Writer.

Alright this one kind of got away from me but I’ve been writing&rewriting it forever so at this point I figure c’est la vie.

A Remus & Lily friendship fic. One where they just can’t seem to ignore the two boys driving them crazy.

Unrequited II   Unrequited III

Enjoy.

“Lily?”

She had gotten so lost in staring at the way the flames of the dying fire licked the stone walls that she hadn’t heard the first, or second, or even third time the hushed voice had called out her name.

Yet, once the figure came into frame she lifted her face from the curve of the armrest on the couch and cringed.

Her cheek ached from being in one place for far too long.

As she attempted to focus her eyes the realization that her whole body had gone numb from lack of movement dawned on her.

She ignored the painful tingling of her senses springing to life and simply blinked twice to relieve her emerald eyes of their dryness.

She gazed up to meet those familiar amber ones that she had been seeing at the same time every night this week at the same moment the first words left his lips.

“Can’t sleep.”

Alright this one kind of got away from me but I’ve been writing&rewriting it forever so at this point I figure c’est la vie.

A Remus & Lily friendship fic. One where they just can’t seem to ignore the two boys driving them crazy.

Unrequited II   Unrequited III

Enjoy.

“Lily?”

She had gotten so lost in staring at the way the flames of the dying fire licked the stone walls that she hadn’t heard the first, or second, or even third time the hushed voice had called out her name.

Yet, once the figure came into frame she lifted her face from the curve of the armrest on the couch and cringed.

Her cheek ached from being in one place for far too long.

As she attempted to focus her eyes the realization that her whole body had gone numb from lack of movement dawned on her.

She ignored the painful tingling of her senses springing to life and simply blinked twice to relieve her emerald eyes of their dryness.

She gazed up to meet those familiar amber ones that she had been seeing at the same time every night this week at the same moment the first words left his lips.

“Can’t sleep.”

I Get to Love You.

I’ve been writing this piece because I love reading the tags when you lovelies share my pieces and I have learned I may be, I quote, ripping souls apart (I’m not even sorry) & I thought maybe fluff was in order?So your ask could not have come at a better time.Inspired by this.(ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME - IM CRYING)Enjoy.

It’s another early morning

And another mug of tea warming his fingertips

And another cold walk from the kitchen back to bed

His shirt is still on the floor from last night

A heap of clothing that has been strewn across the room

Wanton and careless

Just as it always is

And his pajama bottoms are sagging on his hip bones now

But he’s hurriedly making his way back to bed

Back to the warmth of the blankets

And the body beside him

(( OOC: Written by: carpetheday ))

Because who doesn’t love angst & wolfstar? This is post-Sirius’ arrest, before Remus knew the truth.  Enjoy.

@siriusly-not-over-remus asked for HP Christmas Headcannons a while back And I submitted this and this. So I decided to keep it going. Warning: slight NSFW Enjoy.

The snow this year fell like a blanket

It was as if one morning they woke up and the sky had opened practically overnight

The ground was pure white

Nothing but the trails of footprints could be seen

It made the sky look so clean and endless and blue

It made the air smell so crisp

It made the world seem new

Feel new

And it was Christmas

A time Harry had always looked forward too because he could be with his family

His real family

But this year

This year was different

Have yourself a merry little wolfstar Christmas. I took my inspiration from here and here.

Warning: slightly NSFW (better safe than sorry?)

Enjoy.

It had been days

An endless number of days

And it had mostly been of Remus wandering around an empty flat

With its creaky floorboards

And thick layer of dust

And incessantly cold bursts of air from cracks in the walls

It had been days of opening and closing a fridge he never refilled

Of forgetting why he even bothered to look when he knew he couldn’t stomach anything anyway

Of losing track of the weeks, the days, the hours, the minutes

Of laying on the couch

Or on the floor

Of laying anywhere but his bed

Their bed

As requested by @autumnaticc

Some Dramione just for you darling. Inspired by this post and a little bit of this one.

WARNING: slightly NSFW Enjoy.

He had spent years perfecting that image

The gritted jaw

The pursed lips

The arched eyebrow

The piercing, narrowing glance

The rigid way he kept his shoulders back

The icy air that drifted behind him

He wanted it to be clear

Nothing was worth the effort

Nothing worth the time

Nothing more important the glass in his hand

Or the sneer permanently etched on his lip

Or himself

Because he is a Malfoy

(( OOC: Written by: carpetheday ))

Snippet: Oh god, Oh god. There was so much blood!

(( OOC: Written by: carpetheday ))

Because Thrice Defied Pt. 4 made me want to slap Sirius & cry all at the same time, I wrote this. 

Some wolfstar is good for the soul (and helps when someone makes angsty af threads). 

Enjoy.

So I hear you have a thing for Drarry? Warning: NSFW Enjoy.

