M♤TRYX。

as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache

i overthink everything until i ruin it. then i sit in the wreckage and miss what i destroyed. and i call it self-awareness, but really it's just grief for the peace i never learned how to hold.

does anyone else go freak shit about being abandoned. like honestly idgaf most of the time so yay but sometimes there's just moments I'll threaten the other person if they try to leave but it's like... I'm not afraid I just find it insulting as hell and it hurts my ego that you don't wanna stay with ME when im literally the best person in the world

i’ve tried to accept that you don’t care about me, but the part of me that craves your love refuses to move on.

every time you speak to me, i wonder if you’re about to break my heart a little bit more.

looking back, you never cared about me the way that i cared about you.

Oh I'd rather just ruin EVERYTHING than communicate a little bit

i hate how fragile i am. one word, one tone, and i'm spiraling. and i know it's not normal. i know i'm supposed to "regulate." but how do you regulate a storm that's lived inside you for years? how do you tell your body you're safe when it never believed you?