Life Events

It's kinda sad to think back and realize my ex in the last half of my college years took up so much of my life I don't even know what any of my friends majors were expect him and his best friend >.>

That's sad... I know I'm not the best at keeping up with people but come on! Shoot! One girl I could tell you her favorite color I could tell you when she bought her car I could tell you what she loves to eat when she's sad But I have no idea what her major was.-. The only ones that had obvious majors were my friend who wanted to teach art and our other friend who wanted to bake because you have to go to different buildings for those classes but everybody else I have no fucking clue @.@

It's still amazes me to this day how much of my life I let him rule over and I didn't even realize it because I had been brought up in a home with happy loving parents who fought over the small things yeah but we were super happy I had a super bratty little brother my dad took care of everything The only time I ever saw manipulation was when my grandma would guilt trip us and I just thought that was normal stuff that Grandma's do >.>

I had never met such a manipulative person before and it took me so long to realize like when he stopped me from breaking up with him the numerous times that I tried to break up with him .-. I thought his promises to fix stuff we're true

I ignored all of the red flags because I didn't know they were red flags I didn't really date in high school I was that tall intimidating girl I dated a gay guy, a cute little jock who was the best friend of the guy that I had a major crush on, and then I dated my crush into college and realize he was more of a closed in sheltered child then I was >.> Then I dated a college boy and he cheated on me of course because cliche...

So please if I have learned anything let your children date in school where it is safe and they can see what manipulation is without wasting 4 years of their adult life on a person they aren't meant to be with XD'.... T.T

Thank you

Sin is always such a hard thing for people to talk about because they associate it with drugs and all this illegal bad stuff but it's not always to that degree

My Sin is sloth. If I can stay in bed just that little bit longer I will. If I can find some tiny reason to not study and just be lazy in bed I will. Which is really bad cause I'm back in school again and there's no teacher in my face to keep me accountable >.>

My Sin is not illegal it's not drugs it's not stealing or lying or cheating on my bf and having lots of sexual partners but it can be just as bad. It makes me late to work, late finishing projects, late on homework, late finishing classes up.

If I can stay in bed all day reading a book watching random crap on TV just not moving and being lazy sleeping dreaming munching on chips and salsa as long as I'm in bed that is my happy place. But it is also when I'm the most stressed out because I know I need to get up and do stuff but My mind and my body are both in complete and utter unison agreeing that I need to stay in bed and it's so hard to fight it when everything in you just wants to go back to sleep

This is an odd subject to post about but that's fine I don't mind posting about odds objects

When I was younger not like a child I was in college but I was almost an adult...something happened and friendships were lost (about 80% of my friends were lost) there was a bi-yearly vacation that had at a friend's lake house. The first time I understand why I was not invited, the person that I was not on good terms with because we broke up (my ex) he was having a rough time and he didn't want me there. I understand that but then the second time 2 months later we have another vacation that I've been really really looking forward to because everybody's been kind of making excuses to not hang out with me. It's an ex thing and I wasn't allowed to know what was going on or help even though I wanted to help.

So I got completely blocked from this second event on Facebook and it really hurt my feelings I was crying and my almost boyfriend at the time wrote a post about it on Facebook and (making a horrible childish decision) I tagged the person who blocked me from the event and made them cry. The next morning had two people calling me asking why would you do that that's so fucked up and I'm asking why would y'all block me from this event and not answer any of my questions?.? they said my reaction was so childish and I'm over here like hello I'm over here hurting I'm over here crying I've been left completely out and no one cares no one's talking to me like what the heck is going on!!!! so....why do her feelings matter more than mine when I've been walked all over?!?!

So needless to say none of us are friends at all they refused to forgive me for my transgression they apologized for blocking me from the event we had a two hour long crying conversation about it and about 2 weeks (or more I don't remember specifics) before this me and the girl who called me and the girl whos parents own the lake house we all went to a concert together and we had a blast and now I'm getting threats and angry calls and all this mess and getting completely blocked on everything.-. My ex even sent me an angry message and I had to block him he literally unblocked me to send me an angry message...

Well you know what's funny I'm no longer blocked by any of them but they all refuse to talk to me and I'm not going to reach out to someone who treated me like that Yes I made a bad decision Yes I reacted badly no I should not have tagged her in that I absolutely should have told him to take that down and I should have gone and talked to them face-to-face about what happened I was a stupid child I handled the situation badly but I mean it is what it is but the funniest part is it's been years and I'm still friends with some of their parents on Facebook >.> and they comment every now and then and like and share my posts every now and then it's kind of odd and kind of funny

So I had this car that I absolutely love literally besides my family my boyfriend my pets this car was me as a car It was so perfect It got good gas mileage It had enough room for a little econobox It was perfect

Until... It had been having electrical issues two batteries nothing wrong with them suddenly died and were reading as bad batteries Also I had a touch screen in the car and it would go white and my radio would turn off for a few seconds and then it would come back up like nothing was wrong sometimes my radio would reset I would have to change the time back to normal It was obnoxious but it didn't happen very often

So then my backup camera starts to go out It gets flipped over like a mirror and then it just doesn't work so my boyfriend and his dad took it apart they had to solder it open because it was in a sealed box nothing wrong with it put it back in it works perfectly fine so what the hell we didn't check the connector because we're smart.... And it worked sometimes and then sometimes it wouldn't work we thought maybe it was because I listen to my music too loud and the connector was finally starting to come loose because it's right next to the stock subwoofer in the back because my car came with a premium sound system with surround sound