It was the way his waist dipped that made his fingers tingle

But then there was the smooth curve of his spine

And that made him chew his bottom lip

And then he was distracted by the clean lines of his shoulder blades

And the tousled blonde hair that was draped over his pillows

And the way he looked so calm, so serene

It made Harry want to inch forward

Meld himself to fit the curve of his body

Feel his backside pressed against him

Skin to skin

Feel his breathing as he slept

Goosebumps erupted down his arms the more he thought of it

He just- he just wanted to press his lips into his skin again

Trail his tongue down his chest, across his rib cage

Burn the feeling of him writhing beneath him into his brain

Go lower and lower

The feeling of grasping hip bones

And the way he sucked in deep breaths of air the more Harry grabbed and nipped and moved

Those moans and that groan

And god those low noises he could make

Harry just wanted to move forward from his side of the bed

He wanted more

He wanted last night

It was replaying so vividly in his head he wasn’t sure what to do

He had thought it was a drunken tumble home

A chase that had finally ended

He had been going to Ministry event after Ministry event just praying he’d show this time

Praying he’d continue the game

And he did this time

He finally did

And Harry had totally prepared himself for unabashed flirting

He knew what he wanted and at this point he couldn’t wait to have it

But that’s not how the night had gone at all

When he walked into the room everyone turned

That chiseled jaw

That silvery white hair

The dark, cleanly pressed dress robes that were so perfectly tailored to his frame

Harry gritted his jaw

His first thought was that Draco Malfoy had never looked so damn fit in his entire life

His second?

I’m a goner

And then it got worse

Because he had wholeheartedly expected Draco to avoid him

To smile, say polite things, even ask him how he was

To be the tease he had been for the past few months

That was what he had expected

It was what he always expected

But then

Then there were the shoulder brushes

The arm touches

The oh so close whispers where Harry could feel Draco’s breath hot on his collar

He could smell his cologne every time he sauntered past

Taking in the scent just a little more every time thinking it would be a while before he got this close to him again

But then, well then …

They were sitting next to each other

And Draco was chatting along with the mindless blabbering Harry’s table had resorted too

Something about new restrictions on some potion or something

And Harry wasn’t at all paying attention

He was focused intently on the closeness of Draco’s body

Of his perfect posture and jutted out chin and long slender fingers drumming along his thigh

And then they were on Harry’s thigh

And he couldn’t see because the table got in the way

But Draco’s hand was moving ever so slightly up his leg

And Harry’s body went rigid

Because this hadn’t happened before

And why the fuck was he blushing

And why could he feel himself getting hard so fast

And what was Malfoy doing to him

With his firm palms as they dragged up the curve of Harry’s thigh

With his fingers sliding along the inseam of Harry’s trousers

And he was trying to keep a straight face but the room felt hot

He felt hot

He was sweating beneath his collar

And Draco was just sitting there

Continuing with the chatter

His eyes not even for a second daring to glance at Harry

And now Harry’s mind was swimming in the warmth that vibrated through his entire body

Because Draco was rubbing his palm against him

Grinding a little harder

But so languid, so slow

And the pressure, oh god the pressure felt so good

And Harry didn’t want him to stop

But he was losing control just at the feeling of Draco’s fingers

So when the chatter finished and the night ended Harry had practically shoved him up against that wall

Pinned his shoulders down

Grinded himself into him a little harder than he probably should have

But he didn’t care

Because what Draco had done to him in there was just too much

Harry couldn’t keep going with the teasing

Not if it would get worse than that

‘What the bloody hell are you playing at Malfoy?’

And that glare in his eye

That wicked glare

It worked so well with the way his lips curved into that familiar smirk

‘What Potter? Finally realized you don’t like redheads as much as you thought?’

Harry could feel his jaw clench

But Malfoy had jutted his hips ever so slightly against him

And the coil in the pit of his stomach was burning, aching

‘Are you trying to get me fired?’

There was a fire behind Malfoy’s eyes

Something daring and wicked and wonderful

It was drawing them closer with every word

‘Well then maybe you’d have some time to actually enjoy yourself Potter …’

Draco kinked his eyebrow

‘Or someone else …’

Their faces were so close

Harry could see the flecks of silver in his eyes

The peak of his cheekbone

The soft pink tint of his lips

He could almost taste the firewhiskey on Draco’s breath

And that was it

Because nearly four minutes later he was popping into his apartment attached by the lips to one Draco Malfoy

And he was ripping at clothing and tearing at buttons

And Draco’s skin felt so hot underneath him

He was pressing his mouth into places he had only imagined before

Sucking on his neck

Pressing kisses along his collar bone

Flicking his tongue out as he moved over his nipple

Nipping at the skin on his hips

He had finally, finally gotten the man into his bed

And all he wanted was more

Because now they were just laying here in Harry’s bed

The next morning had come faster than he would have liked

And he was left to wrestle with the thoughts swarming his head

Because he wasn’t sure what Draco wanted

And Harry knew wanted this again

A night like this again

His body was physically responding just at the thought

But there was something else there

Something more

And it was worrying him

Because Draco probably thought this was just a fuck

It had been building for so long

They had finally reached the end of their game

And Harry didn’t want that

The end

It sounded so final

How was he supposed to just move on from this?

So he was just staring at Draco’s back

Caught in his head

Trailing his fingers along the crevices of his body

Thinking that he had been so wrong

Draco had never looked more fit that right here in his bed

It made him panic

What if this is all I ever get?

But then Harry could feel Draco shudder awake

His shoulders rolling back, his neck pressed into the pillow

His body turning towards Harry

His head dropping to the side as his eyes fluttered open

Harry was just staring at him, waiting, breathless

‘Been watching me have you?

