them pulled apart from one another.
Nikolaiâs heart thrummed in excitement, for the norm of the masquerade ball was that they were all supposed to take off their masks at midnight and reveal their true identity.
"Time for the big reveal." he turned excitedly to the woman in front of him.
But much to his shock, she did not look thrilled in the slightest. On the contrary, she appeared distressed.
"W-what's wrong?" Nikolai quickly inquired.
She blinked rapidly. "I- I have to leave" she announced, and barely looked at him as she removed herself from his arms and bolted before he could even understand what was happening.
***
You were in the utmost terrible state of dilemma. Nikolai was hosting yet another ball over at the Grand Palace. Though, the events were almost always Genya's ideas more than his.
But this time, it was a masquerade ball. Which meant, you one couldn't quite tell who was who entirely.
You were not invited of course, though you wouldnât be kicked out should you chose to attend. You were a second army soldier, not a Duchess, or a Baroness, or any significant title holding person, or even a close friend of the KingâŠmuch to your disappointment.
But you did wish to attend a ball someday, and maybe, just maybe, be able to see Nikolai outside of your required duties.
You knew such dreams were entirely foolish, but saints, your foolish heart still dreamt.
Only this time, since it was a masquerade ball, your General Zoya Nazyalesnky, and also your friend, had been trying her best to convince you to attend.
"I am telling you, it is far too risky and- and for literally no reason!" you threw up your hands in frustration.
You were currently seated in Zoya's chambers while she paced around the room, attempting to convince you.
" âFor what?â Excuse you, you're the one who's dreamt of going to one of these things ever since I've known you!" Zoya huffed in frustration.
"Yeah but those- those were simply, " you shrugged. "childhood fantasies, not something I would ever actually do," .
Zoya stopped her pacing, pinched the bridge of her nose briefly and sighed before sitting down in front of you.
"You're one of the oldest soldiers of the new Second Army, and-" she lifted a shoulder before saying, "one of the best,"
"Ah you said it now can't take it back," you pointed a finger.
"My point is," she continued, ignoring you. "Even if you did just attend one of these events it would not be such a big deal,".
"No but it would be!" you waved your hands. "It would be entirely unfair to other second army soldiers, come on now" you huffed.
Zoya rolled her eyes for what might've been the fiftieth time since the entire conversation. "My point still stands,".
"However," she raised a finger. "however, since this is a masquerade ball, no one would recognise you out of your kefta in a dress you wouldn't ever normally wear."
"Plus, you can just leave before midnight when everyone will take off their masks," she shrugged. "It's that easy.".
You pressed your lips into a thin line, distress clear as daylight on your features.
Zoya leaned forward. "Besides, I know how much you wish to see him during one of these events,".
You practically threw yourself out of your seat. "What!? Who!? " you shrugged. "I-I have absolutely no idea what you're speaking of Zoya Nazyalnesky!" you rambled. "I-I am a soldier, a very duty oriented and-"
"I know of your feelings towards him," Zoya explained calmly.
"What? To-towards whom? I have absolute no id-"
"Towards Nikolai!" Zoya said out far too loud. She leaned towards you, and lowered her voice, "Towards Nikolai,".
You bit your lip, looking down at your hands.
Zoya sighed, "It's not big news, I've seen it every day. How you stare at him when you think no one's looking and how you hang on to every word he says. It's kind of annoying actually,".
"But regardless, I know it all, no matter how much and for however long you choose to deny it.".
You sighed, admitting defeat at last and plopped back down in your seat.
"And if things go badly, he or no one else will know who you are. So no harm done," she shrugged.
You rubbed your hands across your face. "Fine," you groaned. "It's- it's just one evening" waved a hand in front of you. "What could possibly go wrong?" you sighed, but also strangely felt a thrill you'd never quite felt before.
Zoya's face broke out into a proud grin. "I have a certain silver gown in mind that shall suit you perfectly."
Warnings- mutual pining, yearning, ANGST lots of ANGST
A/n- Look who locked in and wrote this in one sitting. This is pretty much my version of how i really wished Benedict realising who the lady in silver was scene should have went. Thank u so much for all the love on part one. Enjoy mwah!!