Well that was a few months ago fast forward to last week and my gauge on my dashboard lost power That's not good thankfully it was not my speedometer because I would have been too scared to drive my car but thankfully later that night it regained the power and it was fine but that was the last straw my dad was like this car is unsafe this electrical gremlin in the engine is affecting bigger systems and that's not safe for you to drive

And I'm thinking oh great you want me to get rid of this car that I have had for 3 years It has been in two wrecks and I owe more on it than the tax value...GREAT!!!! So this past weekend I went to some dealerships and as expected they did not want to offer me anything near what I owe and in my head I'm like fuck I'm going to be paying $400 a month on a not new car and that's ridiculous or I can continue to pay 200 on a very not new car and possibly crash in the middle of the highway involving multiple other people and other vehicles and die a really painful death.... One guy actually even insulted my car I think he knew from the look on my face he was not going to be able to sell me a car that day

Also you have to know my extremely patient boyfriend with letting me drag him around to dealerships and listening to sales people all day and there's only so far that everyone's patients can go and he hates inconveniencing people so when I said hey let's try one more dealership he looks at the clock and he says hun they close in half an hour and I said no babe that clock is wrong they close in 20 minutes thankfully most of the time no matter how hair brained my schemes are he will go with me

So we walk into this dealership 15 minutes before they close probably closer to 13 but who's counting this come to find out amazingly desperate guy and his manager stay with me until about 10:30 to give me this holy crap deal on this basically new car... Come to find out they needed this sale to make their quota for the day so it worked out for me they gave me about 200 under what I owed and they dropped off a few thousand on the car so that I could qualify for a loan for this car now let me tell you if you crunch the numbers and go by what my car was valued because of the parts that had been replaced from the two wrecks it had been in and the value of this 1-year-old car with a few thousand miles on it they cut out about 5,000 or more dollars out of their side of the deal!!!!! Now I know this happens a lot on new cars because that's not really where dealerships make their money most of the time because they can give you really good deals on new cars but they really make a lot of money on used cars cuz they can buy them for so cheap But man did they bend over backwards and help me buy this car and I'm so grateful because I'm not driving a possible death trap anymore I am driving a nice sleek Phantom Midnight <3

You know that day where like it's a good day overall but crazy shit keeps happening and you can possibly fix the crazy shit so that it doesn't turn into bad shit but like crazy things keep happening

So today I've been down to pick up a piece of trash and throw it away and my pants rip thank God a few seconds later on my coworkers walks by and she offers to go get me a hoodie to cover it up

then it starts raining pouring outside and this is the first day in over a month that I did not bring my umbrella with me so thank God it stopped raining right before I got off work like the roads are almost dry

THEN!!!!! On the way walking to my car I see my ex You know that ex that you spent a long amount of time trying to fix things but they would never put forth the effort to fix anything they would make promises but they would never follow through yeah that ex literally 10 ft away from him so I said nope fuck this and I crossed the street

I thought this was something easy to do You do something wrong You understand you did something wrong hurt someone's feelings I don't know what the situation is but you did something wrong well something happened between me and a friend and apparently I mean a lot to that person But still they can't or want I don't know which one admit that they did something wrong because they had good intentions

So I have a cat he is six and I have a dog and she is three so I'm very used to by now when he throws up he's a little diva he goes and eats his food he eats way too much and then he throws up half of it....well my puppy very early on figured out that when I turned my back to get stuff to clean up his throw up that's free food for her

Another note for this I guess story I have always told my babies that they are good boys and girls when they throw up because you know most people freak out and yell at them they tell them to stop <.< I just see if I can move them to a flat surface not carpet preferably and pet their backs and tell them that they're good and that they should get it out of their system

so when my puppy was a baby she never really threw up much which is surprising because her and her sister would get into a lot of stuff I have sat through multiple scream poop sessions when she ate a plastic fork or when she ate her plastic water dish It was about the same size as her at the time so it came out in multiple sessions also she hid half of it in her blanket and would slowly eat it so that I didn't ever find it .-. But yeah fast forward to now she pukes on occasion it's pretty gross but conveniently she then cleans up after herself she is a very clean dog I take her to the groomer every now and then just to get her hair thinned out and her claws trimmed cuz brushing alone does not help she has very short thick hair and because it's short you can't shave her... it's more likely to come back as ingrown or infected Also it's extremely thick

You know those random thoughts that go through your head when you're doing something completely normal but in your head something absolutely horrifying is happening

I get them constantly it's obnoxious so the new one for today: (backstory) the other week I found a spider on the bathroom counter my mom likes to have pictures around the room But she has too many for this bathroom so some are just sitting on the counter leaning against the mirror well this spider had made a web behind the faucet and he was hiding under the picture frame

Fast forward to this week and as I'm sitting down on the toilet my brain is going hey what if the bowl of that toilet is filled with spider webbing and that spider is up under the toilet seat where you can't see him and he's going to bite you and because you're allergic you're going to die

Everyone has those moments where they're sibling does something and it's just...you knew it was a thing but you didn't want to know...like the difference between having faith and actually knowing... they're two very different things