Graham Nortonâs Sassy Comments Eurovision 2019 Part 1
About Commentator: âoh he looks a bit like Jeff Goldblum. Â A Jeff Goldblum whoâs made poor choices.â
âShe has been given the dreaded number two slot.  [âŚ] no-one in the second spot has ever won.  Will she change history?  Iâm not a mystic, but no.â
âNow she can repurpose that dress as Christmas decorationsâ
âI wouldnât listen to the lyrics too closely theyâre quite unsettlingâ
âyou can almost smell those jumpers from the commentary room, phew!â
âthe days of booing Russia seem to be behind usâ
âthe staging. Â Itâs as if whoever designed the set got inches and feet mixed up and is now too embarrassed or frightened to admit it and sheâs been left with a chair thatâs ten feet tallâ
âLeonora with her friends.  I wonder if theyâll stay in touch after tonight⌠ That Whatâs App group will be deleted by midnight.â
âthis song he claims took five minutes to write⌠I assume he spent the other four minutes shaving his headâ
âa reminder that fifteen songs didnât make it through the semi finals⌠that did.â
 About the Green Room: âBy the way if you want a badly made grey sofa, theyâll be available tomorrow morning.â âwe tear ourselves away from the green room, always so fun back thereâ
Commentator: Shall we get back to the competition?
Graham: Yes, sad Jeff Goldblum.
ânow if you needed a warning about social media, these two met on instagram.  Their families must have said ârun! runâ but they didnât listen and now this has happenedâ
âRomantic, or creepy? Â You decide.â
âletâs just say her costume is for standingâ
âI hope she stays on her feet. Â otherwise itâs a trip to A & E. Â âNurse; the tweezersâ
âitâs very simple staging [âŚ] you can tell since heâs being upstaged by a lightbulbâ
âsheâs got a very distinctive voice⌠you may or may not enjoy itâ
âI think theyâll be putting that balloon in a skip along with [The Netherlands] lightbulbâ
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