Taglist- (again tagging all the people who showed interest in this fic idea) @sailingthestarlessseas@the-massive-simp@beeepbooop1234@glowingtree@voidreynolds@berrybigpossibilities@laanswife
Join my taglist by leaving a comment here
Word count- 3,045 (I went a little crazy ik)
Nikolai had a problem, a massive soul-crushing, gut-wrenching, mind-racking problem. Of what he thought would've been yet another one of the boring balls that he would have to attend , this one in particular and had completely knocked him off his feet and had entirely altered the very course of his life.
He'd met a woman so enchanting, so unlike anyone he'd ever met, and how yet still, so strangely familiar. But her identity had remained a mystery since she'd chosen to bolt as soon as midnight struck, right before he could find out who she really was.
Nikolai fell down into his seat, exasperation clear in his demeanor.
"I'm telling you Genya, I did not imagine her or- or anything she was there! Right there! and I danced with her. Or more so taught her to dance, as she didn't know how. " he explained.
He was in his study with Genya and David.
"A lady who did not know how to dance?" Genya repeated. "You're making it sound even more unlikely," she shook her head in dismay.
"I-" Nikolai threw up his hands in frustration. "I'm telling you! She is real!â
"Okay okay, I believe you, I do," Genya sighed. "It's just strange as to why the lady would simply run away as midnight struck," she shrugged.
Nikolai pressed his palms to his face in distress.
"Perhaps we can go over to the guest list again?" Genya offered.
"We already did like, five times!" Nikolai sighed. "I recognize the names of all those people that attended, and she was not one of them,".
Genya nodded, shook her head, "This is really a surprising turn of events,".
Just then, Zoya barged in. âCount Kirigin has-" Zoya began, and stopped mid sentence as she saw the distress on both Nikolai and Genya's face.
"What's going on here? You two look like someone who couldn't get the last slice of their favourite cake" Zoya tilted her head in question.Â
David set down his pen and turned to Zoya. "Nikolai has fallen in love with a woman at the ball who left before he could find out who she is," He explained and went back to his writing.
Zoya froze, blinked twice, then exclaimed, "I'm sorry, what!?"
"I-well not exactly in love," Nikolai attempted. "I was just taken aback and- enchanted-Â I mean, intrigued by the woman, I-wasn't"
"He's in love with her," Genya cut him off.
Zoya slowly stepped forward and sat down next to Genya. "It'sâŠthat serious?" She asked no one in particular.
"Yep," Genya pursed her lips. "We've checked the guest lists multiple times and still have no clue as to whom she may be," she explained.
Zoya rubbed her fingers acrossher eyelids, "Well this... very unexpected.
"It is," Genya agreed.
Just then, the doors opened once again. But this time it was you who entered.
"Moi Tsar I needed to speak to you about the-" But then you stopped mid sentence upon seeing the gathering and the distress on everyone's faces.
"uh- I- is this a bad time?" You asked.
Nikolai's head turned up at your voice. and his face lit up instantly. "Oh no not- not at all," He quickly reassured.
"What is it that you needed to discuss?" He got up from his seat and walked towards you.
"Oh- uhm," You blinked, the words having suddenly vanished from your brain. Then suddenly remembered, "right yes,".
"About the attacks on the northern border ,". you explained. "But I can surely come back later if you-" you pointed at the door.
"Oh no there's no need , we can absolutely talk right now, ".
Zoya and Genya exchanged a look.
"In the-uhm in the gardens perhaps?" he suggested.
"Yeah , whatever- whatever works best," you quickly nodded.
And he wordlessly led you out of his study.
***
You wanted to go throw yourself off the balcony.
Though it would probably not be high enough to kill you, but still.
It had been late evening when Zoya had come to you, sat you down and explained the entire situation to you.
"Okay okay okay," You nodded. "Quick-quick change of plans, I don't want to throw myself off someplace. I'm actually just gonna pop by the docks and jump into the sea! Saints!"Â You groaned and pressed your palms to your face.
