Carola

gravity falls human bill AU where bill comes back as a human except instead of dropping in at the mystery shack, he appears outside of mabel and dipper’s house in piedmont

dipper and mabel have So Much explaining to do

their parents want to call the cops but mabel and dipper are like NO. DONT.

we canNOT let anyone know he’s here and alive. actually we might have to kill him.

parents, hearing their thirteen year olds casually discuss murder: WHAT

theyre like “we have to call the grunkles” and the parents are ?? plural? grunkleS?

then they have to back up nd explain ford

and all of that

this whole time bill is tied to a kitchen chair all gagged and blindfolded and yelling in annoyance

mabel and dipper are ignoring him and the parents are Very Much Not Ignoring Him

they call the grunkles and explain the situation and the parents hear a twin WHAT followed by a lot of yelling and swearing and crashing and then stan says “okay we’ll be there by tomorrow love you kids STAY SAFE BYE”

dipper: wait. if they’re getting here tomorrow then… what do we do with Bill in the meantime?

mabel, behind him holding a frying pan: i have an idea

parents: NO

they ungag him and it’s like. dipper and mabel armed with grappling hook + baseball bat plus their parents standing behind them trying to figure out if a) their kids are having a mental break and b) if they just kidnapped some random dude

these concerns are quickly allayed when bill starts threatening to kill everyone really loudly and graphically

then suddenly dipper is like. wait. if you could kill us by ripping our skin off our bones limb by limb…. why haven’t you don’t that already

bill:

Dipper:

bill:

dipper: ARE YOU POWERLESS

bill: nO-