Harry rolled his eyes

‘You drool when you sleep. My poor pillow is drowning.’

Draco smirked and rolled from his back to his side

They were face to face now

Chests almost brushing, breath mingling, the warmth of the sun spreading through the room not the only thing setting Harry’s skin on fire

‘It’s polite to make guests in your home food Potter. Who taught you your manners?’

Harry stifled a laugh

‘What and you want me to serve it to you in bed too?’

Draco kinked his eyebrow again

And the butterflies that had suddenly erupted in Harry’s stomach lost control

‘Of course. It’s Saturday, I’ve got a hangover, I plan to stay in this bed all day’

Draco’s eyes were wide

The ever present smirk on his face back again

Taunting, teasing

Just like before

‘All day huh?’

Harry was chewing his bottom lip hoping, just hoping Draco wasn’t tossing him around

‘Yes and I’ll obviously need sustenance. How do you expect me to do anything otherwise?’

Harry couldn’t tear his eyes from Draco

That wicked glint was back

And it was begging him, just begging him to play along

‘Anything?’

Have yourself a merry little wolfstar Christmas. I took my inspiration from here and here.

Warning: slightly NSFW (better safe than sorry?)

Enjoy.

It had been days

An endless number of days

And it had mostly been of Remus wandering around an empty flat

With its creaky floorboards

And thick layer of dust

And incessantly cold bursts of air from cracks in the walls

It had been days of opening and closing a fridge he never refilled

Of forgetting why he even bothered to look when he knew he couldn’t stomach anything anyway

Of losing track of the weeks, the days, the hours, the minutes

Of laying on the couch

Or on the floor

Of laying anywhere but his bed

Their bed

Decided to do another Jily. A tad long but I can’t seem to help it aha I figured you wouldn’t mind a little angst considering all your angsty threads giving me heart palpitations. Enjoy.

Warning: Reference to Violence

Lily sighed heavily, the cigarette dangling between her finger tips, its bright orange embers flickering against the dark black sky around her. The top of the Astronomy Tower had always provided her with a quiet place to think despite the way the cold wind whipped around the building off the lake and enveloped her body. It used to send shivers down her spine, especially when she forgot her jumper in her room like she did tonight. Usually it would bother her but she felt like she needed the piercing cold of the wind on her skin, she needed it to make her feel something other than raw and numb.

The last few weeks had all but consumed her, the stress of homework, the overwhelming increase in violent incidents and that tosser who always seemed to infiltrate her thoughts. It was exhausting and infuriating as hell.

She brought the cigarette to her lips, inhaled deeply and released a long, drawn out breath. The smoke came out her mouth and nose; it danced around her face and was taken away with the wind across the school grounds. She watched it go wishing that she could float away that easily, be something or someone who was not cursed to feel forever static.

She rubbed her fingers into her temple; she didn’t know how to cope with the oncoming winter or with her friends, or her foes. Ever since her rather large public blowout with Severus his friends had taken quite a liking to her. Every time she rounded a corner there one of them was with a malicious glare in their eye and a rather terrifying grimace. Of course she was never one to back down from a fight so when the glares and grimaces turned into physical retaliations and slurs she reacted.

She had gotten herself more detentions this year than any of her years at Hogwarts combined and her fists were decorated with more bruises than they had ever been in her whole life. She smirked at the thought, most of the time she did deserve the detention and she wouldn’t take back a single one of them. Even the one that landed her with Filch for a whole weekend, she would have scrubbed the entire castle to be able to return to the moment that her fist connected with Avery’s nose.

Thankfully her broken knuckle was easily repairable.

She ashed the cigarette gently with her finger and released another heavy sigh. Sirius had told her not to think about it too much, he had laughed it off with a joke about old family friends and Lily laughed too, at the time. Doesn’t make it hurt any less, she thought as Sirius’ frame disappeared through the hospital wing doors. When James had come to visit it had ended in a screaming match about ‘dangerous situations.’ She had complained to Sirius for weeks and he had smirked when she did, oh Evans, why now?

She couldn’t answer that. It had been years of hatred and bitter arguments and loud public throw-downs that had led her to believe her hatred for James Potter to be completely justified. He was obnoxious and crass, his head was too big for his shoulders and his mouth never stopped moving. He was an incessantly aggravating young boy who had become a rather endearing young man, someone she could even call friend. He had relaxed with the flirtation, it took her months to realize she missed that, and practically every girl in their grade took notice of the effects Quidditch training had on him much to her annoyance. She swore if she had to sit next to another group of girls at a Gryffindor match as they batted their eyelashes and muttered about his chiseled jaw she would vomit.

Again, Sirius had muttered, oh Evans.

(( OOC: Written by: carpetheday ))

Thank you to my insomnia for allowing me to continue to write despite the heavy pile of work currently sitting next to me. And to you for being my wolfstar inspiration. Enjoy.