"Calm down! You're making far too big of a deal out of this then it has to be," Zoya said standing in front of you.
"Big deal!? Zoya do you realize what you're saying? Nikolai! Is in love! With me! And he doesn't know! That it's me!" You waved your hands in the air, attempting to get your point across.
"Yeah Nikolai is in love with you!" Zoya repeated. She then lowered her voice and said, "The man whom you've been in love with for ages!," she whispered furiously.
You bit your lip so hard you nearly drew blood.
Zoya gently stepped forward and gently held you by your shoulders. "Just go speak to him and tell him that it was you he danced with."
"That it was you who he is in love with,".
You pulled away from her. "And what do you think that would accomplish!?" You whispered.
"He fell in love with a- a woman who expects to be a- a lost princess or a runaway noblewoman of some sort," You shook your head.Â
"He did not fall in love with me, he fell in love with the woman in the Silver Dress," The words burned your throat as you forced them out.
Zoya sighed, "I know, but if you tell him the truth, he will realise how blind he has been all these years for not seeing you." she attempted.
"It will not change anything, Zoya," You gritted your teeth. You forced yourself to meet her gaze. "I am a soldier, a mere soldier. Not a high rank officer, not a nobleman, not anyone worth getting the attention of the king!" your heart ached as you spoke.
"And I-" Your voice wavered. You breathed in, "I don't want to ruin the slightest semblance of a friendship that I have with him by giving into these- these foolish fantasies, I canât afford that!" you shook your head.
"Out of all people, I've always trusted you to be reasonable, Zoya," You turned to her. "I've always trusted you to see logic and reality in things, when I couldn't."
"So please don't do this to me right now because I cannot bear it," your lower lip wavered. "I can't bear it,".
You quietly turned away and headed towards the door.
"Wait, please!" Zoya attempted, but you were long gone.
***
It'd been days since the masquerade ball. Days since Nikolai had met a woman who had captivated him the moment he'd laid his eyes on her. But he still hadn't gotten the slightest clue of her identity. And as much as he disliked it, he'd quietly made his peace with the fact that he might not ever see her again.
But that wasn't what was bothering him, not anymore at least. What had put him in a state of distress was your sudden shift in demeanour.
Usually he'd get to speak with you for work, and even during the day outside of your work and simply about nothing in particular.Â
And even though he'd never had the courage to tell you, his conversations with you were the best part of most of his days.
But from the past few days, you had suddenly changed your demeanor towards him. You would speak to him less often, and that too only when you needed to.
Nikolai was walking in the gardens as the sun was beginning to set. He'd been racking his brain trying to figure out something he might've said or done that would've upset you, but he could come up with nothing.
Just then, he saw you walking towards the Little Palace.
He quickly called out to you and rushed in your direction before waiting for a response.
He stopped right in front of you. "Wait, please, wait," He quickly said.
You looked up to meet his gaze, "Is something the matter, Moi Tsar?" You asked.
Nikolai's heart sank.
You only called him by his title when you were around other people, not when you were alone.
Never when you were alone.
"I-" He began, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"Yeah it's just, I've been meaning to ask you," He looked down, struggling to say the words. "I- is there someway I have upset you? something I might've said or done?".
You blinked, taken aback by his question. "N-no not at all," You shook your head.
Nikolai pursed his lips. "No it's just- It's just that I've been seeing you a lot less lately. We barely get to talk anymore. "
"And I am wondering if I might've made a mistake with you. So please let me know if there is anything,". He pleaded.
You held up your chin. "No, I assure you there's nothing like that. "
"It's just- my duties have been occupying me much more lately." You shrugged.
Nikolai looked defeated. "Yes, but-"
"If you'll excuse me, Moi Tsar, I have someplace to be. I will be there when you need me,".
I need you now, he wanted to say.
But you turned on your heels and left before he could say another word.
***
You hadn't told Zoya yourself and she'd found out through another soldier. You'd signed up to go to the northern border to manage the Fjerdan attacks. Part of her hated herself for meddling so much in your life that it had resulted in you drawing away from even her.Â
 But she could not let you simply leave like this. She knew it wasn't right to keep this from everyone.
