Some may find it interesting to know that I imagine myself to have a British accent. In fact, I think this book will be much more enjoyable if you were to read it as though it were me narrating- if I were british. There’s something about the British way of formulating words that seems so much smarter. Each word has more depth, more philosophy when it comes from someone who sounds like they came straight out of Oxford with many fancy and expensive degrees and awards dedicated to proving to each and every person just how eloquent they are. There’s nothing eloquent about being American. Nothing about my own American accent would lead people to assume I have degrees, or even that I can read, or that I am writing a book (by the time you read this I assume the correct phrase would be “I wrote a book” but I’ve only decided to write a book in the last five minutes, so forgive my verbiage- and my insecurity that leads me to use the word “verbiage”). (That book could feature this glorified blog post, or it could be another form of writing, I haven't decided yet)
This isn’t to say that I think all British people are smart, or that if you don’t sound like you could be in Harry Potter you speak with the diction and rhetoric of a heathen, but I will admit that words simply sound better.
Returning to my earlier comment about the depth of each word, I find it compelled to point out cuss words. If I weren’t an American I might call them “curse words” but I find cuss is a more accurate descriptor, especially as I attempt to make this book sound less formal and appeal to people my age rather than making myself out to be some sort of scholar from the nineteenth century. I have gotten side tracked, back to cuss words I suppose. Every word we speak has a certain depth to it. This changes depending on volume, and pitch, and pronunciation, and enunciation. All these aspects of said spoken word come together to form the tone of the word, which is used to convey the emotion driving the word. This is how things like sarcasm were invented- a completely separate meaning from the words we are actually speaking. Consider the word “Fuck”. When it is whispered, or muttered, or mumbled we can assume something unfortunate has happened. When it is shouted, shrieked, or choked out we can assume something devastating has occurred. When it is spoken in any other way, one must make their own judgments using the context of the conversation and/or circumstances in which the word was used. Some people enjoy throwing around cuss words like they’re any other word, like they have no significance. Some choose to eliminate them from their vocabulary entirely because of some moral or ethical standard they hold themselves too, which is completely beyond my understanding, but I’ll get to that later.
Now, for a brief exercise, I want you to say the word “Fuck” aloud to yourself. Go on. If your parents or teachers are around and you fear punishment or discipline I would accept it being in your head- as long as you actually say it to yourself in some way, because I will know if you cheated because you will get to the point I’m attempting to make and you won’t understand it and I would really not like to receive your hate-email. Alright, if you’ve done it, we may proceed. Now, I want you to imagine a british person saying the word “Fuck”. How does it change? Maybe you’re thinking of the vowel shape, or the stress they put on the “ck” at the end, or even the length of time they take to push the air through their teeth and lips for the “F” sound. But just focus on the depth of the word. How do the different “Fuck”’s make you feel? Anyone who has heard a British person say the word “Fuck” would be absolutely insane to argue that the word does not sound deeper, and- in it’s nature, no matter pitch, volume, or diction -better coming from someone who speaks as though they are from the United Kingdom.
It could be odd for me to admit that I want people to like the way I cuss. I like the way British people cuss, and that could be my simple insecurities, but I’d like to believe that it’s simply because I want people to listen to me. I’ve always enjoyed listening to people with accents. Their words become more fascinating, their stories more enjoyable, their jokes seem funnier when they don’t speak like me. If I were a psychologist I would find myself analyzing my distaste for American culture- or lack thereof (excuse me for getting political) -and the idea of being associated with it. I would much rather have been raised in some place like Scotland or Ireland or the United Kingdom. That said, this is from the perspective of someone who has not lived in- or even visited -any country other than America, and who has never experienced life outside of her home country.
I don’t want this to be taken as a distaste for freedom, or basic human rights, or the American Constitution, or my country as a whole. In complete transparency I will admit, most of what I’ve seen of America I’ve quite liked- no matter how little that portion is. No, it’s mostly the places I haven’t seen that I dislike. And that’s not to say that I dislike the geography or the people, I would never be blind or arrogant enough to assume that. But more I dislike the culture in those places. I dislike the culture in the places I’ve seen on the news- because I wouldn’t know of the culture in any place that hasn’t been on the news, considering the journalistic media is almost entirely filled with negative subject matter. The places that get on the news- at least the ones that have lately -are very odd places to me. Not odd in the fact that they have this culture that I dislike, but in the fact that they don’t want to change it. I’ve observed that most people who have outdated views or even a favored point of view towards censorship that they sometimes disguise by calling themselves “Conservative” are less willing to reevaluate or alter their views than those of other beliefs or moral standings. That is not to say that all who identify as Conservative are censors (a word I will quickly become familiar with, as will you as I have just chosen to use it to describe these people), I have met and have adored many Conservative and Conservative-leaning people. I would even go as far as saying I’ve agreed with them on many modern issues.
But it is the unwillingness to change that fascinates me among these people. Some will riot about freedom of speech and the right to carry a firearm, but the second that their son wants the freedom to express their love of fashion or makeup the “freedom” they so openly believe in is stripped away from him. Freedom of expression has got to be the most ridiculous and deceitful notion this country has ever claimed. If we truly had freedom of expression, we’d be allowed to use cuss words in school. Maybe then we’d learn to use them with the same conviction as they do across the pond. If freedom of expression wasn’t a blatant lie, women would be able to show their nipples in public. Just because I’m uncomfortable showing my areolas, doesn’t mean that Mary-Anne next door should have to wear a shirt to walk down the street. I’d even go as far as saying that I might be comfortable showing my areolas if I hadn’t been raised in a society where it was unacceptable. We are finally just now starting to accept women not wearing bras- which is ridiculous, because my Male-identifying eighth-grade math teacher’s nipples were much much much more distracting to the class than mine would’ve been. He was the one actually in front of everyone teaching, but he wasn’t forced to wear a bra. Though, imagining the shock and the confusion that would’ve ensued had I complained does satisfy the feminist in me the slightest bit. Alas, I will withhold from pointing out that I doubt anything would have been done in such a scenario considering the culture of the small town that I grew up in. All that said, it is this type of expression that is being censored endlessly throughout our country. It is this censorship that I see in our everyday lives that leads me to believe I would much rather live in the UK as- at least from what I’ve seen through the media I have openly chosen to consume -they seem to swear a lot more, which also leads me to believe that they mostly likely have at least slightly less censorship than we do here in America. All that being said, I am fully aware that people still can’t walk around with their feminine areolas out and about in the UK, so I do acknowledge that this is a worldwide issue.
I have already admitted to the fact that things are improving. People are becoming more and more accepting of women no longer choosing to wear bras if they don’t find them necessary. However, that doesn't stop me from hoping for a better future, where women and men are free to walk around as naked as they please, and children and adults of all ages are allowed to swear as concisely and as aggressively as they see fit.