Warning: NSFW                [as my work seems to be lately]

It wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before

It was just that this time, well this time it hurt more and Remus knew exactly why

This was just fooling around

And that was all Sirius would ever say

He would walk into the dorm after a long day

His hair windblown from being on the Quidditch pitch, from running himself ragged

The bags under his eyes thick from sleepless nights, nights terrorized by his mother’s face and his brother’s screams

His knuckles still bruised from knocking in whoever’s jaw it was that spit vile words at one of his friends

And Remus’ fingers would start to tingle, the hairs on his neck would stand up as the room filled with Sirius’ musky cologne

He would keep his eyes on his book waiting patiently for Sirius to make the first move

He didn’t want to seem so eager, so ready

He was trying so hard to keep the beating in his chest under control

Trying to remind his body what his mind already knew

This was just fooling around

But then Sirius would yank him to his feet from his nest of books on the ground

His hand so tight around Remus’ collar his head spun

And he would lean their foreheads together, deep breaths escaping his parted lips

The thoughts racing through Remus’ mind made the urge to pin Sirius up against the wall and drag his tongue down his throat uncontrollable

But he would remain in Sirius’ grasp just waiting

And then Sirius would snake his other hand up Remus’ shirt

His cool fingers shocking against the fire that had become Remus’ skin

And he would lean forward ever so slightly just to run his tongue along Remus’ bottom lip

And Remus could feel the goosebumps all over his skin

This was just fooling around

Suddenly his back was on the bed and the temperature of the room kept rising

They were a tangle of skin and sweat and limbs

Shirts were torn, pants were thrown across the room

Sirius’ hot open mouth trailing down, down, down

Sucking and biting and Merlin his tongue

And oh god those hands

They just kept grabbing and gripping and pulling Remus closer

Remus was arching his back just to feel Sirius against him

And then he was on his knees, digging his elbows into the mattress, trying so hard not to come undone

Because he wanted to keep feeling this, wanted to remember it

He didn’t know when it would happen again because like Sirius always said

 This was just fooling around

And then it was over

And Sirius was breathing heavily on top of him

His chest pressed against Remus’

His eyes closed as Remus trailed his fingers along the side of his face brushing stray curls to the side

And then that was over too

Those few fleeting moments where Remus wanted to tell Sirius what he was thinking, feeling

What he thought for a second Sirius could feel too

But Sirius flew to the bathroom to wash it away, wash Remus away

And that hollow pit in his stomach would return as it always did

And Remus would hate himself a little more because of course this wasn’t just fooling around, of course it was more

But he knew he couldn’t tell Sirius that

Especially not now when Clara what’s her name was trailing her fingers along his thigh and whispering into his ear

They were pressed so close together in the booth at the Three Broomsticks Remus would have sworn just one person was occupying it

It made his heart ache and his shoulders tense and his stomach drop

And he was kicking himself because he knew in that moment all those weeks ago when Sirius had leaned against him with his breath smelling of Firewhiskey that he was going to break Remus’ heart

But how do you stop yourself when the person you want is suddenly straddling your hips and grasping your neck and pressing their lips into yours…

‘Remus, this is just fooling around’

How do you say no?

Remus couldn’t, he still hadn’t figured it out

But seeing Sirius like that

Pretending that that was what he wanted and waving it in front of Remus’ face

It made his blood boil and his head pound

They hadn’t even grabbed a table yet when Remus realized he couldn’t sit there and watch that

Lily had offered to walk him back, to help him with whatever he needed

But he merely smiled at her knowing eyes and waved them off

He trudged through the snow back to the castle trying to shake the anger off

He had done this to himself

Let them get too intimate knowing all the time what he felt for his best mate

But denying it all the same

He had let Sirius use his body and accidentally given him his heart along the way

By the time he was back in the dorm with his snow covered boats and cloak and hat littering the floor around his bed the anger had almost gone

He left a trail of clothing behind him as he turned the faucet on

A hot shower helped get the warm feeling back into his fingers and toes, maybe it could do something for his heart?

And it almost did

Until he heard the bathroom lock click and a shuffling pair of shoes

‘Moons?

His jaw was clenched

‘Not now’

He had had the speech planned in his head, the soft and logical words on the tip of his tongue being overpowered by the sheer sound of Sirius’ voice

‘What’s wrong? Saw you leave the pub almost as soon as you got there.’

Remus placed his hand against the shower wall

Stay calm, stay cool, stay collected

‘Remus?’

The words slipped through his teeth harsh and angry and raw, ‘Surprised you could see me.’

Sirius had gripped the shower curtain now and yanked it, ‘What?’

Remus shut his eyes tightly

The last thing he needed was to see those eyes and that striking jaw

He would crumble

‘What are you on about Moony?’

‘Forget it,’ Remus whispered

‘Forget what? I don’t even know what we’re talking about!’

Remus lifted his head, his muscles so tensed and strained, ‘Don’t Sirius, don’t.’

The pretense faded from Sirius’ face

So he did know, Remus sighed

‘I-I …’

Remus let out a huff of irritated laughter

‘Like I said. Forget it.’

The words made Sirius flinch

He was just standing there, his eyes locked on Remus’, an array of confusion and surprise on his speechless face

‘It wasn’t just fooling around’

Remus cocked his head to the side at the barely audible words that left Sirius’ lips

‘What?’

Sirius lifted his shirt over his head as Remus spoke

‘It still isn’t’

And then Remus’ back was against the shower wall

Sirius’ lips decorating his skin as he rolled his head back, his eyes fluttering closed

No

It wasn’t just fooling around

(( OOC: Written by: carpetheday ))

Because your James & Lily threads always make my heart feel way too many things. (Also because after an election night like this we all deserve to feel a little Jily love)

James had always been an early riser. Ever since he was a young child he had memories of waking when the sun had barely come over the horizon. He would throw his sheets to the ground, his feet hitting the carpet so fast he almost fell down the stairs as he flung himself along the banister.