So she went to the one person she could.
"Genya I need to speak to you," She barged into her quarters.
Genya sat up on the sofa, concern clear on her features. "Zoya? Is everything alright? What's wrong?â.
Zoya sighed as she sat down next to her. "I've been keeping from you and everyone else from the past week,".
And so she told her about how much you wished to attend the events but always refused to. How she'd convinced you to attend the masquerade ball . How you've been in love with Nikolai for so long. And how you refused to tell him the truth.
Genya opened her mouth, closed it, then spoke, "All this was happening right under my nose and you knew!? Of all people?" .
"Wha- I know things," Zoya waved a hand in question. Anyways that's besides the point, what's important is that sheâs leaving for the northern border tomorrow. And she didn't even tell me," she explained.
"What!? We have to do something!" Genya exclaimed.
"Yes but she made it very clear she did not wish to tell Nikolai," Zoya groaned.
"Are you insane!? She's scared! And of course thatâs understandable, but we have to tell Nikolai he deserves to know!".
Zoya threw her head back into the sofa and exhaled. "You're right. He does."
***
After that particular encounter, Nikolai saw less and less of you. And it crushed him inside. He hadnât realized just how much he loved your presence, now that he almost never got to see you, never got to speak to you.Â
Hadn't realised just how much he missed hearing your voice, hearing you talk about the stars, or the your favourite flowers.Â
He missed the way your eyes shone when you'd be working in the sunlight, entirely unaware of his gaze on you. He missed hearing your laughter, which was ever so rare, but he cherished every moment he could get to hear it.
His thoughts drifted to the woman he'd met at the masquerade ball. No matter how captivated he had been by her presence, by her voice, by her eyes, the truth was, no one could ever compare to you.Â
He pressed his palms to his face as he sat at his desk contemplating every decision he'd ever made.
He recalled you and the masked woman.
A sudden halt came to the train of his thoughts.
He recalled the woman's voice, her laughter, and most of all her eyes.
And then
He recalled you
Nikolai slowly removed his hands away from his face and blinked.
"Oh." Realisation struck him like lightning.
"Oh!"
He stood up, chair scraping across the floor. "How could I have been so blind,â he breathed out.
He rushed out the door and almost collided with Zoya and Genya.
"Nikolai, we have something important to tell you," Zoya quickly spoke. "I have something important to tell you,".
"The lady in silver at the masquerade ball was Y/n!" she said.
Nikolai met her gaze, breathing heavily as his mind was already reeling. "I know," He quickly nodded.
Genya blinked, ""I'm sorry what!?".
"I know it's her!".
"You know!?"Â Zoya repeated.
Nikolai pressed his fingers to his forehead. "I had been a complete fool for not realising it sooner but- I just did!".
"I could recognize her in any form," he admitted.
"Wait, how do you know?" He asked Zoya.
Zoya bit her lip, "I- I had known the entire time," she admitted.
"What!?" Nikolai blinked.
"Yeah," she sighed. "In fact, I'm the one who convinced her to go to the ball, and leave before midnight."
Nikolai's mouth hung open. "Zoya! How could you have not told me that!?".
"Because she didn't want me to!" Zoya explained. "She-"
"She did not think you'd like it if you found out it was her," she sighed. "She thought she'd lose your friendship if you ever found out,".
Nikolai could feel his heart drop into a deep pit in his chest. "Why would she think that?".
Zoya hesitated
"Because she's in love with you, Nikolai," Genya said.
Nikolai could've sworn his heart stopped momentarily.
âWhat?" he breathed out.
âShe has been for a long time," Zoya added with concern laced onto her face,".
"Well that's-" Nikolai stammered. "I love her too!".
"I wish I had realised it sooner but I do now! I love her!" he admitted.
Zoya and Genya widened their eyes.
"Well you better go tell her fast because she's leaving tomorrow!" Genya exclaimed.
"Leaving? for where!?â.
"She signed up to lead the soldiers at the northern border, she leaves tomorrow morning," Zoya explained as quickly as she possibly could. "Now go!"