But these morning, these mornings were different. He would stretch his toes, curve his back and roll his shoulders into the mattress. He could feel the white sheet of their bed draped causally over him, the sun pouring through the white curtains warming his skin and the faintest of summer breezes wafting through the room. He would let his eyes flutter open and without a thought let his head drop to the side.

When he was a boy he had loved rising early because no one else was awake and he could do whatever he pleased. He could climb on the counter and grab the sugary cereal his mum kept on the top shelf. He could ride his broom through the kitchen and into the living room. But as a young man, he had an entirely new reason for wanting to wake with the sun.

Lily.

He blinked the sun and sleep from his eyes. Her face was directed towards him and they were so close he didn’t even need his glasses to see her. Her fiery mane of hair was draped across their white pillowcases, her pale freckled back was exposed as she lay comfortably snoring on her stomach and her arms were curved under the pillow that she had nuzzled into her face.

Being in love with Lily Evans since he was eleven years old was nothing like being in love with Lily Potter.

Hogwarts Lily Evans was a mystery from the moment he saw her with that awe-stricken look on her face and those wide emerald eyes. He had wanted to know her immediately. She was a whirlwind of chaos, an overbearing know-it-all, a painstakingly witty firecracker. And still her smile was so full of sunshine and her heart a garden full of the brightest flowers. He remembered watching her in class with her prim and proper uniform, her perfectly straightened posture, her precise wand movements. He remembered thinking that this was the one, this was his soulmate. But he really had no idea at the time that that magnetic feeling in his gut, the one that would eventually pull them together, was so much more than the faint crush on the beautiful redhead across the classroom.

When she had become the future Mrs. Potter that crush felt so different. He finally realized she was not a mystery at all. No matter how much she remained a chaotic, dictatorial firecracker; she somehow became the changing of the leaves when Autumn ran rampant through the Forbidden Forest and the way mugs of hot chocolate warm your frostbitten fingers. This Lily Evans was as real as she was ethereal. She sat across from him with her legs over the arm of the squishiest armchair in the common room and laughed so hard at his friend’s jokes that her smile took up her whole face. This Lily Evans fell asleep in the Heads office with a quill in her hand and drool dripping down her cheek. This Lily Evans still screamed at him until her face was red and her hair was practically flaming and his chest was bruised from where her finger slammed into it. This Lily Evans caught eyes with him from across the corridor when he was speaking with another girl and her eyes would narrow, her eyebrow would kink, her jaw would grit.

That was when he knew what it meant.

That was when he knew this woman wasn’t just some beautiful conundrum that he had made up in his head to be that way. She was someone who could make his heart race, who could throw his witty comebacks right in his face, who could take one look at him and just know something was wrong. This Lily was one of his best friends, someone who in spite of everything could still keep him on his toes.

And because of that, she was someone who he wanted to share everything with.

But it wasn’t until their wedding day that he realized again he hadn’t figured it out after all. There was so much more.

When he had looked up from fumbling with his tie his entire body froze in its place next to Sirius and his lungs emptied of air. She was walking towards him arm in arm with her father. Her hips swaying ever so slightly, her veil flowing gracefully behind her with the wind. The music was playing but his heart was thumping so loudly he could barely hear it. Her forest green eyes were gazing into him and the way her lips curved into a smirk, the way her eyebrow kinked at his open mouth, he realized it.

It was no longer her mystery that made his heart pound, no longer the chase, no longer the idea that she was the girl of his dreams. It was that he could look at her in the morning when her hair was unkempt, dry toothpaste stuck to her chin, inhaling a fresh mug of coffee in the middle of their kitchen and his heart would still pound like this.

That’s how he knew what that magnetic feeling meant.

Or so he thought.  

The Mrs. Potter version of Lily Evans, the woman before him now, continued everyday to show him how little he knew. This woman lying next to him, lying so peacefully in their bedroom on a slow summer morning was the woman who when he had asked on bended knee to wear his mother’s ring practically burst. She was concerned and confused and suddenly her voice raised. His heart was in his throat because he couldn’t imagine not having this. And then she froze in her pacing and her voice rang, “But … I-I really want to. Yes.” 

And he didn’t think his heart could swell so large as he watched her eyes well with tears, as he slid the ring onto her finger.

That was until this woman had, only ten months ago, given him the greatest gift he could ever have asked for, Harry. The smallest bundle of black hair tufts and pudgy arms he had ever seen. 

This Lily Evans was still fireworks, still a thunderstorm in May, still a dictatorial powerhouse. She could scream and yell and kick up her heels. But she was everything he wanted. For better or for worse. She was still it.

So when he woke up that morning with the sun and turned his head over just like he did every morning; he couldn’t help but catch his breath. He had never dreamed that he could be so loved, that he could love so fiercely, that his heart could swell so immensely. But here he was with his best friends and his little boy and his wife. Prophecy or not this was exactly where he belonged. This is where he was meant to be and he was going to fight like hell to protect this because Lily deserved that much, deserved to see her little one grow. And Harry deserved to have his mum lick her thumb to wipe dirt off his cheek, a mum who would wipe his tears and kiss his scraped knees. He deserved that.

And when her emerald eyes flickered open and the corner of her lip quirked upward his heart thudded loudly in his chest just like it had on their wedding day James couldn’t help but melt, “You know Evans, I could watch a million sunrises and still never see one quite as beautiful as your eyes slowly opening in the morning.”

(( OOC: Written by: carpetheday )) 

I don’t know what it is about your RP of Remus and/or Sirius that always makes me want to write about wolfstar but here we are. Enjoy.

Warning: NSFW

Sirius had his back pressed into a corner, one foot up against the wall and his hand tightly gripping his mug of Firewhiskey

His eyes were fixated on the scene before him

The area of the common room that had conveniently been converted into a dance floor was just swarming with sixth years

Not just Gryffindors either

Every House had taken the opportunity to show up

Even a select few Slytherins had come

Sirius wondered if it was because Rosie supplied them with an obscene amount of Firewhiskey

Or because they actually enjoyed hanging around with the lot of sixth years

But it didn’t really matter right now since he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from Colin Avery’s bloody hand and its bloody spot right above Remus Lupin’s. Bloody. Arse.

‘An annoying fit arse at that,’ Sirius’ mind groaned

He watched as Colin’s fist wrapped itself tightly in Remus’ aggravatingly tight black t-shirt to pull him closer

They were practically chest to chest now

Their hips almost connected

Why Merlin why, Sirius grumbled to himself

The way Remus’ cheeks were flush from the heat of the room and the one too many Butterbeers he had probably thrown back was making the hair on the back of Sirius’ neck stand

Plus Colin had this hungry look in his eye

And it was making the blood in Sirius’ veins boil

So he gripped the cup tighter, narrowed his brows at the sight and closed his eyes

It’s just dancing you prat, he thought

It’s was just your best mate having a good time, he assured himself

It’s just your best mate dancing way too closely with some prat from Ravenclaw whose shirt was too small for him and whose eyes were too far apart

Well …

Not really

But that was beside the point

Sirius’ eyes fluttered open and he cursed into his cup as he took another swing

Maybe alcohol could shake the feelings that erupted in the pit of his stomach every time Remus swung his hips and raised the corner of his lip at whatever Avery had whispered in his ear this time

Maybe alcohol could help him not to feel this

Especially since he wasn’t supposed to feel this

And not because he was a Black

That didn’t even matter

Nor did the fact that he was his family’s first heir

Or that his mother had essentially beat into him the idea that purebloods bred purebloods

Or that he was gay

Which he had figured out when he was fourteen 

Quidditch pants were good for more than fast flying, he smirked

It was that this was Remus

It was Moony, his best mate (next to Jamie of course)

He wasn’t about to ruin six years of friendship over a crush

His heart thudded at the word and his subconscious spoke up, ‘Just a crush? Are you sure?’

He shook the idea out of his head

It couldn’t be anything more than a crush, he couldn’t let it be more than a crush

Because Remus didn’t see him like that

Sirius would know

He spent practically every class this year with his eyes glued to the man and his insufferably lean frame every time he stretched his broad shoulders

Especially when he stood from his desk

The man was fit, Sirius wouldn’t deny that

Plus he told him all the time

But if Remus knew he meant it?

Like really, really meant it

If Remus knew that a shiver ran up Sirius’ spine whenever their arms brushed or fingers grazed or legs touched …

If Remus knew that the way he threw his head back in laughter, his neck exposed, made Sirius’ stomach flip and lips tingle …

If Remus knew that Sirius took the image of him coming out from the bathroom in nothing more than a towel that was hanging dangerously low on his hips with him into the shower …

He didn’t even want to think about it

So he took another swing of the last of the Firewhiskey in his cup and peered back toward the dance floor

He couldn’t help it

He had had his eyes on them all night anyway, what was a few more times?

His vision was blurrier than it was before

But it was nothing to the spinning in his head when we caught sight of those sandy-blonde curls

The empty cup dropped out of his hand

He didn’t ever hear the plastic faintly bounce against the carpet

There they were

Completely pressed against each other

Eyes locked, chest’s heavily rising and falling

Both Colin’s hands now firmly wrapped around Remus’ waist

Remus’ hands interlocked behind the tossers head

They were going to kiss, they were going to kiss, they were going to kiss

No no no no no no

Sirius felt like he was going to be sick

Definitely not a crush, his heart pounded in his chest

He pushed himself forward off the wall and barely felt his feet hit the ground as he flung himself towards the portrait hole

He didn’t hear James’ bellowing call over the music

Or Peter’s supplementary shout

He even tugged his arm away as Lily caught his elbow

They probably thought he was going to throw up

But let them, he probably was 

He couldn’t stay here

He couldn’t watch that

Not when he knew how badly he wanted to be in Colin’s place

Not we had had imagined the feeling of Remus’ lips on his

Trailing down his jawline, his neck, his chest

Lower, lower, lower …

His skin tingled at the thought

Why did he have to feel this?

Why did it have to be about Remus?

Why couldn’t it just be a stupid bloody crush?