***
The three of them spent the better part of the evening asking everyone and searching every place in hopes of finding you. But you'd find all came up empty.
"It's almost as if she's vanished into thin air where else could she possibly be!?" Zoya huffed in frustration.
Suddenly, a thought struck Nikolai's mind. "I know where she might be," He told them and rushed outside.
Just as he'd predicted, he saw you standing by the door courtyard, staring solemnly at the place where the two of you had shared your first and only dance.
He called out your name.
You whipped your head in his direction but you quickly began to walk away upon seeing him.
"Please! Wait!" He rushed in your direction. "I know it was you!" He yelled out.
You stopped in your tracks and slowly turned to him.
He ran to you. "I know it was you! The lady in silver!" he elaborated.
You froze, "What?".
"I- I know I'm a fool, the biggest fool to not realise sooner but the truth is,â he met your gaze. "I could recognize you anywhere, in any form," he smiled.
You breathed, trying to blink away the tears for welling up in your eyes.
"And I understand why you didn't want to tell me but let me make this clear," he placed his hands on your shoulders.
"I love you. For who you are. I love you and I always have." He said out loud, at last.
"I just- I've just been far too blind too big of a coward to realise it sooner, but I do now!".
He slid his hands from your shoulders to hold your hands. "And perhaps some part of me knew it was you that night at the ball, that was why I had fallen in love then. But I have loved you for a long time," he breathed.
You met his gaze, unable to comprehend all that you were hearing right now.
"Nikolai I- " You struggled to form a sentence. "I have been in love with you for a long time," you admitted.
"And I had been a coward too. I had been scared that if- if I told you, I'd lose you," You sighed.
Nikolai held your hands tightly. "You will never lose me," He shook his head.
"Believe me, I will continue to pester you till the end of my days," he chuckled.
You laughed.
And he smiled fondly upon hearing it.
You looked back up at him.
He slowly reached out and held your face in his hands, brushing a finger across your skin.
"I could not let you leave, not like this," he whispered before leaning in.
It was you who closed the distance and gently pressed your lips against his.
It was the first ray of sunshine after a long winter, the sudden cool breeze against your skin on a hot summer day.Â
It was everything you could have ever wanted.
He kissed you back in an instant, holding our face so gently as if he was afraid you might disappear.
When you pulled away, he spoke, "Come back to me in one piece, will you?" He brushed your hair away from your face.
"For I would like to attend one of Genya's boring events beside you, if you would accept of course,".
You chuckled quietly and leaned into his touch. "Of course I will.".
Nikolai beamed.
 "And no disguises this time please," He placed his hands around your waist. "I would like to see all of you,".
You smiled. "No disguises," you shook your head.
"But I must warn you," You held up a finger. "I still don't know how to dance," you winced.
"Not to worry, I think I'm an exceptionally well tutor," he grinned.
"And I'm an even better student," you shrugged, before kissing him again.
A/n- This is definitely one of my most widely anticipated fics and I had a LOT of fun writing it and leaving you hanging by the end đŒ but I can for sure do a part two if anyone would like to read it! This is inspired by the masquerade ball from bridgerton season four with my own modifications. Although I must warn you I haven't written much in the past couple months so I am a but rusty but still. Enjoy!!
Taglist- (basically tagging all the people who showed interest in this fic idea) @sailingthestarlessseas @the-massive-simp @beeepbooop1234 @glowingtree @voidreynolds @berrybigpossibilities @laanswife
Join my taglist by leaving a comment here
Word count- 1,766
Nikolai sighed as he excused himself to a corner of the ballroom, a glass of champagne in hand.
He looked around at the marvelous decorations, the chandelier gleaming and twinkling in the middle of the ceiling.
Genya had truly outdone herself this time.
It'd been her idea really, throwing a masquerade ball to enjoy the festivities and to show that the country was strong and their king capable enough to throw a good party.
And of course, almost all of the guests had seen this as the perfect opportunity to show off their daughters to him.
However, just like every other party, every other ball, this one also didn't seem interesting enough for him to actually enjoy.
His eyes wandered around the halls, finding all sorts of nobles dressed up in elaborate costumes and masks.