He slammed his hand into the stone wall and cursed loudly when the sound of cracking reverberated in his ears

It was like white hot magma was running up his arm

Like it was dancing across the nerves under his skin

He clutched his fist in his other hand and cursed again

This time louder

His knuckles were swelling

Blood faintly dripping from the scratches

What a night this was turning out to be

‘Sirius?’

‘Sirius?’

‘Where in Merlin’s name…?’

The voice trailed off slightly

He could hear the scuffling of shoes against the stone stairwell

Hear a very familiar voice

And his heart leapt into his throat

Remus

Goddammit

‘There you are, wondered where you had gotten off too. Why are you out here?’

Sirius had his back pressed into the wall, his hand still clutched in his other and his head dangling towards the floor

He was hoping the curtain of his hair would shield him from seeing Remus

He didn’t want to look up right now

Not when his head was swimming in alcohol

Not when his entire body felt this warm

Not when his heart was still slamming itself into his chest harder than it had before

‘Sirius?’

‘Why are you holding your hand like that?’

‘Oh-oh, what the bloody hell did you do?’

Sirius’ voice was stuck in his throat as Remus spoke

It felt dry, so impossibly dry

‘Let me see that’

Remus had wrapped his long, slender fingers around Sirius’ wrist

Sirius opened his eyes and his throat closed even further

Remus, wand in hand, was peering down at his knuckles with his brows furrowed and his golden hazel eyes glazed with concern

He was standing too close to him

Way too close

So Sirius yanked his hand back, his elbow bouncing into the stone behind him

‘S’fine Lupin, how ‘bout you go back to Avery.’

The words had slipped out, slurred out, too quickly for him to reel them in

‘Avery? Who cares about that?’

Remus sounded bewildered by the comment

‘Look at your knuckles right now mate, they’re purple! You’ve obviously broken something!’

Remus reached out his fingers towards him again

Sirius’ head was spinning faster

His vision still clouded by the Firewhiskey

His head and nose filled with the most familiar scents

Remus’ cologne, the smell of his sweat, the way he always always smelled of chocolate

Why did he always have to smell so damn good?

Sirius was gritting his jaw and tensing his muscles

Which wasn’t helping the flaring pain in his hand and the rapid way it shot up his arm

‘S’fine’

The words came out aggressive, sloppy, harsh

Sirius had meant them too

He needed Remus away from him, as far away as he could get him

‘Would you stop being such a prat and let me heal it’

Remus surged forward

One hand connected with Sirius’ shoulder and slammed him harshly into the wall

The other wrapped around his forearm and raised his hand

Sirius was almost too distracted by the lack of space between them to hear Remus muttering a healing spell

Distracted by the beads of sweat dripping down the side of Remus’ face

Distracted by the way his collar bone peeked out through his shirt

Distracted by the pink flush of his cheeks

Distracted by the way his own heart was thumping so loudly now that he could feel the blood pumping in his ears

Crack

Sirius sucked in a deep breath of air as his knuckles popped into place

‘There’

Remus turned his face from downward at Sirius’ knuckles to peer into his eyes

‘Now. Going to tell me how you broke your knuckles?’

Sirius brain was in overdrive and the alcohol wasn’t helping

He had Remus right in front of him

Their chests almost brushing up against one another

That hand wrapped around his wrist

Those lips so close

The alcohol was starting to cloud his judgement

Why can’t you be with Remus?

Why shouldn’t you be?

His mind was swirling

‘Fuck it’ he murmured

Finally, his subconscious sighed

Sirius roughly wrapped his hands around Remus’ neck pulling him towards him

And then their lips connected

They finally connected

Remus yelped in surprise before his voice was muffled by the kiss

Sirius could feel the sudden change in Remus’ body, the muscles in Remus’ neck relaxing

He went from surprised to responsive

Merlin, Remus was responding

His chest roared triumphantly

He could feel Remus’ strong hands grasp his waist

And then he shoved him further into the wall

Their lips even more fiercely interlocked than before

Sirius was tugging on Remus’ bottom lip earnestly trying to deepen the kiss

Remus in turn was swiping his tongue along Sirius’ own bottom lip

Sirius moaned at the feeling giving Remus room to slip his tongue into his mouth

His skin felt like it had been lit on fire

He tasted like Butterbeer and chocolate and mint

Better than Sirius had even imagined

He ran his hands into Remus’ curls as his back scraped against the stone wall

Their hips grinding into one another

Sirius arched his back forward and a growl erupted from deep in Remus’ throat

Fuck

I need to hear that again

In response, Remus had shoved him back even harder, pinning Sirius between himself and the wall as his lips hungrily continued

The heat between them was growing

The need to be closer coiling itself in the pit of Sirius’ stomach

Sirius felt like his heart was going to explode

Then Remus spread his legs with his knee

Merlin

His erection was tightly confined in his jeans and now it was rubbing against Remus’ thigh

He groaned again at the thoughts his mind was conjuring

Remus tugging the zipper of his jeans down

His hands sliding in

Those fingers wrapping around him

He shuddered at the thought

And then shuddered again when Remus’ hips ground against him

He didn’t know how much farther Remus could push him

How much more of their bodies could be touching

But he wanted too

Merlin he wanted too

With Remus’ lean torso rubbing against him

With his broad shoulders looming over them in this dark hallway

With his large hands grasping at his skin and moving so agonizingly slow down his body until they reached his arse

Remus’ grasp tightened

Sirius moaned again

He could feel his chest constricting

His mind reminding him that he unfortunately needed to breathe

So he pulled back ever so slightly and the kiss began to slow

It became languid, soft, smooth

Their heavy breathing mingling between them as they pulled back

Eyes closed, foreheads resting together

‘Holy shit,’ Remus muttered breathlessly

Sirius’ eyes fluttered open at the words

A wave of concern and doubt suddenly washing over him

Oh no

Dear Merlin no

Please let this not have been a mistake

It couldn’t be

It felt so right

And then Remus spoke

‘I’ve been waiting for you to do that since fourth year’

What?