But they all really looked the same to him, gossiping and eyeing one another.
Until his gaze landed into a farther corner of the ballroom
Until his gaze landed on her
She stood amongst the crowd in a silver gown, and a mask of the same colour. The lights bounced off her dress as she moved.
She did not pay attention to anyone in particular and was simply seeming to enjoy her surroundings and the people around her.
Nikolai sat his glass down and shifted all of his focus on her. Just then, he saw several men approach her, asking for a dance. But she quickly took her dance card out of her hand and tucked it inside her glove, then showing her empty hands to the men who then begrudgingly left her alone.
Upon seeing her alone by herself again, Nikolai decided on approaching her.
âAre you enjoying the party, Miss?â He asked from behind her, startling her in the process.
She turned around and blinked, âOh uh-â she cleared her throat and straightened her back. âYes, I am,â she nodded, looking around. âEverything is trulyâŠsplendid.â She managed a smile.
Nikolai smiled, âWell I will have to thank Miss Safin as sheâs the one whoâs planned all of this,â he explained.
âOoh,â she tilted her head briefly. âSheâd done a wonderful job really,â she smiled again, stopped, then resorted to a quiet press of her lips.
Nikolai then remembered why heâd come to her in the first place. âMiss, if you donât mind,â he began. âMight I inquire with you about something?â.
She blinked rapidly, âYea- Yes of course. What exactly?â she asked.
Nikolai lowered his voice, âI saw you hiding your dance card just a moment ago,â he said and could see the distress quickly take upon her features.
He leaned forward, âWas it because of Duke Verakovâs terrible limb coordination or Baron IvanovâsâŠintriguing haircut?â he grinned slightly.
The woman suppressed her laughter. âOh no no I wish that were the case,â she shook her head. âThe- you see the thing is,â she stopped, clearly hesitating. âI donât know how to dance,â she admitted.
âAh,â Nikolai nodded, finally understanding. Just then, a thought struck his mind.
âTell me, would you perhaps like to take a break from all this,â he looked around, âand escape to somewhere far more peaceful?â he asked.
The woman seemed to consider his proposal for a moment, before turning back to him, âYes, I think I would,â she smiled.
A smile tugged at the corners of Nikolaiâs lips. He offered her his hand, which she took.
He quietly led her away from the prying eyes of the crowd and slipped out into the courtyard.
It was quiet, except for the faint music flowing in from the ballroom, and the sound of crickets outside.
The courtyard too, had been adorned with flowers.
âHere we are,â Nikolai announced to the woman as they stood in the centre of the courtyard.
She looked around, admiring the view in front of her.
"Do you like it here?" Nikolai asked, observing the look of endearment on her face.
"I do," she smiled pleasantly as she turned to him. "Well, what shall we do now that we're here?" she asked.
"Now," Nikolai held out his palm in front of her. "I shall teach you to dance, if you'll allow me," he smiled.
She looked surprised at his idea. "I- alright," she pressed her lips and nodded once. "But I must warn you, there will be a lot less dancing and a lot more of me stepping on your toes," she shrugged.
"I assure you I can handle a little bit of toe-stepping," Nikolai said. "Believe me, I've had my fair share of experience with that too," he shook his head, grinning ever so slightly.
She let out a small chuckle at his words.
She cleared her throat and declared, "Alright, then I suppose we can begin."
Without another word, Nikolai leaned down and slipped one hand around her waist, and held her hand with his other. "You see, dancing is not as difficult as most people make it out to be," he began.
He slowly pulled her closer and murmured, "You just need to feel the music, and let your heart guide you,".
He moved along to the slow melody coming from the ballroom, and she followed his guidance.
He looked into her eyes briefly, eyes which strangely, appeared far too familiar to him now that he'd taken a closer look.
She hesitantly moved closer to him.
Nikolai suddenly became aware of his own heart beating far too loud in his chest.
"I haven't stepped on your toes yet," she pointed out, breaking the comforting silence.
Nikolai pulled away to meet her gaze. "See? I'm not that bad of a tutor, am I?".
She chuckled, "Perhaps I'm not that bad of a student."