Had he heard that correctly?

Sirius could feel the corner of his lip turn up into a smirk

‘Should have done it yourself and maybe this would have happened ages ago.’

Remus released a soft laugh, his hands wrapped around Sirius’ hips, his thumbs comfortably resting on his hipbones

‘I should have. But this plan seemed to work just fine.’

Sirius’ eyes went wide

Plan?

Oh

‘You great prat,’ he tightened his grip on Remus’ hair and pushed his forehead further against Remus as the boy before him laughed

He had planned this

Remus had wanted this

Wanted him to get jealous

Wanted him to make a move

‘Dangerous idea you had Moons. The wall I punched could have just have easily been Colin’s nose.’

One of Remus’ eyebrows kinked, ‘Ah so that’s how you broke your knuckles.’

Sirius ran his hands back down to rest on Remus’ neck

‘As a wolf you should know dogs are insanely protective of what’s theirs.’

Remus’ eyes widened, his lips parting slightly and his shoulders rising as the air left his body

‘Theirs?’ he spoke softly

Sirius ran his thumb along Remus’ jaw

His eyes fixated on Remus’ swollen red lips

‘Well if you’re going to snog me like that than there’s no way in hell I’m letting you anywhere near another Colin bloody Avery. You’re mine Lupin.’

He watched as a smile spread slowly across Remus’ face

‘Yours. Think I like the sound of that.’

“It ends or it doesn’t. That’s what you say. That’s how you get through it. The tunnel, the night, the pain, the love. It ends or it doesn’t. If the sun never comes up, you find a way to live without it. If they don’t come back, you sleep in the middle of the bed, learn how to make enough coffee for yourself alone. Adapt. Adjust. It ends or it doesn’t. It ends or it doesn’t. We do not perish.” — Caitlyn Siehl (via wordsnquotes)

Warning: slight NSFW

Sirius was standing in front of the set of tall grimy windows that ran across the  living room wall of his childhood home. He was watching the snow coat the ground as the women with their prams trekked forward with children bundled so tightly only their eyes could be seen. He had been mesmerized by the view for the past few days, it was something so unbelievably normal and yet he wanted to cry. He wanted to rip and scratch and tear at the dull ache that sat curled like a snake in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to run out into the snow, feel the sun pierce his pale skin, feel the cold tingling in his fingers. But that ache had been there so long, 4380 days to be exact, that he didn’t know what it was like to live without it anymore. If he could.

But being back here was beginning to change that.

His emotions, ones that had stayed dormant for so long were unwinding themselves furiously at the most random of moments. He could feel rage burn deeply all over his skin when a plate hit the kitchen sink too loudly. He could feel agonizing sadness well deep in his chest at the sight of Remus’ visible ribs. He could feel overwhelming anxiety at the feeling of his wand curled between his fingers. It was all coming back to him, everything he had ever wanted to feel was floating through his body and he couldn’t tame it.

It was why he had been drawn to the window. He could stand and stare and feel absolutely nothing. It was easier, it was what he had learned to do in the confines of those four walls for all those years. If you let your mind go then the debilitating guilt, the crushing fear, the irreparable sadness, you would feel none of it. All he felt was the faint cold that came through the frosted glass and the fresh air the swept the room through the cracks. It was better this way; to walk through life half living.

By the sixth day however Remus had had enough of it.

Prompt:

“There used to be days that I thought I was okay, or at least that I was going to be. We’d be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think ‘it will be okay if it can just be like this forever’ but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever” — Nina LaCour, Hold Still (via theliteraryjournals)

Remus was sitting with his arms resting against his knees and his back pressed into their favourite tree by the Black Lake. The cigarette dangling from between his fingers was a bright glowing amber compared to the dark sky that surrounded him. He could see nothing but dark for miles except for the few faintly lit stars that shone brightly against the night. The moon was darkened by clouds just the way Remus liked it. He brought the cigarette back to his lips and took a long drag only to let it leave in a wisp from his barely parted lips a few moments later.

This spot always brought him comfort. He could picture James laying on his back, the golden snitch flittering between his fingers as his eyes darted around the grounds in search of a bubbly young redhead. He could picture Peter munching on another new bag of Bertie Botts Every Flavoured Beans and hear the muffled laughter that left his throat every few moments. He could see Sirius with his arms crossed above his head, his sunglasses reflecting the bright light of the sun and a smile permanently etched on his face as he rhymed off joke after joke. It put him at ease to close his eyes and picture them around him. His mind had been swimming lately with thoughts of graduation and the war and what the hell he was going to do with his bloody life.