He laughed, and so did she. And he could've sworn it was far better than that her laughter was much more pleasant than any bit of music he'd ever heard.
Suddenly, the loud chiming of the clock echoed throughout the palace. The two of them pulled apart from one another.
Nikolaiâs heart thrummed in excitement, for the norm of the masquerade ball was that they were all supposed to take off their masks at midnight and reveal their true identity.
"Time for the big reveal." he turned excitedly to the woman in front of him.
But much to his shock, she did not look thrilled in the slightest. On the contrary, she appeared distressed.
"W-what's wrong?" Nikolai quickly inquired.
She blinked rapidly. "I- I have to leave" she announced, and barely looked at him as she removed herself from his arms and bolted before he could even understand what was happening.
***
You were in the utmost terrible state of dilemma. Nikolai was hosting yet another ball over at the Grand Palace. Though, the events were almost always Genya's ideas more than his.
But this time, it was a masquerade ball. Which meant, you one couldn't quite tell who was who entirely.
You were not invited of course, though you wouldnât be kicked out should you chose to attend. You were a second army soldier, not a Duchess, or a Baroness, or any significant title holding person, or even a close friend of the KingâŠmuch to your disappointment.
But you did wish to attend a ball someday, and maybe, just maybe, be able to see Nikolai outside of your required duties.
You knew such dreams were entirely foolish, but saints, your foolish heart still dreamt.
Only this time, since it was a masquerade ball, your General Zoya Nazyalesnky, and also your friend, had been trying her best to convince you to attend.
"I am telling you, it is far too risky and- and for literally no reason!" you threw up your hands in frustration.
You were currently seated in Zoya's chambers while she paced around the room, attempting to convince you.
" âFor what?â Excuse you, you're the one who's dreamt of going to one of these things ever since I've known you!" Zoya huffed in frustration.
"Yeah but those- those were simply, " you shrugged. "childhood fantasies, not something I would ever actually do," .
Zoya stopped her pacing, pinched the bridge of her nose briefly and sighed before sitting down in front of you.
"You're one of the oldest soldiers of the new Second Army, and-" she lifted a shoulder before saying, "one of the best,"
"Ah you said it now can't take it back," you pointed a finger.
"My point is," she continued, ignoring you. "Even if you did just attend one of these events it would not be such a big deal,".
"No but it would be!" you waved your hands. "It would be entirely unfair to other second army soldiers, come on now" you huffed.
Zoya rolled her eyes for what might've been the fiftieth time since the entire conversation. "My point still stands,".
"However," she raised a finger. "however, since this is a masquerade ball, no one would recognise you out of your kefta in a dress you wouldn't ever normally wear."
"Plus, you can just leave before midnight when everyone will take off their masks," she shrugged. "It's that easy.".
You pressed your lips into a thin line, distress clear as daylight on your features.
Zoya leaned forward. "Besides, I know how much you wish to see him during one of these events,".
You practically threw yourself out of your seat. "What!? Who!? " you shrugged. "I-I have absolutely no idea what you're speaking of Zoya Nazyalnesky!" you rambled. "I-I am a soldier, a very duty oriented and-"
"I know of your feelings towards him," Zoya explained calmly.
"What? To-towards whom? I have absolute no id-"
"Towards Nikolai!" Zoya said out far too loud. She leaned towards you, and lowered her voice, "Towards Nikolai,".
You bit your lip, looking down at your hands.
Zoya sighed, "It's not big news, I've seen it every day. How you stare at him when you think no one's looking and how you hang on to every word he says. It's kind of annoying actually,".
"But regardless, I know it all, no matter how much and for however long you choose to deny it.".
You sighed, admitting defeat at last and plopped back down in your seat.
"And if things go badly, he or no one else will know who you are. So no harm done," she shrugged.
You rubbed your hands across your face. "Fine," you groaned. "It's- it's just one evening" waved a hand in front of you. "What could possibly go wrong?" you sighed, but also strangely felt a thrill you'd never quite felt before.
Zoya's face broke out into a proud grin. "I have a certain silver gown in mind that shall suit you perfectly."
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